My four year old son has worked out that cats are female, dogs are male,and that when they get married, the babies are mice.

Anon

I remember my aunt had two identically marked cats, Abadon and Adolph. I asked, what kind of a cat is Adolph. And she said he's a male cat. I asked about Abadon and she said she is Adolph's mother. I knew there were boys and men and fathers and girls and women and mothers, but didn't know there were males and females. So of course I heard "mail cat".

So I thought long and hard about how this cat could be a mail cat. I figured that's why she let him out in the morning because he had a lot to do during the day - delivering the mail, helping with the mail and such.

CP

When I was a kid, my dad told me the animal shelter was "kitty heaven." One day while riding in the car with my aunt, we passed the animal shelter. I proclamied, "that's were Muffin lives now." I of course was refering to my dead cat, my aunt just thought I was crazy!

Anon

I thought my cats would go to parties at night when they knew everyone was in bed. I thought they would talk at bars and have drinks. I thought they would sing karoke. I thought they had a secret door to get into the cat world! Sometimes, I would stay up and spy on them until I fell asleep. I thought this until I was 9!

PaRtY cAt

I was six years old. While my grandfather and uncle were having an argument about money, just then their elderly dachshund yawned, making a noise that sounded like the word "money." All conversation stopped, and everyone stared at the dog. Finally my grandmother commented, "That dog is getting more human every day." This led me to belive that dogs tuned into people as they got old.

Raya

When I was little, my male cat was... huge. One day a friend and I decided that he was in labor and spent the entire day trying to help him give birth to kittens.

Of course, we also had to prove that he was, in fact, a girl. So we felt around his stomach and found nipples... Proof enough for us.

We decided that the babies had died inside of him when he hadn't given birth. For a weeks we called him a "she" and were very sad about his kittens dying.

Taz

My brother used to believe when our dog was getting fat that she was going to pop. He Cried!

A very Ashamed Brother

I was convinced my cat was going to steal my money at night.

Anon

When I was a toddler, my mom would tell me that if I was really nice to our cat, it would eventually start talking.

Anon

When I was younger, a friend of mine had a reascally little beagle (un-fixed). I went over to her house one day, and the dog started humping my leg. I was mortified and started crying. Not only because the dog did that, but because I had a general idea of what it was doing, and I was scared to death that I'd be the freak mother of half-puppy half-human babies!

Anon

When i was nine the neighbor's dog would jump on me and hump me. I used to believe he wanted a piggy back ride. Now I know it is wrong.

Alicia

I used to believe that short haired cats were long haired cats who'd just had haircuts. I believed this until I was 14, when I asked a friend with a short haired cat if it had just had a haircut.

jlz

When I was alittle girl, I used to think that when two dogs were humping, that one was just trying to "push the other one along" or hurry him up. So one day when my family was at a reunion, I saw one of our dogs "pushing" the other one, and I yelled,real loud, "Don't push so hard Freddie, Jannies coming!" Mom got quite a few comments

Lizzie

i saw our tom cat back up and spray the grape vine one day, i believed and informed my younger brother, that the cat was spraying for bugs, so we couldn't eat any grapes down there because of poison. i guess i was sorta right. lol

ferri

When I being Potty Trained we had two cats, Achllies and Troy. Well, one day I went outside and pulled off my training pants and started going poop. I thought I was a cat I guess, because when my mom saw me and sked what I was doing I responded, "Kitties poop outside!"
My mom hates it, but the rest of my family loves telling it and I always tease her about hating it.
I also would kiss the oldest, Achillies, goodnight cause I thought he was my Grampa.

Margaret, 12

When I was little we got a kitten, and we couldn't decide on the name so my dads friend picked him up and looked at his belly then said "His name is Timon then". I was only three and was amazed by how he knew this, my dads friend then told me that all cats have their names on their bellies written in a secret cat language. I realised not to long ago that he was asscertaining the sex of the cat.

AkiHisuiQON

When I was 4 or 5, we had a dog named cinnamon. She had been sent to a friend`s for awhile because we wanted some puppies.Well, my mom made some really delicious cookies and I asked what they were flavoured with. I, not knowing where cinnamon was, was mortified when mommy said "Cinnamon."

Lexi

We had a neighbor with a little white dog and when I asked what kind of dog he was, she said "It's a toy poodle." WOW! But it was so REAL looking!!! I was totally blown away! I kept surreptitiously searching for the switch to make the dog turn on and off, and trying to figure out where was the battery compartment, and was disappointed that they didn't have these things in the Christmas catalogs. I might have even started to suspect that our neighbor had been just fooling, but then one day I saw some other tiny dog, and I wondered: Could this by chance be another of those amazing toys? So I asked that dog's owner "Is that a toy dog?" and the answer was YES! Having received this further confirmation, I went on for YEARS thinking "toy dogs" were robots that looked absolutely life-like. This really was mind boggling and I spent a lot of time contemplating this amazing technological breakthrough.

Cheri

My family bought a dog when I was 5 years old. I didn't really believe that a dog was a different species. I thought there was a little person (and I mean little, because we had a miniature schaunzer) inside a furry suit. Sometimes, I would look into his eyes and think, "I know you're in there."

Stacey

When I was little i would never change in front of my pets because i thought that they would tell there other animal friends and keep it going until an animal told a parrot and the parrot would say it out loud and tell everyone at school that my animal saw me naked.

Brenna