I used to think the word fever was just another word for giraff

Marshall m

I used to believe that "bed-raggled" was a word especially meant for how you looked when you woke up each morning.

Melissa

When I was about two, I was reaching on top of a table for a balloon. It was just out of my reach, so my mother told me to "stand on your toes." This of course made me very confused, but rather than risk not getting the balloon, I proceeded to literally put one foot on top of the other, which I assumed was how people "stood on their toes."

Sarah

In my family, before leaving the dinner table, one was required to ask, "May I be excuse?" I never quite heard anyone right when they said it, and for years and years I mumbled something like "May-beg-screws?" until I finally figured it out.

Misty A. Smith

When I was 8 we moved to England from South Africa. I thought since we all spoke English, I'd be fine... right up until I told a kid in my class that I lived "down that road, past the robots and turn right". A stressful few minutes passed before I figured out that "robots" were called "traffic lights" in England. For years afterwards I was on edge, wondering what apparently-harmless-in-South-Africa/ hilarious-in-England word would get me laughed at next.

Anon

One time I was driving in the car with my mom. I wanted her to eject a cd from the cd player in the car. Earlier on in the day I had heard the word ejaculation. I thought the word eject was an abbreviation for the word ejaculate. So in an attempt to show off my big vocabulary to my mom, I said, "Mom can you ejaculate the cd."

Courtney

I don't know where it came from, but I do distinctly remember when I was about 7 or so that we must have a limited number of words to say in our life. That one day, I would run out of words. I kept quiet sometimes, so that I would not use my allocation of words too soon. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut more, and not got into so much trouble!!

Mick Hughes

My Dad had a saying for when we were having lots of fun. It was "I haven't had this much fun since the pigs ate my little brother!" I thought it was hilarious and never actually believed it or thought anyone else took it literally. When I was almost 5 years old my kindergarten teacher heard me say it. My little brother was about 6 months old at the time and the teacher asked my Mother to come in for a serious discussion about my mental health.

Ann

I used to think the heimlich manoeuvre was called the heimlich remover. I did not know until about a year ago (when i was 25!) that it was the manoeuvre, my boyfriend still makes fun of me for it.

Anon

My parents, whenever on a family holiday would say "oh! what a picturesque lookout" (however would pronounce the word 'picture-skew' the way it looks like it should be said). It wasn't until I was 18 when I said picture-skew that my boyfriend at the time pointed out that I had been made a fool of!Darn Parents

G

Ounce in kindergarten i put a marker cap in my mouth and blew really hard and it flew out and it hit someone in the head my teacher asked me if i did it on purpose or accident at the time i had NO idea what it meant and i didnt want to ask because they would think im a moron so i thought it meant cities or towns so i chose purpose because it sound like a bigger city then accident so i got in trouble..

Top Spitter

when i was little, i used to wonder how language ws invented. i once asked my mom and she didnt really know either so she just said, it got around.
i would always imagine some king type guy would be in a throne with people beside him and be thinking and every so often he would say something, 'ha! i got one!'and he would tell his servent who then would run around the neighborhood whispering the new word to all the people who answer the door.
i always thought it must be very tiering work. telling all those people on your street.

Jessica

I believed that each person could only say a certain amount of words in their lifetime. Somehow I got that from what a person told me about having to use words wisely. Which was why I was worried that my talkative brother would soon use all of his up.

Megan Spilker

When I was about 11, I heard or saw the phrase "jerk off" somewhere. I didn't know what it really meant, so I deducted that it meant to fool around or goof off. So my older cousin took me to the mall one day, and I at the time hated shopping, so I said to her, loudly, "Let's go jerk off in the arcade!!"
Yeah, it was pretty shortly that I learned what "jerk off" really meant. I cringe now thinking of how many times I said that without knowing that I was suggested that me and my friends go masturbate.

Kat

my husband believed, until recently, that the word "several" meant seven of something.

sheryl

Back in the day, we used to refer to losing a game as getting "creamed." Unfortunately, I got it in my head that losing really badly was to get "cremated." So I would run around yelling "OOOH, you guys just got cremated."

Trina

One day my Dad came home from work and told my Mom that he'd hit a pigeon on the way home. I was very young and was still learning and confusing words. At the time, I thought a pigeon was a small person. I remember being very interested and shocked at the news that my Dad had hit a midget. I was even more amazed that he was so relaxed about it, like it was no big deal.

Joe ski

i used to think the word "friendship" meant a special kind of rocketship that you went on with your friends.

chips ahoy!

I thought sadism involved being sad and depressed. Obvious, I think.

]_]

I'm 56 and, until quite recently, i thought that a local anaesthetic was one that you had done in a hospital near where you live.

PETER.