I used to believe I had 2 sets of parents. The nice ones and the mean ones. They would hide in their closet and switch out occasionally.

Matthew

I used to believe that if your parents grounded you they would actually pound you into the ground, so one day my mother told my sister she was grounded and I cried because I didn't want my sister to be in the ground for a week

Courtney

When I was a small Child (about 3 or 4) my dad was in the navy. All I knew about the navy was that sailors would go out on ships in the ocean. To me the only thing that made since for them to do was to shoot sharks, since to me sharks were scary and served no purpose at all, other than eat people. So I would imagine my dad out at see on his ship shooting sharks.

Adam

I thought my mum was Aretha Franklin.

We are white.

But, she had a beehive like her, and talked about make up, which, of course is in the song
'I say a little prayer'

Debbie, Manchester, UK

Thank Mork and Mindy and my very eccentric father, but I was a firm believer that my mom (who was from another country) and my dad (because he said he was) were aliens. We heard the word alien a lot around the house, so it was quite possible that our parents were aliens and my dad hatched my mom. So I concluded that my mom came from the egg, like Mork. My dad hatched her and loved her, like Mindy loved Mork, and one day we were all going to be picked up while we were driving because the moon was always following us. So it had to be waiting for us to stop so it could pick us up. I mean obvious right?

Egg child from Na-noo-nanoo

I used to believe that by making my parents promise (every night) to see me in the morning i wouldn'tr be killed by them in my sleep. I believed that they would stab me during the night, or poison me with cooked apples. I still don't eat cooked apples.

Anon

When I was little I thought that parents had kids just so they could eat them. I remember sitting in the car once as my mom talked to one of her friends and I swore they were talking about ways to cook me.

EmStrange

Waking my mum up is never a good idea, so when my dad told my sister and I that the Incredible Hulk had broken into our house looking for a warm bed only to wake up my mum and be chased out of town, not only did we believe him but we wouldn't talk to our mum as she'd robbed us of our chance to meet him!

CFC 4 Life

I used to think my family was really a family of bears from another planet who wore people disguises to fool me. I swore that I had to take naps during the day so they could have their secret bear meetings and take off their suits for a while. The low muffled voices through my closed bedroom door was my 'proof'.

Anon

When I was very young I was sitting at the table with my grandmother and I asked her "Why do you and grandpa have such wrinkly faces." At the time I thought she was being serious when she calmly replied. "From yelling at kids."

Sammy

I used to believe that when i got older my nan would become my mum.Because she was my mum's mother, she would have to become mine at some point,as well.

Kim

Around the early 1960s, when I was 5 or 6 years old, my Uncle J.C. would come to visit my grandmother, who was living with us at the time. J.C. was a master sergeant in the Army and had no hair. Because President Eisenhower had been in the Army and had no hair, and looked like my mom's side of the family a little bit around the lips, I got the idea that President Eisenhower was somehow related to our family. I never mentioned this to my mother, since nobody else brought it up and I assumed it was some kind of big secret.

Rob

My dad was a big rugby player, I grew up surrounded by big men and their families. For some reason I thought skinny men couldn't be dads.

abi rose

When I was about 4 or 5 years old, my mom, and I would go to the grocery store. On the way home in the car, I would sometimes wonder if the woman driving the car was really my mom or a "stranger" who just looked like my mom but was actually kidnapping me.

Anon

For years now I have been telling my daughter (now 11) that the hospital sends every new mother home with a book about how to embarrass their kids. She said she asked her Dad and he didn't know anything about it. "Of course," I said, "Dads don't get to see the book." She has asked any number of other mothers, some of them total strangers, and they ALL, God bless them, have looked completely serious and told her it's absolutely true!

Bad Mom

My husband's mother died when my son was 5 years old. My husband told him that, "Grandma will be with you where ever you go, watching over you." For the next several weeks, my son would cover up with a towel before taking a bath or undressing and would insist on wearing the towel during his bath. We thought this behavior was quite strange so I asked him what was wrong and he whispered to me, "Grandma's with me and I don't want her to see me."

Michelle

When I was about 6, my brother told me I was adopted and all the pictures of me in the delivery room were really him. He also told me my parents really didn't love me. I actually believed him for several years.

Ali

when I was young I was always asking my mom questions, "Mom, guess what?" or "Mom!" just to get her attention. I said mom so much that finally one day she said she changed her name, and it was no longer mom. I then asked, "whats your new name then?" and she said she wasn't going to tell me! I was horrified and started crying...eventually she told me she changed it back to mom just for me.

Mark

My mother used to say, when I asked her where she had been, "Timbuktu". I honestly believed she went to some magical place called Timbuktu, and I would always get upset she didn't take me with her. Turns out she was just being sarcastic.

Billy Reid

When i was little, aboout 4 years old, my 11 year old brother would terrorize me by telling me he could turn me into a frog using a cereal carton to get me to do his bidding. I would tell him i didn't believe him, but then he would sit me on a chair and start muttering gibberish while waving the box around. I would get hysterical and do whatever he wanted me to.

Alona