When you're 2 and a half, you pretty much take at face value anything an adult might happen to utter around you. Your mind is a little sponge, soaking up the new and different, and language is an adventure. Indeed, I was praised for my quick uptake of new words. Hence, I believed I was in for lots of cuddles when I demonstrated my grasp of the vocabulary taught to me by my grandfather when I told my father that the stubborn bolt he was trying to loosen was, in fact, a c*%&sucker. I can still remember the way his mouth opened but nothing came out...

Potty Mouth

i heard a new word at school one day, 'twat', and decided that it was a cross between a twit and a prat, quite funny i thought and didn't quite understand why my mum got so angry when i jokingly called her one

han

Once when I was about 10 I called my Dad a "stupid dildo" without knowing what the word meant. I don't know where I'd heart it but I thought it was just a variation on "dumbo". A classic middle-class English parent, Dad just said something like, "Be careful of the words you use," without actually saying it was rude or explaining what it meant.

Anon

Like many a man from northern Ireland, my dad's language can frequently be described as "colourful". My nan, being from the republic, was more genteel, so when she cut herself whilst making dinner she just said "oh dear!"

"No nan," piped up her golden-haired, 5 year-old grandson (me), "you don't say 'oh dear' you say Jesus f'n wept!"

CFC 4 Life

when my friend and me were in fourth grade, she said that if u did the middle finger and touched it to something, like for example a pencil, then if u touched that pencil u would be cursed and get cooties or something like that. on the bus once i "accidentally" gave the middle finger and touched it to the front of the seat in front of us. for the rest of the ride, we sat indian style on the seat, desperately trying not to touch the seat in front of us

LOLlollypop

My parents used to make me (and still want me) to say "butter" instead of butt.

My babysitter used to make her kids say "shoot a bunny" instead of fart, and my parents adopted that phrase for my sister and I a while, until they realized it might not be such a good thing for vegetarians to say.

In kindergarten, I used to point with my middle finger, but my teacher told me to stop. I asked why, but I don't think she ever told me.

Amy

Every time I saw the word "sex" on a form, I'd show it to my friend in class and say "they wrote a bad word!" But in a couple years later, I noticed the words "Male/Female" so I guessed that it was another word for gender.

susan

When I first started school I didn't know what the middle finger was. One of the kids said "I dare you to stick out the middle finger." So I said "ok" not knowing what it was. I stuck it out and the kids were all like "ooooo" and I was like "what? what did I do?" I didn't get in trouble though.

Analiz

When i was in second grade someone told me that the middle finger meant that you hated god. One time i actually did it and told that friend from then on she sayed how i hated god. That next morning when i woke up i went to go tell my parents (as i was hysterically crying)... MOMMY I AM SO SORRY I DO NOT HATE GOD! she was so confused by how i could think the middle finger meant hating god

Anon

When I was young, I would sing and dance to my favorite music on the radio. Well, one day I blurted out Gods name, which was said in a vain manner in the song. My family, being very Christian, knew nothing of my blurting, but I was so distraught that I slept on the floor (in the middle of winter with no blanket) for a week!
I look back and wonder "Where was my head?!"

Govrache

I found out about cursing in second grade. I remember being in the computer lab (you can TELL this was the early 90s because we had some sort of turtle math blaster thingamajig, and I didn't even know that "*" stood for multiplication), and being terrified of cursing, and what it would do to me, but still wanting to try it out. OF course cursing was the word "dumb" or GASP "Shut up". I remember me and my friend Natasha Djsevic or something were like "Well, does curshing bring you to hell?" "How many curses are you allowed?" and my friend innocently turned to me and said "Oh, about 100." I immediately started counting all the times I said dumb in my head or out loud and got so scared!!!! So insane to look back on now!

Bonnie

When I was in 2nd grade, I found out what the middle finger was, it's terrifying impact that is. I was from then on scared stiff that I had accidentally lifted my middle finger and left all the other ones down. I mean, who remembers what their finger has done for the past 7 years. I believed I could go to hell if it ever happened, so I was terrified that I had accidentally did it, or was going to.

Bonnie

I always used to think that the end line in the chorus for "Alice" - was Alice? Alice? Who the fork is Alice? I got really confused when my mum told me to stop singing it..

Anna

When I was little, one of friends told me that the S word was "sex." I would get really mad at my parents whenever they said the word "sexy." I wouldn't believe them when they told me that it just meant "pretty." I still have a lot of difficulty saying the word, and that's really bad cuz now I'm in high school and I have to use that word.

*crystal*

I used to believe that if an adult caught you swearing, you'd have to pay a fine of 20 dollars. I was an odd kid.

Chris