Well, as a child, my mother always taught me that when I can't understand a word, to break it down and I'll understand it (I found out later that she was just much too lazy!). So one fine afternoon, I was sitting on my big blue bean bag chair reading the dictionary, and I came across the word 'prostitute'. I didn't know what it was, so I took my mother's advice and didn't even bother to look at the definition. I just broke down the word.
Pro-something you are good at.
stitute- sounds like subsitute.
So it sounded like a very good subsitute in school.
Oh, the look on the poor principals face when my teacher was absent one day, and he came inside the classroom and asked if the teacher was in. (The substitute was inside the closet getting her coat, so he couldn't see her). And I, wanting to sound smart, said, "No! We have a prostitute! She's in the closet!"
Mind you this was in the late 1950's too.
Oh, did I have some fun...

Mary Jones, Jackson, Mississippi

My last name is Adams, so when I first heard my parents use the expression "Up and at 'em," I thought they were saying "Up and Adams," which was a special expression just for our family. According to my logic, people who weren't named Adams couldn't use that expression, and therefore would just have to say "Get up," or whatever, because they weren't as cool as us. ;) My parents thought that was so funny, they actually started saying "Up and Adams" instead of the real expression, lol.

Anonymous

When I was young, I heard the word "castrated" somewhere, which means to cut off one's penis. At the time, for some reason or another, I thought it meant to abandon something, like "abandon ship!" So, my younger brother and I were sledding one snowy winter evening, and we were headed for a tree... would you like to guess what I shouted?

eagles forever!

I used to truely believe that everyone had it wrong and that "yellow" was actually pronounced "lello". when i was 4 i slapped a girl because she insisted that it was "yellow" and that i just didn't know how to talk properly. When i told the kindergarten teacher why i slapped her, she said that it actually was "yellow" and i screamed at her that she was an idiot and didn't deserve to be a teacher!

lello lover

We used to watch a lot of public television in my family. I remember watching a NOVA special on black holes with my dad. They interviewed Stephen Hawking, who can't talk properly due to a degenerative illness. When I asked my dad why the man was talking so strangely, he told me his voice was sucked out by a black hole. I completely believed him, and today he won't admit to having ever said it.

Dina

When I was young (about 3), I learned how to pronounce simple words from Sesame Street. They would sound out each letter of a word and then say the whole word. From this, I believed for a short time when you said a new word, you always had to say "buh...buh..." before it (sounding out the letter B), as in buh...buh...hand.

John Miles

i used to think gymnastics was a person named Jim Nastics. I couldn't understand how he could be at the local youth club AND on TV in the same day- and i could never figure out who he was when i watched it.

Anon

When I was about five years old, there was a commercial for Spaghetti-Os that ended with the announcer saying "with and without meatballs". I thought he was saying "withend without meatballs". I surmised that "withend" was another word for pasta or noodles, and at least once, I used the new word, much to the confusion of anyone who heard me.

Katherine

when i was young i used to believe that the 'carry-over champion' on game shows was in fact a 'karaoke' champion. It wasnt until i was 17 and asked my boyfriend what on earth a 'karaoke' champion was, that i learnt the truth.

Sarah. F.

When I first heard the poem "The Walrus and the Carpenter" from Alice in Wonderland on tv, I thought the walrus said it was time to talk about "shoes and ships and CEILING wax." I had no idea why anyone would want to wax their ceiling, but I figured it had to be either more Lewis Carroll nonsense or else some kind of obscure ceiling maintenance technique that grownups used.

Amanda M.

I used to believe there was some secret reason about why "clothes" wasn't pronounced "cloth-es" and "shoppe" wasn't pronounced "shop-e." I thought that when I grew up, my parents would sit down and explain these secrets (and others) to me.

Jen

i used to belive cock.. was another word for poop.. and i used to go arond yelling mom i need to take a cock.. or look momy the dog is taking a cock.. lma too much

Jesenia

When I was about seven years old, I found out that the word 'bitch' was the name for a female dog.
Then one day, when I was playing outside with my big brother and his friends, one of them came up to me and said 'Sophie, do you know what a male dog is called?'
I said 'B***ard' and they all laughed at me and called me stupid.

I ran home crying and to this day I've not told my family what happened.

Sophie

I used to think that when my parents said "we're having a lie in" was actually "we're having a lion" So used to think there was a pet lion I knew nothing about!

Anon

My freshman year at Georgia Tech there was a celebrity basketball
game between the Playboy Bunnies and the school's coaches.
After the game the bunnies were chatting with the huge crowd of
young men; some sitting on other's shoulders to see better. One
such fellow, being overwhelmed by thier sexyness, I presume,
bellowed out "I think I'm going to have an organism".

sideways

I thought the phrase "make ends meet" was "make ends meat." I thought it was some particular kind of meat or a dish made with this meat that people who were poor or having difficulties would prepare.

kate

When I was little, I watched "All in the Family". I didn't understand "before" could also mean "in front of", so when Rob Reiner would say "All in the Family was filmed before a live audience", it confused the heck out of me.

Gardenwife

I thought the word economical was actually two words: eek and omical.

Nancy M.

My Teacher asked if I could Name types of beans so I stood up in class and said Baked Beans, Runner Beans and Human Beans!

Nadia Whyte

I always got the words kidnapped and adopted mixed up. When I was in the first grade I almost fell over in the lunch line when my friend said she was adopted, (thinking she was kidnapped) I told my mom as soon as I got off the bus that day and she had to explain the difference.

Ribbon