body functions : farting - I Used To Believe

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Girls don't fart

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as i kid (about 4 or 5) my mother asked me to assist my younger sister in going to the toilet as she was busy with some friends who had come round for coffee. Once in the bathroom, it in fact turned out little sis in fact only needed to fart. Upon returning downstairs and announcing to my mother and her highly amused friends that it wasnt a poo, but in fact 'a burp that comes out of your bottom', It took me some years before I learnt the word fart

dopey_jon

I used to believe that people only fart when they drink Pepsi.And farts were produced to tease people with bad smell.If we smelled those farts , we could even die.

Omer Bari

This isn't my belief, but a few years ago my best friend made her little brother believe that if you ate only one food for an entire week (for example, apples), that your farts would smell like apples.
He never got to test the theory because there's no way a parent would let their child eat only one food for an entire week!

Arisu

When I was young, my parents referred to farts as "Tooters." Of course, this was never written down, so my concept of the spelling of the word was not quite what it was today. I was convinced it was spelled "Tudor," and when I first heard that word used to describe the style of house I was really, really confused.

Anon

I used to believe that if you farted in a jar and put it in the fridge it would turn into a cabbage by morning.

Silly Robbin

I used to think farts were called Kermies.. so I always associated them with Kermit the Frog. I got laughed at in PRESCHOOL for that one!

My grandpa, who was the Champeen Farter of the East Coast, used 1 of 3 excuses when he'd rip a good one.

(imagine a thick Slovenian accent here, if you can:)

(1) (looks at floor) "Floors creakin'"
(2) (looks out window) "Thunder"
(3) (looks at me with big smile) "Frogs"

Joe

I truly believed my dad had a Magic Finger. Every time I pulled it, he farted. It wasn't until I was about 8 that I figured out it was more of a timing thing.

Joe

Up until 8th grade or so, I was convinced that I invented the word "Fart"

Jonah

I was once told that if you farted while making a funny face or gesture with your body, you would stay with that expression or in that position forever. I told myself that it was rubbish, but never really had the guts to try it.

Mantis

I used to belive that when u burped,u farted thru your mouth.

John

I was sure I had it figured out: exploding turds caused farts.

This is so embarrassing, but my dad used to tell us that when you fart it's your bodies way of telling you you have to go to the bathroom!! If we farted more than once he'd be like "Ok, go to the bathroom already!"

My babysitter told me that if you swallowed your gum, the next time you pooted, a bubble would come out of your butt.

Anon.

My boyfriend apparently thinks he has amphibian farts. Every time he lets one go, he mentions "Frogs".

Anon

One day I passed gas and my daughter was right there (she was 3 at the time). I told her it was a low flying duck and to this day everytime she lets one go she says, "daddy I have a duck in my pants." Funny.

Anonymous

When I was in elementary school one of my guy friends told me that guys were the only ones who had stinky farts, and that girl farts smelled like perfume. I felt abnormal for a long time because mine usually did stink.

Tiffany

my grampa told me me when i was little that when you fart sitting down you have to lean a little to let it out or else it would sneak up your butt crack and blow your belt off. he also said that if you fart in church you have to sniff it all up before everyone else smells it.

sylvie

My dad used to tell me that if I farted a really stinky fart that it would burn a hole in my underwear...I used to check every time.

some fool

When I was little when someone farted around me I freaked out. You obviously didn't want to breathe through your nose and smell it...so one would think to breathe through your mouth? Not me. I thought that if I would breathe through my mouth, my breath would smell like the fart and everyone could smell it thinking I farted. Needless to say there were probably many occasions where I turned blue from holding my breath.

Anon

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