When I was a kid, I believed that my turds were alive, and mostly didn't die until after they came out of my ass. But occasionally one would die while still inside, and that would make a fart, a fart being the ghost of a turd that had died. Now that I'm older that theory would have to mean that most all of my turds now die while still inside my butt!

Pam

I thought farting was magical wind, and if you did it loud and hard, you would be able to move yourself.

Blake

I used to believe farts were light blue bubbles that came out of your butt (why they were blue bubbles, I'll never know). I used to fart in my bed in the dark and dive under the covers real fast, trying to see them before they popped and disappeared....and I wondered why my big sister hated sharing a room with me!

Carrie from Appleton, WI

I thought that farts were your butt screaming to not be sat on. Well, my uncle Morty was sitting beside me on my couch, watching telivision. He let a huge, loud one rip. We had been sitting for a while. "Uncle Morty your butt is upset from being sat on!" I yelled and when he got up, i kissed and patted his bum to make it all better!

Anon

When i was about 5, my mom farted in front of me (as she always does) and jokingly said "bad dog" to our dog under the table, as if it was him who farted. but i thought she was saying it because my dog somehow had the power to make her fart and from then on whenever i had to fart i'd go and yell at Rover.

gina

When my daughter was really little, 3 or so, she was strapped into her car seat in the back of our SUV. I noticed she was having a pretty bad case of gas and I asked aloud, "Where is all your gas coming from?" Never expecting an answer I just about fell over when a tiny voice from the rear answered, "I dunno. The gas station?"

Tracy

When I was about 7, I would always hang out at my cousins house on the weekends, and (Im not sure why) I belived that (little) Chinese people lived in my butt. Whenever I farted, I would say,"Hey! there shooting fireworks again! I wish I could see them!"

Rose

When I was younger, I used to believe if you caught all your farts in a jar and then closed the lid real tight after and then caught a lightning bug in the same jar, that when the lightning bug lit up it would cause the fart gas to blow up.

Carly

When I was about six years old, my mother told my little brother, two years younger than me, that girls are "made of sugar and spice and everything nice." This made my little brother think that we girls never did things like pass gas. One day, when we were playing outside, I accidentally let one rip, and he came to the conclusion that I was in fact a boy dressed as a girl. He then referred to me as his big brother for the next three years.

Eileen

A friend of mine used to believe that girls' farts somehow smelled "sweet, like flowers." I guess he took the whole "sugar and spice" thing a bit too literally. Long story short, he got me to fart in his face to prove it and was swiftly proven wrong.

The really strange thing? We were 14 at the time.

Jessica

When I was about 5 I told my family that I felt bad for God - Since farts are hot air and hot air rises - God must live with all the farts from the world!

Densie

When I was little me and my dad would say "Did you hear that toad?" when one of us farted, so I really thought that toads lived up your butt. One day at preschool I farted and was like, "Did you hear that TOAD??!!" Everyone laughed at me after that, but now it's pretty funny. At least I think so. :(

Diggerbee

At 6 yrs old, my prankster of a daughter made the smelliest, lactose intolerant fart you could imagine,
right in the middle of a party. She wanted to "share" the moment, so she yelled, "does anyone smell fire"? Natural instincts made everyone take a huge sniff to smell the smoke, only to find out what she let out. Gross!

Anon

i believed that if you farted too much in a room and you were to light a flame your house would blow up

the nuclear fart

When I was about 6 I used to believe that clouds were a collection of everyone's farts around the world and that when people farted too much this would cause big rain clouds to form and then it would rain. For a few years I remember being terrified of rain because I believed it to be "fart water" and I would always cry and have my dad carry me under his umbrella so I wouldn't get any on me. - I was a very strange child.

The Rainmaker

I believed that when you farted, bubbles came out from your bum. And I couldn't figure out how come there were never any just hanging around. And then one day I figured it out! The bubbles were popping on our clothes (underwear), of course! It made total sense.

Sar

I used to beleive that if you farted while running
you would run faster, So when i raced my friends
i always tried to fart.

Yvona balsacke

My dad used to tell me that if I farted a really stinky fart that it would burn a hole in my underwear...I used to check every time.

some fool

My father used to tell my brother that if he breathed in my father's farts, that it would make my brother grow. So when my father would cut one, my brother would run up and take big, long whiffs. Cracked dad up.

Anon

I was scared to fart outdoors in the winter when I was a kid (OK, I'm still a little self-conscious about it). When you are in the cold you can see your breath and steam comes out of your mouth. I figured the same principle applies to flatulence. How embarrassing would it be to fart outdoors in the cold and have someone see steam coming out of your butt and know that you farted?

MrVengeance