When I was around 6, I noticed my mother's friend had slacks with a side zipper, so I thought that women somehow peed out the side of their leg.

Ross

When I was about 4 years old I used to believe that light colored foods (like popcorn, mashed potatoes) were "processed" into urine (because it was light colored) and dark colored foods were "processed" into poop (because it was darker). I didn't think solids or liquids had anything to do with it, it was all based on color.

Tracie

When I was about 5, I asked my Mum where ladies peed from, since they had no winkle. She (obviously not wishing to confuse my poor little brain) told me that they peed out of their bums. It was my third girlfriend that told me otherwise. When I was 20.

Wooders

When I was 14 I had my appendix removed, I remember the doctor coming up to my bed and asking me if I have any pain when I passed water, immediately my mind flashed up the image of me passing a sink with the taps running, I thought it was a completely stupid question to ask, after all, how can walking past water cause pain? and so responded with a no.

Lisa-Dionne

i used to believe that everyone had different colored pee. mine just happened to be yellow.

rick

When I was in nursery school (pre-k), we would often take class walks around the neighborhood (to the park, "big" schools, etc.) Whenever there was dog poop on the sidewalk, the teachers would yell "single file! single file!" so we would stop holding hands and could clear the dog poop. For at least 2 years after that, I thought "single file" meant dog poop, and I would shout it out, like the teachers, whenever I saw some.

Alecx

sometimes my little brother would get constipated, so my Nan used to tell him to 'concentrate' when he was on the loo, to encourage him to go. I always thought that 'concentrate' was a posh word for having a poo, and still have to stop myself from giggling when a colleague says " Ssh; I'm concentrating."

Kirsti

As a little girl, I thought I knew the reason for separate girls' and boys' public bathrooms. I thought that both pee and poo must be fundamentally different in girls and boys. I thought the kind of toilets without tanks like I often encountered in girls' bathrooms were capable only of handling girls' excretions, and that what boys do wouldn't flush down them. Though I'd never seen what was in boys' public restrooms, I assumed there was a counterpart there that similarly couldn't flush what came out of girls. I assumed that only toilets with tanks on top, like the ones at home, were equipped to handle all four kinds of excretions. One day in Sunday school the teacher told us that the girls' room was out of order, and boys and girls would have to take separate turns using the boys' room. As fate would have it, I was pretty sure I'd have to poop before going home. I began to panic, thinking I'd surely make a mess in a boys' potty that wouldn't flush down. Years later I learned that panic and nervousness can cause diarrhea, and that surely must explain what happened next. While nervously sitting on a boys' potty I had my earliest experience I can remember with a really runny waterry stool. But what did I think at the time? I thought what I'd done must be a boy-type poo. Being in Church, I assumed that God had provided for me, making me for once do a boy poop, so it would flush down the boys' potty!

Mercedes

I would observe my baby sister a whole bunch when I was young. (5). I noticed that every few hours she'd make a very intense face, and turn red. I was horrified, thinking that one day she'd turn into the devil!!

Turned out, she was just having a crap.

mg

When I was about 5, I walked into the barn and caught my grandma squatting to pee. From the angle, it looked like it was coming from her butt. For years after that, I thought that girls peed out their butts. My sister had a doll that was supposed to "wet". This doll had a tiny hole above it's left buttock for that purpose. So, I believed that all girls had a hole above their left buttock for peeing.

confused kid

When I was a nappie-wearing baby, I had a tendency to sit on my bum after pooing, causing the excrement to get plastered all over my bum. My mother, unfazed by the overwhelming disgustingness of having to change me, just called my poohs "pancakes". This caused me to believe that "pancake" was the correct term for poo. Imagine my surprise when I learned that my best friend's mother was making pancakes in the kitchen. I sort of lost my appetite.

Anon

I used to think that little people in my penis had crayons and colored my pee yellow.

Ryan

once, when i was about 5, i wasn't feeling well and told my mum. she gave me a big hug and was about to go get the thermometer when i puked all over her shoes. I missed the next few days of school, and when my best friend asked me why i had been out i told her the whole scenario. she said that vomit is really poop and that if you have to poop and somebody hugs you just above the middle, it will come out your butt, but if they hugged you below the middle the contents of your intestines would come up and you would barf.this also led me to belive that if someone poked me right on my belly button that i would vomit and poop at the same time.

tigerlily

i used to spend loads of time in the garden of my grandparents house when i was little (5yrs old). When i had to go to the bathroom i would get very scared of their big old house because it seemed huge, especially if i was the only one in it. my grandparents would tell me that if i had to go pee or poo, that i should just run into the washroom and go quickly and run back out.i was always too scared but i didnt want to tell them. cleverly i found what i thought was an outdoor toilet. it was the window well to the neighbour's basement window. I would poo there all the time, thinking nobody would ever notice...but it was a window after all.

Zo

I was told that God watches us all the time. So everytime I went to the bathroom, I folded my hands and said: “Dear God, I need to pee/poo. Could you please look away?”
And when I was done, I did the same, this time saying: “Dear God, I'm done. You can look again.”

A child's thoughts are filled with innocence, not stupidity, although some people seem to think this.

someone

When I was little I walked into the bathroom after my grandpa took a dump without flushing the toilet. In the toilet was something that resembled a white turd (it must have been crumpled toilet paper but hey, I was young). From that time on I thought that old peoples poo was white in much the same way their hair was white.

Anon

I used to think that the penis got its name because you pee out of it, so I thought that by that same token your but should be called your poonis, because you poo out of it. This is a highly common childhood belief.

Joey Schwartzman

When I was very small, my mom taught me to say, "I have to go to the ladies room" instead of something like "I have to wee-wee" or other childish phrases. She was very proud of herself until one day when I had a bladder infection, I blurted out (in public of course), "Mom! MY LADIES ROOM BURNS!"

Anon

When my brother was little, he believed that girls peed out of their boobs.

Emily

The first time I ever learned the word "diarrhea", it was in a context that didn't make the specific meaning clear. Instead I got the idea that diarrhea meant any poop. I thought I'd learned the "grown up" term for poop, and started saying "I have diarrhea" any time I needed to poop. After a while, my mother got concerned and took me to the doctor. I don't remember what, if anything, was resolved there. And it seems it must have been years later that my confusion finally got cleared up as to what exactly diarrhea is.

Carmen