When my adult son was young, he would never open the front door for me unless I could prove that I wasn't wearing a mask that looked identical to his Mum!

rozy

My parents had this heart-shaped plastic picture frame. They never put their own picture in it, so it still had the picture of a little girl that came in it. They thought it was funny to tell me that little girl was their first daughter, Debbie, who they got rid of because she was bad.
Needless to say, I was very well-behaved.

Kendra

When I was 11, I used to believe that the way to tell how old your friend's mother was, was to add up the ages of all her children and add that figure to 25 (all mothers had their first child at 25). I was so confused because some of these mothers (by my warped logic) were 36 (if they had one child) and some were almost 100 years old (if they had loads of kids). I could not work out how my best friend's mother still looked 25, but by my own special system was actually 92.

Nikki

When I was a little girl my dad told me that it wasn't 'air' in the bubbles of bubble wrap, but actually a very poisonous gas. He said if I continued to pop the bubbles, I would destroy the ozone layer and contaminate the oxygen in the world, thus killing the entire world population. It was only a few years ago that I realized he just hated the "popping" sounds and that it actually oxygen in the bubbles.

Kirsty

I think I am a relatively normal adult, but when I was five I used to believe that the goal of parents was to kill their kids. I remember once that I interrupted my father and he put his hand around my neck to quiet me down. I remember thinking, "okay this is it." Eventually, he let go and I thought to myself, "well, he won't do it now, there would be too many witnesses."

Kevin

I believed that since my grandparents retired and built a house in Florida, they were very rich. In fact, they even had their initials engraved on the water faucet handles..."H"(Herb) and "C"(Clara).

Anon

I used to wonder what kind of insect "uncles" were named after.
I had "Ants" figured out.

Kimberly in AZ

When I was little, my mom had taken a picture of my me and my dad in a pool with me falling into his arms because he had thrown me up. Everytime I saw this picture my dad would tell me this was the day they got me, I was a monkey that fell out of the tree, and luckily they caught me and decided to keep me. Until I was about 7 or 8 I believed them and always wondered why I wasn't growing a tail.

Eliza

I used to believe that all godfathers were Italian.

Madi

I used to think that one day, my family would suddenly become broke, and we would have nowhere to live or nothing to eat. So, every morning on my way out the front door, I would pick some flower petals from our front yard as a "back-up food supply. I think I was in preschool.

Samantha

This isn't one from my but from my daughter who's now 12.
6years ago i gave birth to a son. he was premature and had to be kept in an incubator for a few weeks. one day my husband brought in my six year old daughter to see him. she then went home and told everyone at school " my Mummy's put my brother Ben in a greenhouse to help him grow."
bless.

MJ

I knew from a very early age that I was adopted, but my parents always treated it like it was no big deal. So, I assumed that everyone was adopted. When I got to kindergarten, I thought my best friend was a total freak because her mom and dad had given birth to her. Why would anyone keep their own kid??

Amanda

When I was 5 my step-mother had a baby. I was told that I had a half-sister. I thought they meant half girl and half boy.

Anon

My brother and I thought that Grandma lived at the airport because that's where we always went to get her. Then when we were tired of her, we took her back.

Susan

My sister once told me that my parents went to a cabbage patch and found me next to a rock. She told me the only reason they picked me was because the cabbage next to me was rotten so they had no choice. For years I thought it was true and that my parents resented me for not being ripe cabbage. Every time my parents made cabbage I would get really upset and they didn't know why. They thought it was because I didn't like eating cabbage and it wasn't until years later that they connected the dots and realized why I freaked out over cabbage.

Jocelyn

While groing up, my dad told me I had previously been a dog. He took me to the doctor, he ave me a shot and I became a little boy. The messed up thing about it was, I am adopted. So when he told this story to a 5 year old, I really believed it! I think I was around 8 when I learned the truth. I still want to smack my dad in the back of the head to this day...

Spot - The boy dog

I used to think that when I was in the bathroom my parents would take off their skin and just sit around as skelletons. This only slightly disturbed me, but never affected how long I stayed in there. I also never considered how they knew when I was about to come out and to put their skin back on. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who had similar thoughts

the_only_nighthawk

When my mom needed to stop at a store, my dad would just let her go in and we would all wait in the car. My dad hated the fact that we were always really loud, so he told us that all the people walking around were actually bears in people costumes, and if we weren't totally quiet, the bears would come eat us. Of course while we are in the back covering our mouths, being dead silent...my dad was sleeping.

Elise G.

I feel really stupid now.....but when I was in the second grade, my mom had been in the hospital so many times and came home with a baby every time. This time my father was in the hospital and I thought for sure he was going to bring home yet another baby.

Angie

my brother and sister (6 and 7 years older than I) convinced me at age 5 that I was an insta-baby. they said that mom had gone to Brookshires (a local grocery store) and gotten me out of the gumball machine. They went into great detail telling me how she put me in the bathtub and added water to make me. Then they told me that she had forgotten to add water to the insta-brain and it fell out. Needless to say, they told me that I would never know as much as them because I had no brain. Being the impressionable child I was, I used to say " It's not my fault! I don't have a brain! Carrie and Rick told me!"

TxCherub113