When i was little my friends convinced me that when i heard somebody else fart that it was really me.And they told me that no body would know if i sniffed them up quickly enough.Needless to say, my friends constantly tried to fart so that could watch me turn around and sniff untill i thaught it was gone.

fart sniffer

when i was a little kid, when my dad always farted he would say "there goes another barking spider." whenever he said that, i would dive on the floor looking for it.

Anon

When I was a kid my sister once told me that it was a sin to hold back a fart in Church. The reason she gave - concentrating on holding in the fart would distract your attention from the service, and you were supposed to give all your attention to the service. She even told me that because people are supposed to freely fart in Church whenever they get an urge to, that's why the seats are called "pews". Well, it seemed to make sense to me at the time. But by the time I had only let a few good farts in Church, I clearly found out that doing so did NOT meet with my parents' approval. I guess I then began to realize my sister had been playing with me.

Valerie

when ever i farted i used to think that it would cause a hurricane in another part of the world so when ever i heard of or saw a hurricane on the news i would go into my room crying thinking i killed 1000s of people

bobert

i was scared to fart outside in cold weather because i thought u would be able to see the steam.

xJeNneSceNcEx

I used to think my dad had magic farts because when he put a match to it, it would shoot out a blue flame.

Anon

i used to think that when you held a fart in, that that exact fart would come back exactly a year later; that's right, same time, same day, but one year later. But because this fart had been hibernating for a year it would come back as a really powerful one, that's why some of my farts were smellier or noisier than others i figured. so if i was going to hold one in i had to evaluate whether it was worth it or whether in a year's time i would be in an inconvenient situation. jeez what a freak i was, this kind of thinking can only lead to best-sellers.

first kid on the block

I didn't realize till later on in my young life...I'm 14...that pets farted. One day I smelt something that was a little unusual to say the least and I was the only one in the room I finally realized that my cat had let one and was staring up at me like nothing happened...My other cat runs from his farts!!!!

.....I have discovered the truth

Everytime my dad farted he used to blame it on those damn ducks. My naive brothers and I believed my dad and everytime we heard him fart, we tried to find the ducks before they got away.

Alana

When I was about 5-6 years old, I used to think that whenever someone farted, a little invisible man came out of ur butt, made the sound, and ran around the room stinking the place up with some sprayer he had.

Anon

when i first heard about heat sensor cameras, i always thought that most shops would have the cctv camera with this built in. i would never fart in a shop incase they were looking at the heat sensor camera, and see a big patch of heat coming out of my bum, i accidentally did one once, and i kept waiting for one of the shop staff to come over to laugh and point at me!
awwwwwwwwww

lue

for a lot of years i wouldn't fart in the winter, especially on cold days. i used to see the way your breath made visible 'clouds' and thought that if i farted, my bum would do the same thing. this was only proved to be wrong about 3 years ago when i asked my now husband to see if it did leave a cloud behind me...it's a wonder he still married me after that lol

PaganJay

When I was a kid, I believed that my turds were alive, and mostly didn't die until after they came out of my ass. But occasionally one would die while still inside, and that would make a fart, a fart being the ghost of a turd that had died. Now that I'm older that theory would have to mean that most all of my turds now die while still inside my butt!

Pam

When I was younger I used to think that when someone said, "He is going to the gas chamber" that the "gas" was farts. I envisioned a bunch of people pressing there butts into holes in the wall and expelling gas. The gas was either bottled or the "victim" was in the room while the gas was being expelled. I now know the real meaning of the saying, but I still get a laugh out of my original thought.

Jennifer

My mom told me that she had stocked up on a "new" invention that you spray around the house and if someone farts the air around their butt turns purple and a purple cloud follows them and everyone knows they farted. I was very feminine and girly when i was younger so i was terrified that everyone would find out that i fart! lol

Courtney

I thought farting was magical wind, and if you did it loud and hard, you would be able to move yourself.

Blake

I used to believe farts were light blue bubbles that came out of your butt (why they were blue bubbles, I'll never know). I used to fart in my bed in the dark and dive under the covers real fast, trying to see them before they popped and disappeared....and I wondered why my big sister hated sharing a room with me!

Carrie from Appleton, WI

I thought that farts were your butt screaming to not be sat on. Well, my uncle Morty was sitting beside me on my couch, watching telivision. He let a huge, loud one rip. We had been sitting for a while. "Uncle Morty your butt is upset from being sat on!" I yelled and when he got up, i kissed and patted his bum to make it all better!

Anon

I used to believe that if I turned my head and looked at my butt when I farted, I would see the fart coming out. So one day I went into the bathroom naked and looked at my butt until I farted. I was very disappointed when I saw that farts are invisible.

Vannah

When i was about 5, my mom farted in front of me (as she always does) and jokingly said "bad dog" to our dog under the table, as if it was him who farted. but i thought she was saying it because my dog somehow had the power to make her fart and from then on whenever i had to fart i'd go and yell at Rover.

gina