I was told in first grade that if you fart burp and sneeze at the same time you would blow up

bob doodle

I used to think that farting was the sound the food I ate crying. My uncle used to tell me 'Dont be embarrassed about farting in public, A fart is just the cry of a lonely turd'
Then hed do his famous fart poem

Excuse the gas that had to pass
just be happy I have a clean ass.

He was pretty gross!

Timmmmmy

When I was little I used to think that if you farted in the shower it wouldn't smell cos the water would wash it clean.

Anon

My Granpa told me if i would fart and talk at the same time i would die. i remember the first time that happened and it scared me pretty bad.

Anon

When I was young my mum told me that things that smell bad were poisonous. So every bathtime I would take an empty jamjar. I fill the jamjar with water and catch the bubbles from farts I did in the bath. Later on when my sister was a sleep i would sneak into her room and take the lid off the jar and let her breath the poisonous fumes in her sleep. To my disapointment se survived for over a week and is still alive

My parents made me do it

My mom used to tell me that if I swallowed my gum when I farted, I would blow a bubble out of my butt.

bubblebutt

I used to believe that my mom couldn't fart..For years you'd hear or smell something, and we'd immediately say "DaD! Stop being so disgusting" and he's just smile. Until one day it happend again, and the standard procedure ensued, and he gave us the most ghastly look, thats when we realised that it was mom, cos she had a smirk the size of Africa on her face...

razz

i was told in first grade that when you farted green gass or bubbles come out....so for months i tried to catch a peek when i farted....but i always missed. it came out before i got a look. i still haven't seen what a fart looks like, but adult reasoning tells me that there would be a green coloring to my underwear if this were so.

shane

My mom used to say that if you farted to much ,when you got old that you butt would become loose and you wouldn't be able to hold you poop in and you'd poop your pants.

BBQ13

When I was young I apparently had a curious belief about farting. My parents found this out when I announced, after one particularly loud fart, that I had a horn in my bottom.

Rich

In elementary school, we all used to believe that there was a nerve between your eyebrows that, if pushed with your thumb, would prevent you from smelling someone's fart. This was called "corking it".

Anon

To begin, you need a bit of background on my family: Dad's a lawyer, Mom's a medical researcher. And they're a bit careless with their references.

Anyway, I found a book called the Amazing Machine about the human body, and, being at the time in my machinery-fascination stage, started reading.

Then after dinnertime, I sat at the table and waited for several minutes. When Mom noticed me, she asked what I was waiting for.

To which I replied, "For someone to bring in this can of gas we're supposed to pass around after we eat."

Anon