The song "The Girl is on to you" by Bette Midler has a line
"She's grown much wiser than you realize," which I heard as "She's grown much wider than you realize."

Anon

I used to believe Abba sang 'Kimmy, kimmy, kimmy, a man after midnight.' And that the song was some kind of spell that would make me a boy over night.

Kimmy

Imagine her surprise and my absolute amusement when I heard my friend Linna singing, "Play that monkey music, white boy!" and I told her it was 'funky music'. What a hoot!! Can't hear that song today without seeing her snappin' her fingers and struttin' her stuff, singing those lyrics. A great memory for me!

Cooki

When my younger daughter was small she loved to sing in the car. One day she demanded we sing "The Rabbit In The Sea" It took us at least 15 minutes to figure out that she meant "My Bonny (bunny) Lies Over The Ocean.

Sean

When I was in Jr. High (in the late 80's) there was this song by Debbie Deb called "Lookout Weekend". I was bustin' a move and dancing in the living room one day then my Mom pulled the plug on the radio 'cause she was so annoyed. Just as she did that I belted out "Look out we can cuss-here I come!! Because we can twirl-made for fun!"
Well, she just about died laughing and said the real lyrics were "Lookout weekend cause, here I come
Because weekends were, made for fun!" She always had a way of bursting my bubble.

crabbychris

I used to think that Elton John's "Benny & The Jets" was "banging on your chest" and every time the song came on I'd bang my chest like Tarzan.

Lauren D

I used to think it was 'Everywhere you go, always take a weapon with you' instead of 'always take the weather with you' in that song by Crowded House

Mafi

I used to think "Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh..." was "Dashing through the snow in a one horse soap and sleigh..." and my dad didn't miss the opportunity to humiliate me about it, either. LOL.

Lisa

In Benny and the Jets by Elton John, I always thought the line 'He's got eletric boots and a mohair suit' was 'She's got electric boobs and her mom has, too.' As a kid, I kept wondering what electric boobs could possibly look like, and what kind of sad genetic defect it was that could affect a whole family. The REALLY funny thing is that without really talking about it, my sister misinterpreted the same line the same way. What a warped family I come from

Lisa in Colorado

There is a song we used to sing at Sunday School that went 'Jesus' friend of little children, be a friend to me, take my hand and ever keep me close to thee....
Now my little ears heard and my little mouth sang,
Jesus scared of little children be afraid of me....

Little Miss Heard

Years ago the group Simple Minds released a song called "Alive and Kicking". I could've sworn they were singing 'I love my kitchen'.

toon

My sister used to sing Kylie's "cheese on my pillow", somehow tears works better.

Tom

When I was younger (in the early 90's) I listened a lot to Guns n' Roses. In their song Paradise City I was sure that the chorus went "Take me down to the Paradise City, where the beer is free and the girls are pretty."
To my grave disappointment it was the, in my opinon, lamer "where the grass is green and the girls are pretty". My version just seems to be more Rock n' Roll.

dzy

Yrs ago, when David Bowies Starman came out, when he sings the line...pick him upon channel two, I thought he was singing...picking my bum......channel two

Anon

For a long time i thought the song 'take my breath away' was 'take my bread nowhere' only recently did i figure it out...

Anon

Dexy's Midnight Runners. Always heard "come on Eileen oh I swear unto thee" as "oh you swear on TV". Because nobody ever swore on TV, so that would be an outrageous thing to do.

too young, not religious enough

I have two after reading some of the other entries. Same songs, different misheard lyrics. First is the song by Neil Diamond called "Forever in Blue Jeans". I thought it was "A River in Blue Jeans". 'Nuff said...
The second is Huey Lewis' "I Want a New Drug". In that song he says, "...the old boy may be barely breathing..." I used to think he was saying, "the oboe may be barely breathing."

Lisa

I thought the Beatle's song "I wanna hold your hand" went "I wanna colder hand" And I thought how awful it was that they were criticizing their girlfriends' hands.

Anon

My daughter told me last year, at age 14, that when she was younger she thought the lyrics to "Winter Wonderland" were....... "Later on we'll EXPIRE, as we dream by the fire...."

Kath

Don't let the sun go down on me'

but I heard them as

Don't let your son go down on me'

Around the time that he (CAME OUT - I guess is the politically correct terminology) admitted how gay he was, I was talking to a crazy friend of mine (Elton came out, not my friend) who knew all the Elton John lyrics from back then, and I mentioned that it was no wonder that he sang about somebody's son going down on him, and how prophetic that was, when my friend laughed hysterically and corrected my mistake. I had been happily singing along for years, thinking all the time how gay Elton John must be, Oh, well.

Unknown