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farting

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I used to believe that my mom couldn't fart..For years you'd hear or smell something, and we'd immediately say "DaD! Stop being so disgusting" and he's just smile. Until one day it happend again, and the standard procedure ensued, and he gave us the most ghastly look, thats when we realised that it was mom, cos she had a smirk the size of Africa on her face...

razz
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My dad told me when I was little that when you were sick you needed to fart to get the germs and posions out. If you didn't you would stay sick until you did.

Still like a child
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My grandmother told my father when he was young that whenever you farted, a "pooter tail" came out of your butt, which was what made the sound. He would back up to a mirror and try to see the pooter tail for years! He told me this when I was young enough to believe in it (and not realize that his mother was messing with him), so I started doing it! I never saw the pooter tail either, but I always imagined it to be a long, skinny flesh colored tube with an orchid at the end of it. The tradition continues!

tiny_brown_bird
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I used to believe gas stations were places where people would go to let out their farts if they were embarassed to do it any place else =x

Anon
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I used to believe that parents were magic and had special powers.
My parents told my brother and I that they could see green smoke coming from our bottoms, thats how they knew we had farted! It didnt occur to me that they might have actually used thier noses!!

Jaquie
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When I was little my mother told me that if I said "excuse me" after I farted it wouldn't smell. I believed her and I still sometimes catch myself saying excuse me after farting hoping that no one will notice the smell.

Vyki
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I thought that you could capture a fart in a jar - Sound and all. The procedure was that you fart in the jar and put the lid on as quickly as possible. A fart in a jar could last as long as a week. As the week went by the fart degraded

C S Wagon
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I used to think farting was actually a semi transparent light brownish gas or that mustard gas was the same thing. Sort of like smoking passing through your jeans whenever it happens. Also thought it was poisonous for a while.

Anon
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I used to believe that if you smelled a boy's fart, you'd die of a heart attack in exactly 40 seconds. God only knows why....

Kathryn
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I truly believed my dad had a Magic Finger. Every time I pulled it, he farted. It wasn't until I was about 8 that I figured out it was more of a timing thing.

Joe
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I used to believe if you fart hard enough you can fly

Bob
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My old baby-sitter oddly named farts 'churchies'. She mentioned this several times and, not knowing the correct name was fart, believed that only people who didn't attend church had bad gas.

Marshmello Da Strawberry Cow
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When I was young I used to believe that saying "excuse me" after passing gas made the smell go away so I would say it repeatedly after farting with the hope that no one would smell it before the words made it go away.

Anon
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I used to think they if you farted with you pants on, the fart would stay in my pants and go back up your butt, and you'd never stop farting. So I used to pull down my pants to fart.. I stopped because it got embarrassing having to run and hide at school!

Anon
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My babysitter told me that if you swallowed your gum, the next time you pooted, a bubble would come out of your butt.

Anon.
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I used to believe that if you had to fart and held it in too long that it would cause you to blow up

Anon
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I was always a quizzical kid. Back in the mid 1970's, I was asking what the word "leisure" was. My sister, who was getting tired of all of my questions, told me that "leisure" meant "fart". Of course my next question was why would anybody want to wear a "fart suit". Even today when certain body functions are churnning, I say that I "leisured".

Aaron
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When my daughter was two, she passed gas, and with this surprised look on her face, announced "My bottom burped"!

Anon
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when i was a little girl, i beleived that women didnt have bums, because i never heard my mom fart.

Anon
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One of my elementary school mates once told me that if you burped and farted at the same time, you would die.

It was hard to test, and I was afraid to, but once the feat actually occurred and I didn't die, I figured it must've been because it wasn't _exactly_ the same moment.

McAlpine
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