when my grandmother would want my mother to telephone her, she'd always say "Give me a ring". I thought she was literally telling my mother to buy her a ring. Since my mother would always agree, I imagined my grandmother to have some HUGE stash of rings omewhere...

amanda

When I was a kid, I would hear adults talking about people who talked with their hands...and I thought that, somehow, people could manipulate and maneuver their hands fast enough to make vocal sounds. The idea really intrigued me.

Tony

When we were little my sister and I believed the word Poo to be a rude word but Pooh as in Winnie-the-Pooh was ok. So everytime we said the word Pooh we had to say "H" afterwards or we were being naughty. We used to have terrible arguments when we accused each other of not saying the H. And the song went: "Winnie the Pooh..H, Winnie the Pooh..H" Our parents must of thought we were mad!

Dean

I was about 10 years old and I used to belive that 'rape' was simply ripping peoples clothes. Imagine the shock for my teacher when for an exercise in English I wrote the sentence "The dog raped the postman". I thought I was being extremely clever.

Slippery Leprechaun

My parents, in an attempt to stimulate my creative impulses, gave me a few boxes full of "stuff" to play with - dress-up clothes, fabric, ribbons, art supplies, interesting toys, beads, you name it. One fabric bit that I had was purple with silver metallic stripes on it. I had seen a TV show recently featuring circus acrobats and thought I'd make myself a skirt with that fabric so I could be an acrobat for Halloween. However, I did not yet know the word for "acrobat". I taught myself how to sew (BADLY) and made an truly awful tiny little miniskirt a week or so later. I ventured into the livingroom to show my parents and visiting grandmother and aunt. My mom, without thinking, said "You look like a prostitute!" She then realized that she probably should not talk about sex workers around her young daughter and would not tell me what it meant. I, therefore, rationalized that "prostitute" was the word for acrobat and went around school the next day telling people - *including my first-grade teacher* - that I wanted to be a prostitute for Halloween!

channa masala

I was travelling with my Dad in the car one day when I saw him throw an apple core out the window. Thinking this was cool I threw my packet of chips out the window as well. Dad then yelled at me about how it was bad to litter, so when I told him I saw him do it, he simply said "it's different, it's biodegradeable". For years afterwards when my sister and I weren't allowed to stay up and watch TV with Mum and Dad I would tell her "It's biodegradeable" as I thought that meant something adults were allowed to do but not kids.

Pat

Believe it or not, I used to believe the word gullible was fake and went off telling everybody it wasn't in the dictionary. It took me years to find out that the saying "gullible isn't in the dictionary" was only a joke, and the people I told it to thought I was just saying that joke rather than really meaning it.

John

When I was a kid, I thought that a pair of panty hose was plural - and that if you were only talking about one leg, it was a panty ho.

Natalie

When I was younger, my older sister convinced me that the words "sock" and "pervert" meant the same thing. You can imagine wha my mom said when I decared "there's a load of dirty pervets in my room".

Biatch.

Marc # 44

I came home from school one day with a notice about Picture Day. I asked my mother if I could get a new pair of shoes. She asked me why I needed new shoes. I said that I wanted to look nice for Picture Day. She said nobody would be able to see my shoes in the picture. I pointed to the flyer and said "Look, it says right here, 'We will be photographing the entire student body.'" I don't think she stopped laughing for a solid two minutes.

Photographic Memory

I couldn't understand why no-one had invented a word for something that isn't big but at the same time isn't small so I used to express the concept with the word "little-big" or "big-little". It was a revelation to me when my mother asked me go to the shops for a medium sliced loaf (of bread) and I discovered that someone somewhere had actually solved the problem that was perplexing me at the time.

Lee, England

when i was about 4 i used to believe that 'on purpose' meant accidentally. whenever i spilled drinks i would shriek, "I did it on purpose, i did it on purpose!!!!"

rosie

I used to think that whenever I heard (or read..) someone say 'Nuff said. I thought that it meant that someone named Nuff said it. I used to think "Wow, this Nuff guy must be really popular and smart!"

BlackDeath

I knew that 'playing hooky' was to skip school, so I logically drew the conclusion that one who plays hooky is called a hooker. Needless to say that when I exclaimed "Lets go be hookers!" to my friends, laughing ensued.

Monkey

When my sister was little she didn't know what a migraine headache was called. I told her they were called "lobotomies." For a while she used to tell people, "Whenever I get a lobotomy, my head hurts."

Alex

When I was about 10, apparently inspired by all the family television I used to watch I suggested that my dad and my brother should have some "father-son bondage time." After a good laugh my parents explained (vaguely) the fine difference between bonding and bondage. I was so shocked that for years I avoided using either word for fear I would use the wrong one.

dawn

I used to read the dictionary. (I was a bookworm as a little kid.) One day I came across "orgy" and wouldn't you know it, I had one of those prudish dictionaries that for some words didn't go into much detail... it said something about wild parties, unrestrained, etc. and so I took it to mean just what the dictionary said - that's what the book's for, right?

O, the look on my poor dad's face when, in a particularly happy unrestrained moment of glee, his 6 yr old daughter shouted out, "let's have an orgy!"

!!!!

Once I was watching Blockbusters and a clue came on, "What T is the name for the limbs of an Octopus", I didn't hesitate in shouting out 'Testicles', my mother found it extremely funny but I was not the wiser, I was only 9 at the time!

Kelly

When my mum used to pick me up from school I was sometimes announce that I was thirsty, my mum would reply she was friday. I'm from glasgow, scotland - saying thirsty in a loose accent sounds like 'thurstay' ergo 'thursday' so this was my mum's way of gently chastising me for poor enunciation, by replying in an equally nonsensical way.

I didn't realise this til I was 15 - I had assumed Friday was just a way of saying you were hungry....

Andrew

When I was little, (about three years old), I used to play with my cousin a lot, who was about six years old at the time. We used to play in the grass and do a lot of somersaults, and came to the conclusion that a backward somersault should be called a winterpepper. (somersault = summersalt, so the opposite would be winterpepper.) It still makes sense...

twilight678