I used to believe that my mom couldn't fart..For years you'd hear or smell something, and we'd immediately say "DaD! Stop being so disgusting" and he's just smile. Until one day it happend again, and the standard procedure ensued, and he gave us the most ghastly look, thats when we realised that it was mom, cos she had a smirk the size of Africa on her face...

razz

I had heard the term "having gas pains", but didn't know that the "gas" was actually farts. One day in the fourth grade I was having a lot of stomach aching and I got up in class and announced to my teacher, "I think I'm having gas pains!". She looked absolutely disgusted and all the kids were laughing. My teacher then yelled back, "Well go to the bathroom then! What are you tellin' me for?!" After I found out what that meant, I just wanted to die!

S.L.

My grandmother told my father when he was young that whenever you farted, a "pooter tail" came out of your butt, which was what made the sound. He would back up to a mirror and try to see the pooter tail for years! He told me this when I was young enough to believe in it (and not realize that his mother was messing with him), so I started doing it! I never saw the pooter tail either, but I always imagined it to be a long, skinny flesh colored tube with an orchid at the end of it. The tradition continues!

tiny_brown_bird

I remeber when i was young my nana used to say that when you farted you were letting some of your soul escape. So i used to hold it in until i got really bad cramps. Needless to say i stopped believing when i was rushed into hospital.

Anon

I worked with a guy who thought that farts were microscopic pieces of poo and he was afraid he would get sick if he breathed them. He was 23!

Laughed in his face

When I was little my mother told me that if I said "excuse me" after I farted it wouldn't smell. I believed her and I still sometimes catch myself saying excuse me after farting hoping that no one will notice the smell.

Vyki

When I was little i misheard the famous lines from Romeo and Juliett. I thought she was saying "Romeo, Romeo where fart thou Romeo." I was confused and thought he just had really bad gas.

Annikka

When I was little my mom told me if you dont fart then your a robot and she never farted and im like MY MOMS A ROBOT!!!

chelsea

When I was younger my Dad used to tell my if I farted too much my ass would fall off, so I tried not to fart and I ran up to him a few week later telling him it had fallen off when I got in the bath.

Anon

I used to believe that parents were magic and had special powers.
My parents told my brother and I that they could see green smoke coming from our bottoms, thats how they knew we had farted! It didnt occur to me that they might have actually used thier noses!!

Jaquie

I thought that you could capture a fart in a jar - Sound and all. The procedure was that you fart in the jar and put the lid on as quickly as possible. A fart in a jar could last as long as a week. As the week went by the fart degraded

C S Wagon

When I was young I used to believe that saying "excuse me" after passing gas made the smell go away so I would say it repeatedly after farting with the hope that no one would smell it before the words made it go away.

Anon

i used to believe that if you farted out of your mouth, you'd die.

John Deere

I truly believed my dad had a Magic Finger. Every time I pulled it, he farted. It wasn't until I was about 8 that I figured out it was more of a timing thing.

Joe

I used to believe if you fart hard enough you can fly

Bob

My old baby-sitter oddly named farts 'churchies'. She mentioned this several times and, not knowing the correct name was fart, believed that only people who didn't attend church had bad gas.

Marshmello Da Strawberry Cow

I used to think farting was actually a semi transparent light brownish gas or that mustard gas was the same thing. Sort of like smoking passing through your jeans whenever it happens. Also thought it was poisonous for a while.

Anon

While my husband and I were still dating, he asked me this, with a completely serious look on his face: "Do girls fart?" I couldn't stop laughing!

Anon

My babysitter told me that if you swallowed your gum, the next time you pooted, a bubble would come out of your butt.

Anon.

I used to believe that if you smelled a boy's fart, you'd die of a heart attack in exactly 40 seconds. God only knows why....

Kathryn