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cats & dogs

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When I was about 11 yrs old I asked my mom how kittens were born and she said "through their mother's mouth". For many years I believed it and thought nothing about it. I was well into my forties when I found out the truth through a friend.

Lilliana
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I used to believe that our cat was a robot that spied on me for my parents. I thought that they used it to tell when I left my room even when they couldn't see me. Because my aunt gave it to us, I thought she had a control station for it, but my parents had a video screen showing what it saw through its camera eyes.

Lee
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When I was about 10, My mom, sister and I were visiting my grandparents. They were all talking when I notice a pink moving thing coming out of the belly of my grandmother's dog. Now, my cat recently had worms, and I was certain my grandmother's dog had a giant worm. Horrified, I asked loudly, "grandma, what is that?!" And pointed to it. To which my grandmother responded, slightly annoyed, "That's his penis."

I was terribly embarrassed.

Anon
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I used to believe that my dogs could talk to me...all I had to do was practice barking so I could understand them.

JamesBP
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My sister used to love dogs. When she was about 5 she asked my dad what a female dog was called. He said 'bitch'. From then on, whenever someone asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, she answered 'a bitch'.

Lily
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I used to think that dogs were the males and cats were the females and thats why they were always chasing each other...

Daniel Thor
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I could talk (bark) with dogs, and
understand everything they were saying.
Other people claimed that I couldn't,
but I thought they were just being stubborn.

Elissa
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when I was little, I used to belive that if I didn't go for lots of walks with my dog, she would eventually explode.Which made it so I walked my dog everyother hour.

Lucy B
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As a kid, I used to believe that technology would advance rapidly and creat a machine that would enable us to watch our dogs thoughts and memories on a monitor like a movie. I was really worried my parents would find out about all the "bad" things I had done when they weren't there (but the dog was...)

guilty
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When I was five, I decided that cats needed haircuts just like people. I grabbed some scissors, crawled under the dining room table, and cut all of my cat's whiskers off. I wasn't allowed to used scissors for two months.

katie B
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When I was little a friend told me that kittens come from a cat if you plant it in the ground, so I tried to plant our cat in the ground and the cat scratched me in the face really hard.

Anon
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I used to believe that my dog could speak English, but he just didn't feel like it.

Mariah
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When I was seven, my uncle, who lived upstairs from us, brought home a puppy, which he eventually gave to my sister and me. He and my aunt said it was "part dalmatian and part travelling salesman," so for years I thought there was a breed of dog called a travelling salesman. I wondered why I never saw any reference to it anywhere. I figured it out when I was around twelve and started hearing those jokes.

C.C.
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I used to and sometimes still think, that there was people inside my dogs. That since the begining of time people hid themselves in dog outfits, I was of-course never afraid to change in front of them because all my dogs were girls, then I got a boy dog. he ran away. This theory was destroyed when my dog had puppies.

Remember Bird brain and Mousy mouth? Well I'm doggy ditz.
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Bearing in mind my mother called my penis my 'tail' I was always so worried about being near dogs because they tended to wag their tails a lot and I didn't want to get covered in wee.

Mux
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I used to believe...thanks to my older sister...that dogs could talk, but they just didn't talk to me, cause they didn't like me.

Jen
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I used to think that you were supposed to pat dogs and stroke cats, and that there was something unnatural or wrong about stroking a dog or patting a cat. It just didn't feel right.

Now, however, I own a weird cat who seems to like being vigorously thumped.

Love 'em both
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When I was very young, Smoothie, our English Bulldog, was very ill with cancer. On one of many visits to the 'doggie doctor' I was left alone with my imagination in the waiting room. Since I had never met the 'doggie doctor', I sat trying to visualize him. That is when I decided if the doctors were dogs, then the cats must be nurses.

~wiser now
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I used to be afraid to let our cat sleep in my bed with me, because my brother told me that cats suck out your souls through your nose while you are sleeping. I know, I was a deeply disturbed child.

disturbed
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When I was little, our cat had kittens, which she kept for a while in a cardboard box that we provided for her. Since I heard the kittens collectively called a litter of kittens, I called the box a litter box. Several people laughed at me at the time for that, and I had no idea why. Later when I learned what a litter box is, I found it very curious that cats have litters of kittens, but a litter box is what cats poo in. In fact, I STILL find it curious.

Leanne
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