WHEN I WAS YOUNG, MY FATHER RIPPED A BIG ONE AND EXCLAIMED, "OH! SOMEONE MUST BE PRAYING FOR ME. AN EVIL SPIRIT JUST LEFT MY BODY!" FROM THEN ON (FOR A LITTLE WHILE)I BELIEVED A FART WAS THE STINKY RESULT OF DIVINE INTERVENTION.

JACK THE RIPPER'S SON

I once asked my mother what whould happen if you held in a fart, not getting much response I asked would the gas poison your insides, to which she replied yes (being a mother now with 3 young kids constantly asking questions - I realise now she was not actually listening to me). Unfortunately I believed holding them in would kill me so from that day I would fart whenever the need took me - including a very loud embarrassing one in Kindy during the singing session. I put up with the humiliation of everyone laughing at me because I genuinely beleived I had saved my own life.

No Longer Farts in Public (not loud ones anyway)

I thought that you could capture a fart in a jar - Sound and all. The procedure was that you fart in the jar and put the lid on as quickly as possible. A fart in a jar could last as long as a week. As the week went by the fart degraded

C S Wagon

I used to believe that our family was the only family that farted.

Teri

When I was little my dad used to tell me that when he farted, that if I breathed it in I wouldn't get a cold in the winter

Anan

My father used to tell my brother that if he breathed in my father's farts, that it would make my brother grow. So when my father would cut one, my brother would run up and take big, long whiffs. Cracked dad up.

Anon

Until I was about 9, I believed farts were actually bubbles...rather unpleasant brown bubbles, to be specific. Farts sounded different because some involved just a few big bubbles bursting loudly, while others were the result of a large number of small bubbles popping in rapid succession. These bubbles also explained why one's underwear sometimes ended up stained at the end of the day. All quite internally consistent, when you think about it.

The boy in the bubble

When I was young, my parents referred to farts as "Tooters." Of course, this was never written down, so my concept of the spelling of the word was not quite what it was today. I was convinced it was spelled "Tudor," and when I first heard that word used to describe the style of house I was really, really confused.

Anon

I used to believe that if you farted in a jar and put it in the fridge it would turn into a cabbage by morning.

Silly Robbin

I truly believed my dad had a Magic Finger. Every time I pulled it, he farted. It wasn't until I was about 8 that I figured out it was more of a timing thing.

Joe

Up until 8th grade or so, I was convinced that I invented the word "Fart"

Jonah