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father christmas

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When we were kids, my dad used to tell us that if we did not behave at Christmas, he would give our gifts to a little boy called Henry who regularly only got a turd from Santa at Christmas.

I used to ponder how cruel it was to give a little boy a turd for Christmas. I mean, getting nothing would be better than opening your gift wrapping and finding a turd inside.

Peter T.
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During my mom's childhood, they told her that if she wasn't sleep by the time Santa came, he would put pepper in her eyes. She was terrified of Santa Claus.

Anon
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When I was a child my best friend Wendy was jewish. I am catholic. I heard that some people didn't like jewish people and was told by my parents that people who didn't like jewish people because they were jewish are bad people and I shouldn't associate with them. When I found out that Santa didn't give gifts to jewish children, I went to see him, all dressed up, and told him he was BAD and that my parents said I was no longer allowed to associate with him.

Susan
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i used to believe that santa knew the future and would not bring you Barbies if you made them do bad things with Ken.

Anon
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My husband's family lives in West Virgina and they do a lot of deer hunting there. His uncle shot a pretty big buck and had the head stuffed and mounted. On Christmas Eve, he took a bit of aluminum foil, colored it red and stuck it to the bucks nose. He then called all the kids in and told them he shot Rudolph! My husband and his cousins were devastated. What a rotten old bastard!

Tiff
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Every year in the weeks before Christmas my parents would put up a behaviour chart. If I was very good it could be set to 3 more presents or if very bad to no presents with varying levels in between. Every year I was as good as gold. If my parents wanted me to do anything I would on the premise that I could get 3 extra presents on Christmas day. Years later I realised that mum and dad simply put labels on my normal presents saying one extra, two extra etc. Great way to get your kids to behave!

Andrew
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As a joke, my 10-year-old brother, at christmas time told me when I was four that Father Christmas was not at all jolly, fat, and nice to little boys and girls. He said that Father Christmas was evil,and would give kids nightmares who believed in him. I was so angry with Father Christmas that night before Christmas that I took some Laxatives from my parents medacine cabbinet and poured it into the milk we left for Father Christmas by the fire. In the morning however, my dad was extremly sick, so sick he had to be rushed to the hospital. Later, I found out that I was the one who made him sick. That was the worst Christmas of my life. Not only did I find out that Father Christmas wasn't real, but my dad was very sick. Still to this day, It's hard to forgive my brother for what he did to me.

Unhappy Child
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I used to bieleve that santa would eat the cookies and drink the milk. when i heard noises i went to the kitchen, my Dad didn't hear me but i found my dad eating the cookies and drinking the milk, i thought he was stealing from Santa. I didn't talk to him for a bout a week because i thought that we didn't get as many presents that year because my dad ate Santas food.

Matt
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One year around christmas i was being pretty bad so my mom said that if i wasnt good i would get coal in my stocking. I imediatly burst into tear and said I Dont want slaw in my stocking. I thought she was refering to coal slaw and that was the worst food my five year old brain could imagine

molly
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Once when I was being naughty my mam told me she had a hotline straight to santa I spent years trying to find the number and picking up the phone saying hello is that santa, it wore off by the time I was 7!

lea
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When I was little and I heard that Santa Claus came down the chimney and came out through the fireplace, I was perplexed because we didn't have a fireplace. My parents assured me that Santa just came in through the front door instead, but I wouldn't believe this and instead decided that logically, Santa MUST come out through the stove. I always kept a wary eye on it Christmas eve and made sure mom didn't leave anything in it to slow-roast overnight.

Syllavus
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from the age of 4 to 6, every year i would ask father christmas for'magic flying powder' cus i believed it would make me fly. a few days later i went to my friends house for the day and she had got bath salt from father christmas. we assumed he had got the wrong house and decided to give it a try, we piled up some boxes and sprinkled the bath salt over us and jumped off. she broke her finger.

XD
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My husbands nephews were getting to that age where they were doubting Santa's existence. That Christmas, as always, my dad was playing Santa at the local department store. I took the kids to see my dad/Santa and having already briefed him, he greeted them with a hearty "Ho Ho Ho! And have Kyle and Jeffrey been good boys this year?" The looks on their faces when they realised SANTA KNEW THEIR NAMES!! They believed for another year after that!

Wicked Child Redeemed By a Good Deed
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Because I thought there was no way my parents could afford that much wrapping paper I belived in father christmas for ages and ages

SillySally
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when i was little, my mum always told me that every mother has a little invisible elf that watches the children for the entire year. then, on thanksgiving they would go back to the north pole and tell father christmas if the kids were good or not. it scared me, i didn't like the idea of a little invisible man watching me take a bath..but it made me behave!

emma
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When I was little I found a price tag from a store I knew on a present that Santa had left for me,since I knew that elves made all the toys I went to my mother and asked her why.She told me that sometimes Santa goes to the store to get the gifts the elves can't make,this sounded logical to a small child so whenever I saw an older man with a beard or a little person in a store I would think it was Santa or an elf getting all the gifts they couldn't make . I would walk up to them and give them a knowing look, usually they smiled and just thought I was an odd kid but I thought they were giving me a secret look like they knew I knew who they were.....

odd kid
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When i was little we were burgled on christmas night and all the presents were stolen along with the TV. My parents told me there were no presents because Santa was so angry with my behaviour over the past year he stole out TV. The next year I slept downstairs with a plastic sword waiting for Santa to make sure he didn't steal the new TV. Of course i fell asleep before the morning and unfourtunately my mum & dad arranged a man in a Santa suit to come to our house. When he arrived he and my parents walked into the living room where I was asleep. My dad woke me up and I saw santa standing there. As soon as i saw there were no presents i grabbed my plastic sword and ran at him in a rage shouting "THIEF! F*****G THIEF!"

Anti Santa Man
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As a kid I was very aware of money and prices of stuff because my mom had sorta trained me to look for sales when we bought cereal. Anyways, I figured that santa claus couldn't afford all those toys for all those kids and he must've stolen them. So one day my sister was watching a commercial that said, "Report a crime in your area, call the number on the screen!" So I called the number to report santa claus for robbery.

santa theif!
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I used to believe that Santa's elves had hidden cameras in every place in the world. They reviewed the footage in the North Pole, in a big futuristic base. I also believed that in addition to the cameras, each house had it's own elf watching their every move and documenting every bad deed. Needless to say, I was a very well behaved child.

Ms. Mole
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i once caught my christmas list in my dad's office, when it was supposed to be at the north pole. i became upset until my father explained he had santa's fax number. i was duly impressed.

Anon
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