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farting

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When I was about 7, I would always hang out at my cousins house on the weekends, and (Im not sure why) I belived that (little) Chinese people lived in my butt. Whenever I farted, I would say,"Hey! there shooting fireworks again! I wish I could see them!"

Rose
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When I was younger, I used to believe if you caught all your farts in a jar and then closed the lid real tight after and then caught a lightning bug in the same jar, that when the lightning bug lit up it would cause the fart gas to blow up.

Carly
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When I was about six years old, my mother told my little brother, two years younger than me, that girls are "made of sugar and spice and everything nice." This made my little brother think that we girls never did things like pass gas. One day, when we were playing outside, I accidentally let one rip, and he came to the conclusion that I was in fact a boy dressed as a girl. He then referred to me as his big brother for the next three years.

Eileen
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A friend of mine used to believe that girls' farts somehow smelled "sweet, like flowers." I guess he took the whole "sugar and spice" thing a bit too literally. Long story short, he got me to fart in his face to prove it and was swiftly proven wrong.

The really strange thing? We were 14 at the time.

Jessica
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When I was about 5 I told my family that I felt bad for God - Since farts are hot air and hot air rises - God must live with all the farts from the world!

Densie
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When I was little me and my dad would say "Did you hear that toad?" when one of us farted, so I really thought that toads lived up your butt. One day at preschool I farted and was like, "Did you hear that TOAD??!!" Everyone laughed at me after that, but now it's pretty funny. At least I think so. :(

Diggerbee
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At 6 yrs old, my prankster of a daughter made the smelliest, lactose intolerant fart you could imagine,
right in the middle of a party. She wanted to "share" the moment, so she yelled, "does anyone smell fire"? Natural instincts made everyone take a huge sniff to smell the smoke, only to find out what she let out. Gross!

Anon
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i believed that if you farted too much in a room and you were to light a flame your house would blow up

the nuclear fart
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When I was about 6 I used to believe that clouds were a collection of everyone's farts around the world and that when people farted too much this would cause big rain clouds to form and then it would rain. For a few years I remember being terrified of rain because I believed it to be "fart water" and I would always cry and have my dad carry me under his umbrella so I wouldn't get any on me. - I was a very strange child.

The Rainmaker
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I believed that when you farted, bubbles came out from your bum. And I couldn't figure out how come there were never any just hanging around. And then one day I figured it out! The bubbles were popping on our clothes (underwear), of course! It made total sense.

Sar
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My dad used to tell me that if I farted a really stinky fart that it would burn a hole in my underwear...I used to check every time.

some fool
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My father used to tell my brother that if he breathed in my father's farts, that it would make my brother grow. So when my father would cut one, my brother would run up and take big, long whiffs. Cracked dad up.

Anon
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WHEN I WAS YOUNG, MY FATHER RIPPED A BIG ONE AND EXCLAIMED, "OH! SOMEONE MUST BE PRAYING FOR ME. AN EVIL SPIRIT JUST LEFT MY BODY!" FROM THEN ON (FOR A LITTLE WHILE)I BELIEVED A FART WAS THE STINKY RESULT OF DIVINE INTERVENTION.

JACK THE RIPPER'S SON
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I was scared to fart outdoors in the winter when I was a kid (OK, I'm still a little self-conscious about it). When you are in the cold you can see your breath and steam comes out of your mouth. I figured the same principle applies to flatulence. How embarrassing would it be to fart outdoors in the cold and have someone see steam coming out of your butt and know that you farted?

MrVengeance
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i was told in first grade that when you farted green gass or bubbles come out....so for months i tried to catch a peek when i farted....but i always missed. it came out before i got a look. i still haven't seen what a fart looks like, but adult reasoning tells me that there would be a green coloring to my underwear if this were so.

shane
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My Granpa told me if i would fart and talk at the same time i would die. i remember the first time that happened and it scared me pretty bad.

Anon
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When I was young I believed that if you farted when it was cold outside smoke would come out of your bootie the same way it does mouth. So when I would have to fart and I was waiting for the school bus I would hold it until I was sure that no cars were coming by so that no one would no that I pooted.

ROXY
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i used to believe that when you farted you carried an invisible bubble attached to your butt and that is why the smell seemed to follow you around :)

beth
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My mom told me if you farted in bed your feet would turn brown.

Tracy
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I used to think when i was a little kid that when you felt wind in your face the person in front of you farted really bad

bobert
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