I thought that farts were your butt screaming to not be sat on. Well, my uncle Morty was sitting beside me on my couch, watching telivision. He let a huge, loud one rip. We had been sitting for a while. "Uncle Morty your butt is upset from being sat on!" I yelled and when he got up, i kissed and patted his bum to make it all better!

Anon

when i was little my parents taught me to say "pardon me" when i farted. i didn't really understand, so i came up with my own logical saying. "fart on me"

maggie

When i was about 5, my mom farted in front of me (as she always does) and jokingly said "bad dog" to our dog under the table, as if it was him who farted. but i thought she was saying it because my dog somehow had the power to make her fart and from then on whenever i had to fart i'd go and yell at Rover.

gina

When my daughter was really little, 3 or so, she was strapped into her car seat in the back of our SUV. I noticed she was having a pretty bad case of gas and I asked aloud, "Where is all your gas coming from?" Never expecting an answer I just about fell over when a tiny voice from the rear answered, "I dunno. The gas station?"

Tracy

When I was about 7, I would always hang out at my cousins house on the weekends, and (Im not sure why) I belived that (little) Chinese people lived in my butt. Whenever I farted, I would say,"Hey! there shooting fireworks again! I wish I could see them!"

Rose

When I was a little kid I beleived that in order for no one to know that I farted, I had to smell it all before any else did. So after I farted I go snffing up all the scent I could find, needless to say, I could never get to all of it quick enough...someone always got the last little bit that I missed!

Matt

when i was a kid i thought that when you farted you lost air. So whenever i farted i ran around gasping for air

me

When he was little, my dad used to think that farts were laughing gas; because whenever you farted, people laughed!

Autumn

I was about 6 and thought my family invented the fart because I never heard anyone outside my family do it.

Bob

My brother used to believe that if he farted into a plastic easter egg, then closed it fast enough, he could store the smell and use it as a stink bomb in the future.

ian's sister

When my sister and I where little we would get in bed with my mom when my dad would leave for work at 2am. Every time we would get in bed she would tell us if we farted in bed our feet would turn brown. I believed this for many years. Now I have a son of my own Im going to tell him the same thing because its so funny.

Tracy

When I was younger, I used to believe if you caught all your farts in a jar and then closed the lid real tight after and then caught a lightning bug in the same jar, that when the lightning bug lit up it would cause the fart gas to blow up.

Carly

When I was about six years old, my mother told my little brother, two years younger than me, that girls are "made of sugar and spice and everything nice." This made my little brother think that we girls never did things like pass gas. One day, when we were playing outside, I accidentally let one rip, and he came to the conclusion that I was in fact a boy dressed as a girl. He then referred to me as his big brother for the next three years.

Eileen

A friend of mine used to believe that girls' farts somehow smelled "sweet, like flowers." I guess he took the whole "sugar and spice" thing a bit too literally. Long story short, he got me to fart in his face to prove it and was swiftly proven wrong.

The really strange thing? We were 14 at the time.

Jessica

When I was about 5 I told my family that I felt bad for God - Since farts are hot air and hot air rises - God must live with all the farts from the world!

Densie

When I was little me and my dad would say "Did you hear that toad?" when one of us farted, so I really thought that toads lived up your butt. One day at preschool I farted and was like, "Did you hear that TOAD??!!" Everyone laughed at me after that, but now it's pretty funny. At least I think so. :(

Diggerbee

At 6 yrs old, my prankster of a daughter made the smelliest, lactose intolerant fart you could imagine,
right in the middle of a party. She wanted to "share" the moment, so she yelled, "does anyone smell fire"? Natural instincts made everyone take a huge sniff to smell the smoke, only to find out what she let out. Gross!

Anon

My brother once told me that if you burp and fart at the same time, you'd explode

Aubrey

When I was about 6 I used to believe that clouds were a collection of everyone's farts around the world and that when people farted too much this would cause big rain clouds to form and then it would rain. For a few years I remember being terrified of rain because I believed it to be "fart water" and I would always cry and have my dad carry me under his umbrella so I wouldn't get any on me. - I was a very strange child.

The Rainmaker

I used to believe that when I farted, i could smell up all the stench before anyone else could smell it.

Tim