I was watching a breakfast show once when I was about 6 and they mentioned the word prostitute..I asked my mum "Whats a prostitute?" and she replied "Its somebody who sells their body" To this day I remember the confusion I felt as I pictured a market stall with people laying out on stands etc selling there body i couldnt work it out ..i mean why would they do that? Wow i really dont wanna be poor when i am older...

Nikki

I used to believe that doctors could not get sick.

Anon

I once believed that work is where adults went to play, like i did in kindergarden. But they didn`t seem to have as much fun as we did. I remember thinking it wasn`t fair that they got paid to play while i was doing it for free.

Patrick

When I was little I once saw the word "stripper" and asked my babysitter what it meant--she said that it was a woman who takes off all her clothes layer by layer, and for the longest time I imagined that strippers wore bulky winter clothing with lots of layers for their routines.

Anon

When I was about 7, I loved anything and everything that had to do with art. Drawing, painting, sculpting, anything. I was convinced that I would become a famous artist when I grew up, but I didn't know what kind. Well, one day I heard the phrase 'con artist' on TV. I didn't know exactly what it meant, but I knew it was some kind of artist.

A few weeks later, my friend and I were playing with her Magic 8 Ball. I asked it if I would become a con artist when I grew up, and it said yes.

The next day in school, the teacher asked us what we were going to be when we grew up. I proudly proclaimed I was going to be a famous con artist. This caused quite a reaction, and it was then that I finally learned the true meaning of the phrase.

Alex

My dad used to play in a band when I was younger and whenever anyone would ask me where my daddy worked I would tell them his job was to go shake his booty.

Jenny

Someone once told me that a hooker was a woman who "sold her body for money." I thought that they must cut off strips of their skin and sell them in big tents like at craft fairs. I never really wondered who would want to buy that.

Heather

When i was little i used to believe that they put food coloring into the ocean because it always looked blue and the water out of the faucet was clear. So when i was asked what i wanted to be when i grew up i told everyone i wanted to be a ocean colorer... no wonder everyone looked at me funny.

Amy Burch

It was when I was in about kindergarten. We were to reply to the question 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' I figured that since an artist was someone who did art, than a racist was a race car driver. After I spoke my words proudly, the teachers and my parents, plus a bewildered audiance started cracking up.

insane and lazy, stupid and crazy

I used to believe that "I rest my case" was what lawyers said when they put their briefcases down on the table in the courtroom.

Anon

After I realized I couldn't be another species when I grew up, I decided I would be a ballet and tap dancer. My dad disappointed me when he told me dancers don't make much money, so I was on the hunt for another job.

One day at a baseball game, the hot dog man came around. He was carrying this HUGE wad of cash. One look and apparently my eyes got huge. I KNEW that's what I wanted to be. I'd never have to worry about money. Plus I loved to yell HOOOOTT DOOOGG!

I told everyone about my dream, but I didn't tell them how much money the hot dog man made because I didn't want anyone to steal my job.

Tigergirl

I used to believe that doctors lived off of medicine until I saw my own doctor at the grocery store buying chicken.

Anon

When I was little Dad worked all day, from eight till seven. When he was home, I didn’t leave his side. Unbeknown to him, I’d listen to his every word- Including all his swearing. One night, he was talking about his boss, Mr. Rickman. He claimed Mr. Rickman had a ‘stick up his arse.’ Dad often went on about people at work who had ‘stick’s up their arses.’ As an impressionable child, I took that literally, and I felt very sorry for all of these people.
A year later, on dad’s birthday, when I was five, Mum took me to his office to surprise him. We crept up to his office stall and Mum whipped out a present. A few of his colleagues started laughing and clapping. They crowded around the stall. I walked behind all of them and said as loudly and matter-of-factly as I could, “Dad, these people don’t have sticks up their arses.” Dad went bright red. He was about to strangle me so I ran off and hid in a bigger office. An older man greeted me and bent down to say hello and introduce himself. A crowd gathered outside the office, waiting to see the reaction. Everything was quiet and in my loud voice I said, “I feel sorry for you.” Mr. Rickman asked why and I responded, “Because that stick up your arse must hurt a lot.” Dad ended up quitting his job!

Jessica Docherty

My dad told me when I was little that he was an accountant, that he did math and worked with numbers. Naturally, I thought he was a 'count' like the count on sesame street. I couldn't understand why he never wore a cape to work.

Caroline

One day at school when I around 5 we learned about "strangers." When I came home I told my mom that I wanted to be a stranger when I grew up so that I could give candy to children.

Jenna

My mom is a doctor, and I remember that one day (I was about 6) she was talking about the fact that she had to perform a prostate exam. I had heard of a job called "prostitution" so I figuered that a prostitute was just someone who did prostate exams, (so basically, it was a fancy word for a doctor.) So, on parents day, (our parents came in and talked about what they did for a living) I wanted to impress my teacher by using big words... You can see where this is going. When it was my turn, I grabbed my mothers hand, marched up in front of the class, and loudly proclaimed "This is my mother, and she is a prostitute!"

Me

When I was about 5, I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I replied with "Police dog", genuinely believing that it was possible. I'm amazed my parents didn't just put me in a box labelled "unwanted" and leave me out in the street.

ill dave

I used to think those guys in red tunics at the Tower of London fed bees, because they were called Bee-Feeders. Those bees would then, of course, make the honey for the queen's morning toast.

imethisguy

When I was about 4, I saw a TV show that went behind the scenes of the musical CATS. I was fascinated by the actors putting on their makeup and wigs; unfortunately, it never showed them taking these things off. This caused me to believe for a few months that they were being permanently changed into creepy cat people, destined to do nothing but perform in CATS for the rest of their lives.

Bombalurina

i used to think that the paparazzi were a group of Italian criminals or spies. i have no idea why??

Anon