When i was little i believed that pads were for moms and dads. Whenever they would go to work they would put one on so that they could pee their pants (since they didn't have a bathroom break like we did at school) and nobody would know.

bathroom break please

When I was 8, my mother was very pregnant with my sister. Whenever she went to the bathroom, I'd stand guard by the door because I used to believe the baby might fall into the potty and I'd have to rescue it.

Sara

I thought that since boys sat down when they went #2 and stood up when they went #1, and since girls sat down for #1, they had to poo standing up because it just all made sense when I was little.

Matt

When I was around 6, I noticed my mother's friend had slacks with a side zipper, so I thought that women somehow peed out the side of their leg.

Ross

When I was little, I used to take off all my clothes and threw them as far away from the toilet as I could before i pooed. For some reason I believed that if I left my clothes on while taking a dump, they would become contaminated and stinky. To this day I still don't know what gave me that idea!

me!!!

once, when very young, i walked in on my dad peeing. for a few years later, I insisted that he had been peeing out of his thumb!

elmel

When I was 7 I had a bit of a bed wetting problem so the doctor gave my parents a contraption that consisted of a foil sheet that lay under my bed sheet and a box that buzzed if the sheet got wet. Now the buzzing box probably had a battery but I thought it ran on electricity and I knew that electricity and water DID NOT mix. I was petrified that when I wet the bed I'd be electricuted. Whatever problem I had that made me a bed wetter was quickly replaced by the fear of being killed by my Buzzer in the middle of the night.

Claire UK

My grandfather once told me that you could not pee and poop at the same time, and if you did, you would explode. So for the next 10 years I never let any poop out while I was peeing. Until one day i figured what the heck, and did both at once. It emptied me out in half the time. I was so happy :)

Matt Scheeren

As a child I believed that poo's were called "specials" as my mum used to encourage me when potty training to do a "Special One".
Consequently, members of my family have a real problem if someone tells us how "special" they think we are, or on "special occasions". Never ceases to make us all smile (amusement or embarrassment? Who knows???)

fuzzy

When I was little, I took a bath and pooped in there. And I ran around the tub screaming, creating a whirlpool and the poop (to me)looked like it was chasing me.

M.B.N.

I used to take baths with my older brother. He would always splash the water around near his crotch and say he was "making a pie". He had my mom, sister, and me all believing that he had a pleasant imagination. He was actually peeing in the tub.

Just a girl

When I was a girl the British princesses Anne and Elizabeth were about my own age. I thought they were so lucky because they never had to go to the bathroom the way we mortals did.

anon

When I was about 5, I asked my Mum where ladies peed from, since they had no winkle. She (obviously not wishing to confuse my poor little brain) told me that they peed out of their bums. It was my third girlfriend that told me otherwise. When I was 20.

Wooders

my neice believes that if she's trying to poo and can't that it's sleeping! "I'll try later mummy he's gone asleep!" when she does go he's woken up and gone swimming!! she's 2 and a half.

rebecca

When I was very young (about 3 or 4 years old) I was a big fan of tomatoe sauce / ketchup. Back then, all tomatoe sauces came in glass bottles that you had to bang the bottom of to get the sauce out of.
It seemed logical to me then that these same physics should apply to the human body, so when ever I went to the toilet to do poohs I would sit there banging myself on the head with my hand trying, literally, to knock the s**t out of myself.

ADROiT

When I was 5, my 7 year old brother told me that 'penis'meant pee.The next day at kindergarden I raised my hand and said to the teacher "can I go to the bathroom?My penis is about to burst out of me." Everybody laughed at me. Later I asked my mother what penis mean.t and she told me the correct defination. I laugh about it even now.

Duck y

When I was 14 I had my appendix removed, I remember the doctor coming up to my bed and asking me if I have any pain when I passed water, immediately my mind flashed up the image of me passing a sink with the taps running, I thought it was a completely stupid question to ask, after all, how can walking past water cause pain? and so responded with a no.

Lisa-Dionne

After a long car trip when I was about six, my older sister and I both had to pee quite badly and raced to our bathroom. She told me that if I peed before her the water would turn to acid and burn her, so she had to go first. I believed her and let her go while I danced around in front of the door. It didn't occur to me until a few days later that pee was pee, no matter whose it was.

tinklebell

One x-mass eve my brother and I were taking a bath together.This time he had crapped in the tub. Due to all of the bubbles It took some time for me to notice. Until it brushed me on my leg. I let out an awful scream and began crying hysterically. My mom and her friends rushed in to see what all the ruckus was. To make things better she dumped out her egg nog and retrieved "the log" with her Santa Claus mug.(the kind that is a molded 3-d
head shot of Santa).All of us have seen them........

Due to this my brother and I used to think all Santa mugs were "log retrievers" And would declair so openly at a strangers house who to had santa mugs.

Well, due to the immense joy that the incident brought to my brother, he made it a regular habit. To make me feel better she allowed the Santa mug to sit by the tub for almost a year as my "heroic retriever".

When my mother died I inherited the entire set of Santa mugs. We cannot figure out which one was my "hero". If I ever serve you egg nog in a Santa mug, it means a really do not like you! :)

~Robert Sean Gibson

Robert Sean Gibson

When I was about 4 years old, I noticed that my wee sometimes came out different colours: clear and yellow. Since I knew that I drink three types of drink (Orange, Lemon and Blackcurrant squash), it made sense that clear was Lemon and yellow was Orange... the trouble is, I was completely miffed as to where the pints of blackcurrant I drank disappeared to. Did they come out the other end? Did they get held inside... and if they did, what then? Would I explode or overflow. It was all quite harrowing for a confused little 4 year old.

Confused