In the song "I Need You", Linda Ronstadt sings "I need you like a shot needs to shoot".

I always heard it as "I need you like a shark needs shoes".

Australian politician and feminist Irina Dunn wrote that "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle", and I always think of that when I hear this song.

Brenda

I used to think the Toto song "Africa" said: There's nothing that a hundred men on Mars could ever do" (It should be "a hundred men or more") I was probably in my late teens before I figured this out. I'd imagine lots of these little green men standing on Mars in spacesuits trying to keep her away from him.

Weirdo

I thought the line in the song "more than a woman" was "four-legged woman".

boo

My mates Mum used to think Paul Weller was singing about "Eating Trifles" instead of "Eton Rifles"

Sean

I was listening to a radio competition where they play part of a song and the person on the phone has to complete the lyrics, Bachman Turner Overdrive had a song out that went "Taking care of business everyday, Taking care of business everyway," They stopped the music and the caller continued "Baking carrot biscuits everyday, Baking carrot biscuits everyway."

Gary (Frankston Australia)

When I first heard Stawberry Fields Forever, I misheard the lyrics as Strawberry Fields For Trevor.

Matt

In the Beach Boy's Kokomo, instead of that Monserrat mystique....I always thought they were saying Vermont's a rotten state. I still can't bring myself to sing it correctly.

Pat

Billy Squire sang about "My Kind of Lover". My wife sang about "My Candelabra"

Wailerman

In the Prince song which goes
"I will die for you"

I always used to think it said
"Yabba Dabba Do"

So I just thought that Prince had a thing for Fred Flintstone or something

Chelsea

You know that song by Whodini?
That infamous chorus, "The freaks come out at night?"

Being little when it came out, I didn't really understand anything BUT that line. Except I heard "The freaks come out at nine", AKA 9:00 on the dot.

I got freaky visions of hundreds upon hundreds of Hellraiser-like creatures coming out of the misty fog down my Dead-End street, lurking around my house at 9:00 (sharp) in hopes of peeling my flesh off.
And God forbid, I'd play my radio at 9:00 with THAT song playing (Which that station played quite often when it first came out.)

So when my mum said I had to be in bed at 9:00, I didn't complain... she was just trying to protect me. She's the reason I'm still here! I wuv my mommy...

Come to find out, I'm not the only person to mishear this lyric, so now I don't feel that stupid.

Yo' girl's a freak;)

I have quite a few stories...

First of all, I really think the singer from The Cure needs to annunciate more, since he's been teaching kids some dirty stuff. It was one day while playing some nice music, when I hear the words,
'Yoo-hoo, soft and only, yoo-hoo, lost and lonely, yoo-hoo, you're dressed like Kevin.'
Of course, the real words are 'just like heaven'. Since the song is supposedly about a girl, I thought the song was about a cross-dresser or something. In other news, the first time I heard the song Friday I'm In Love, I could have SWORN he was singing 'Friday, I'm a bra'.

Next! The song Sexyback by Justin Timberlake - I used to think 'get your sexy on' was 'get your sexy towel'. Sounds like that. And Say It Right by Nelly Furtado...I could have sworn that 'from my hands, I could give you, something, that I made' was actually 'from my PANTS, I could give you, something, that I made...'
And the line after that one (same song, Say It Right), it sounds like 'from my mouth' is 'from my bowel'.

And The Clash. They have dirty minds too. Times a thousand. On the album London Calling, there's a song called Spanish Bombs. The little lyrics booklet says the words are 'oh, oh, oh mah corazon' but when I hear it it, no matter how hard I try, I can't hear anything else but 'oh, oh, oh Madonna thong'.

Give this belief a thumbs-up if you think I have a serious hearing problem.

Anon

In Danity Kane's song "Damage" there's a part where one of the girls sings:

"My heart is damaged, damaged, damaged"

over & over again.

I heard "I want a sandwich, sandwich sandwich"

Anon

When I was in 1st grade we would sing My Country, Tis of Thee every day after saying the pledge of allegiance. All through 1st grade I believed one line in the song-"of thee, I sing"- was actually "of B.I.C." I had no idea what that stood for, but since everyone else seemed to know, I thought I should keep my mouth shut. Once I saw the letters b-i-c on my dad's cigarette lighter, but instead of being a tipoff that my lyrics were wrong, I assumed it must just mean the lighter was made in the USA. It wasn't until 2nd grade when the words to the song were printed on the first page of our social studies books that I discovered my error- and felt like an idiot.

born in the B.I.C.

I used to think the lyrics to Dancing Queen by Abba were "you can dance, you can die, having the time of your life." I used to remember thinking that although dancing was fun I wouldn't want to die from doing it too much

Jord

When I was younger I didn't have the greatest hearing. I would sing songs with the lyrics I thought I heard and add my own rationale to why they would be saying these things. For instance, I thought Sinead O'Connor's song "Nothing Compares" was Compincon Pears. An exotic fruit she was handing out. "Compincon pears to you!"
I believed this far past the age I should have.

Tonedeaf

My mother was a huge Jimi Hendrix fan when I was growing up. I always thought he was saying "Excuse me while I kiss this guy" in "Purple Haze."

Anon

I was convinced for a time Maddonna sung 'Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body', which is somewhat disturbing.

flamingkitties

I, too, sang "every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you."

In "Got my Mind Set On You" by George Harrison, I used to sing it "Oh, God, my mom sat on you", and could never figure out why it was gonna take plenty of money to do it right.

My mom thought that "Never gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley went "Man, I'm gonna give you up, Man I'm gonna let you down, Man I'm gonna run around and desert you." I was 15 when I finally figured out why she always wanted me to change that "hateful" song when it came on the radio.

Maria

I don't know the name of the song, but it was by Miya, describing the type of man she wanted. I'm still not sure but I think she says "I'm looking for a brother who likes to have fun, a 'fly chilled-out guy' who knows how to please a woman" I am however quite sure she does not want a 'flatulent guy' as I had first thought, I was deply concerned at the time - she does sing that line quite fast though.

Another error I made was thinking that Miss-Teeq were singing "pants down, grab a man" instead of "glance down" and I was most unhappy about the message the song was sending out, bless me!

Finally, I thought, in the song "Bad", that Michael Jackson was singing about my friend Sian Moore (I now think it might be "you know it" but my judgement is forever clouded by my previous belief) I was insanely jealous that he loved her and not me - it was when he still looked like a man.

Penny

When I was young and I heard the song, Sweet Home Alabama, I didn't that arrangement of words. The lyrics I heard was "Free fall down the mountain, i am coming home to you!!" i felt really stupid when my roomate in college told me the real lyrics!!

rachel