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I remember being at a restaurant when I was little and my mom said something about the Nazis "gassing the Jews" and I thought she was saying "gassing the juice". I figured it meant when you try to fart but it squirts instead. I couldn't understand why my mom would be talking about something so disgusting while we were eating. (I guess what she was actually talking about wasn't very pleasant dinner conversation either.)
When I was little I thought that if you farted the smell would stay by your butt. So whenever I did I'd try to make sure to stay away from people, and under NO circumstances turn my back to anyone close by.
Erin
I believed that a giant cartoon-like skunk tail, black with stripe, would pop out your butt when you farted, and go back in before you could see it, which explained the "pop" feeling that comes with a fart.
Stacie
After seeing the Nutty Professor, I was scared to death to fart around a lit match or a stove. I believed that if I farted around these fire hazards that the world would explode into a big-ass mushroom cloud due to gas-caused explosions. One day, I accidentally let one rip after eating several frozen burritoes. I was terrified to realize that I let one go near my aunt's gas stove. The gas was on high while the stove was cooking my aunt's boiled eggs. I ran away screaming for my life like a savage/ Running outside flailing my arms around at every passing car that the world was going to explode any minute because I farted a big one.
Man, I was dumb.
The Big Loser Girl.
When I was young my dad used to lean against things like a wall or tree,or he would bend over and pick something up and he would rip a long loud one. Then say something like"did you hear that? the tree is moving" or "sounds like this thing is broken".He now walks stairs and says"creeky stairs, i better fix them soon"
my dad, the tree mover
I Used to Beleve that if you sang this song it would make your farts seem better so here it is Beans Beans the More you Eat the More you Toot but singing that didnt help at all
As a child I believed that if I did not pull my fathers finger that he could explode. Now that I have a child of my own, I have instilled this fear in her.
Michael, Jasper IN USA
Upon asking my mum why she never farted, she told me that mum's couldn't fart after having children, because it messed up 'that' part of your body. And I think I actually believed it well into my teens!
When I was little, I always thought that if you held a burp in, it turned into a fart; and if you held in a fart, it turned into a burp.
Shelly
When I was younger I used to think that when someone said, "He is going to the gas chamber" that the "gas" was farts. I envisioned a bunch of people pressing there butts into holes in the wall and expelling gas. The gas was either bottled or the "victim" was in the room while the gas was being expelled. I now know the real meaning of the saying, but I still get a laugh out of my original thought.
Jennifer
Never hold back a fart. if you do it builds up in your brain and causes shitty ideas
When I was little i thought that when i farted, it ment that my butt burped
Anonymous
I remember when my sister was about 5, she would not fart in the tub. She thought that it would form a smelly-film on top of the water that would kling to every inch of your body when you were ready to get out of the tub.
When I was little, I used to enjoy smelling my farts. If I farted in public, I would have a disgusted look on my face and I would pretend to cover my nose but I would actually sniff them in deeply. I did this because I believed that smelling something strong and rancid would make my sense of smell stronger and able to smell the worst of things. Good times, good times..
Yuck!!
One time my dad told me that if I fart and burp at the same time, you would implode. I tried and tried, but I couldn't do it. About six mounths later my dad told me that it wasn't true. That means I told all my friends a lie!
When I was a kid, I believed that my turds were alive, and mostly didn't die until after they came out of my ass. But occasionally one would die while still inside, and that would make a fart, a fart being the ghost of a turd that had died. Now that I'm older that theory would have to mean that most all of my turds now die while still inside my butt!
Pam
i used to believe that every time i farted i was being jet propelled.
chuckipoo
I used to believe that if you sniffed a really stinky fart, it would poison your insides and die.
Fartcheeks
I used to believe that when I 'popped off', as long as I said 'Pardon me' it wouldn't smell. I hate to think how many times I farted in company and then quietly whispered 'pardon me', thinking no-one else would ever know what I had done!
Rosie
for a lot of years i wouldn't fart in the winter, especially on cold days. i used to see the way your breath made visible 'clouds' and thought that if i farted, my bum would do the same thing. this was only proved to be wrong about 3 years ago when i asked my now husband to see if it did leave a cloud behind me...it's a wonder he still married me after that lol
PaganJay
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