When I was about 8 I mentioned to to my mother that the Rolling Stones song 'I can't get no satisfaction' was grammatically incorrect and that it should be 'I can't get any satisfaction'.

She explained that they were using poetic licence.

For years I thought there was a special government office where you could apply for a special licence to use incorrect grammar.

I also thought this applied to using the numeral 4 instead of the word 'for' on a 'for sale' sign.

Sarah

I used to think veternarians and vegetarians were the same thing. In my mind, veternarians didn't eat meat because they loved animals. It seemed logical at the time.

Anon

I used to think people were called "human beans".

Dave

We had an antique lamp that I thought was hideous and for years I thought "Art Deco" was a synonym for ugly.

Anon

I used to think our lawn mower was called a "lawn lower". This made sense because it made the grass lower. When I found out I was wrong I still thought my way made more sense because I didn't think "mower" was even a real word. By the time I was 8 I finally got it right.

Mr. E

My youngest sister was always getting her words mixed up.
She thought 'semolina' meant food poisoning (salmonella), and that the UK celebrity, Cilla Black, was called Silly Plank, and that Mum and Dad banked with the Happy National (Abbey National).

Becki's Big Sis

Until about 2 days ago I thought the saying 'with every fiber of my BEING' was . With every fiber of my BEAN.' I never understood how beans could have fibers, even if they could why would it matter to someone if I used every one, plus I don't have a bean. Was the bean a metaphore? I was a very confused child

Inchy

When my brother was very young, he would pronounce "hamburger" as "hangerber". This became a standard alternate pronunciation in our family. At about 8 years old, while having dinner at a friend's house, I called them "hangerbers" and everyone laughed. I was surprised at their ignorance, and spent a good long time convincing them that "you can say it either way".

duh...

Until a few years ago, I believed this was a "doggy dog" world, rather than a "dog-eat-dog" world.

jemima

When I was in the 5ht grade I thought that a theasaurus was a type of dinosaur.

Anon

I used to be very talkative when I was young. I remember that I was going on and on about something and my sister was getting really annoyed. So she told me that you were born with a set amount of words you're allowed to say in your life and then you go deaf. She said that's why there are deaf people; they didn't have any word management skills. She also told me that she'd been counting and I was dangerously close to running out of words.

That shut me up.

John T

I always thought the old saying "spare the rod and spoil the child" was a set of two instructions rather than the warning that the child who does not get whacked occasionally will be spoiled. I much preferred that they both spared the rod AND spoiled the child - if the child was me, at any rate!

Swanny

When I was a kid, I would read product labels. I noticed that a lot of the glass bottles had "ME 5c Deposit" written on them.

I was a really screwed up kid. I knew what bad grammar was *before* I learned that states had abbreviations.

So, I would wonder why they didn't write "I am a 5c deposit," instead of talking like a caveman.

Nichole

When I was a kid, my parents had their own language. No, that's not my weird belief yet - be patient.

It was just spelling aloud, but using a short word for each consonant. B becomes "Bub", C becomes "Cut", H becomes "Hash", etc. Also, to double a letter, precede it with "Square". Hence the word "butter" would be rendered as "Bub U Square Tut E Rud." With a little practice you can learn to speak and understand it very quickly. My parents used it constantly to talk in front of the kids without us knowing what they were saying.

When I was eight, I broke the code (not transliterating the vowels finally gave me the clue that they were just spelling. After that it was simple.) I was smart enough to solve the code, but too stupid to keep my mouth shut. I promptly told everyone how clever I was. If I'd really been clever I'd have eavesdropped on them for years.

Ian, Los Angeles

When I was youger I was convinced prostitutes and protestants were the same thing. Hey cmon the words are pretty similar!

Charlie

I used to think that a cubic foot was how things were measured in Cuba. I'd hear ads for refrigerators with so many cubic feet of space and I just didn't get it. Were all refrigerators made in Cuba? I think I was 12 or 13 before some one set me straight on that one.

Mathematically challenged

when I was younger, I knew the word "khaki" in the spoken language, but I always thought it was spelled "cacky." I knew the word "khaki" from reading, but I always thought it was pronounced "ka-hee-kee" and that it meant "hawaiian print."

It wasn't until my late teens that I made the connection between the two. Luckily, I figured it out before anyone else did.

Holly

I used to believe that when adults sat around talking, they just chose random words to say. I often wondered how they could sit around doing something so boring for so long.

Becky

When our parents would go to Las Vegas for the weekend, they always promised to bring back some souvenirs for us. I was absolutely certain that they were really saying "soup and ears," and of course I thought that was a VERY strange thing to eat. Soup and crackers, I could understand, but...

Ken H

I believed "lesbians" and "Presbyterians" were the same thing; I still don't know why. I can't imagine the conversations I had mixing those two up.

Andraea