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When I was 4 we were getting ready to move from Texas to Washington. My mom told me that it is illegal to fart in Washington. If I farted the "pooper scooper squad" would come and take me to the "pooper Pokey". I cried because I didn't understand how was supposed to hold my farts in.
I thought farting was magical wind, and if you did it loud and hard, you would be able to move yourself.
I used to believe farts were light blue bubbles that came out of your butt (why they were blue bubbles, I'll never know). I used to fart in my bed in the dark and dive under the covers real fast, trying to see them before they popped and disappeared....and I wondered why my big sister hated sharing a room with me!
My mom told me that she had stocked up on a "new" invention that you spray around the house and if someone farts the air around their butt turns purple and a purple cloud follows them and everyone knows they farted. I was very feminine and girly when i was younger so i was terrified that everyone would find out that i fart! lol
When I was younger my parents would take my 4 sisters and I out to the movies and while walking down the sidewalk my Dad would let out a LOUD FART and then he would blame it on one of us girls. Well when he did it this time we were walking right by this Gym where there were soooooo many FINE looking Guys lifting weights and when Dad said that to me I was sooooo embarassed....
When I was 5 my brother told me to strech a huge wad of gum over my bum. And then fart to make fart bubbles.This was fun
From
fart bubbles!!
If you farted it would eat the skin off your butt
I was always a quizzical kid. Back in the mid 1970's, I was asking what the word "leisure" was. My sister, who was getting tired of all of my questions, told me that "leisure" meant "fart". Of course my next question was why would anybody want to wear a "fart suit". Even today when certain body functions are churnning, I say that I "leisured".
I used to believe if you fart hard enough you can fly
I used to believe that if you had to fart and held it in too long that it would cause you to blow up
when i was little i used to believe that if i said "excuse me " when i fated , the smell would go away (it didn't!)
i used to believe that stomach aches were farts stuck in sideways.
I used to believe that the natural gas trucks you see on the road were filled up with fart gas. I thought that people hooked up a hose to their butt and farted as hard as they could,the gas would travel up the hose into the trucks tank. That's why I always thought natural gas was so expensive.
I used to believe that if you stood in front of an open woodstove when it was hot, and farted, the tozic fumes of the fart would catch fire. I tried this many times, and so did my brother, but alas we could never make our farts catch fire.
when iwas like 9yrs old i believed that i had to do 2 farts after whatever i ate or else i would explode i always blamed it on the food i still do
i used to think if you didn't fart within 1 year when you were about to fart you'd explode.
I used to believe that a fart was a bubble (like a soap bubble) with a little chunk of poo in it. When the bubble burst, it made the fart sound and the smell of the poo-chunk would come out.
I used to believe there were ducks that
lived under my Dad's chair because when he farted he would declare "Must be a duck in here"
I remember being at a restaurant when I was little and my mom said something about the Nazis "gassing the Jews" and I thought she was saying "gassing the juice". I figured it meant when you try to fart but it squirts instead. I couldn't understand why my mom would be talking about something so disgusting while we were eating. (I guess what she was actually talking about wasn't very pleasant dinner conversation either.)
When I was little I thought that if you farted the smell would stay by your butt. So whenever I did I'd try to make sure to stay away from people, and under NO circumstances turn my back to anyone close by.
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