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As a very squeamish child (my brother had a cartoon encylopedia of the human body that absolutely TERRIFIED me, if you want to know just how squeamish), I used to be afraid of any store that bore the name "Body Shop," as I assumed they sold organs for transplant. I kept visualizing a clean, white doctor's waiting room-looking place, with a back door that led to a freezer room full of bloody coolers. Needless to say, I caused quite a scene when my father needed to stop in.
At the shopping mall when I was younger, I would freak out and plead with my parents to take me home as it approached closing time. My sister who is 4 years older than me would tell me how giant German Shepherd guard dogs would come running out of nowhere and viciously eat anyone left in the stores. I'm sure parents had to deal with their children complaining about wanting to go home, but not nearly as bad as my adolescent anxiety attacks!
i used to believe that shoping carts were for slave children
I used to believe that I when I bought a new pair of shoes I could run faster. I would go home, put on my new pair of shoes and challenge all the boys in the neighborhood to a race.
when I was little I thought that ATMs, change machines and coke machines, I thought that when you pushed the button the machine made whatever it was you bought and then gave it to you. I actually thought the things were made INSIDE the machine! :)
When I was little I used to believe that the handicapped parking spots were where the people were supposed to park their wheelchairs before entering a store.
I was always so amazed by those maps in the mall that say "you are here" I thought they were magic and could detect where I was at any given moment.
One time when I was little my Mom and I were driving by this grocery store called the Food Lion. I asked my Mom, does the Food Lion actually have a lion? Her replie was that there was a lion and it was sleeping in the back to guard the food. I belived that till I was 7.
I used to believe that the Pillsbury doughboy actually lived in the refrigerated shelves in the grocery store. I always secretly looked for him when we went grocery shopping just hoping to be able to push his belly.
When I was little, and my mum was pregnant with my little brother, we went to the supermarket. In the checkout behind us was a man with a very large belly, I turned around and said to him, "Oh my mummy's having a baby like you are too!"
when I was little, I thought that in the stores after closing, the maniquies summoned up life and took a walk by the mall
I used to believe that the people that worked in stores slept right there on the floor and lived there.
When I was little my mom always told me the "K" in K Mart stood for "kids" and that if I was bad she would return me and my sister for new children.
When I was about 5 my aunt caught me pushing all the buttons in the elevator at the mall. So she told me that a gremlin lived underneath the elevators, he made them go up and down by pulling ropes, and pushing all the buttons at once would piss him off. So until I was about 10 I took the escalator.
Up until I was almost 9, my younger sister and I thought that we could fool people into believing that we were mannequins at department stores, just by wearing clean clothes and holding very still. Whenever someone gave us a second and very confused look, we thought we were fooling them.
I had lots of fun whispering to her to stop breathing so we'd be more convincing. Oh, and she tried.
When we got really good at this game, we started trying it everywhere, especially places with long, boring lines. We were Navy brats. There were lots of those. Our favorite was banks. No one there ever seemed to notice that we weren't actually mannequins. Little did we know, they just didn't care.
When I was little, we would take the bus downtown to the big department store. It had one of those old escalators that still had wooden slats to stand on. I used to worry that the escalator would eat me feet first and would refuse to go on it. I made my mom take the elevator.
I used to believe that there was a man inside the ice machine, where they had blocks of ice for sale. "He" would dispense your ice block when you put your money in.
When I was little and my mother would take me with her on trips to the mall, I'd get bored in the department stores because we weren't buying anything for me, and I'd hide in the clothing racks. My mother would get mad, and told me that the department store owners were watching me on the security cameras and would come down and yell at me and kick me out if I kept it up.
One day I was hiding amongst some women's dresses, and they made an announcement over the intercom for a Miss Green to come to the front of the store. I began bawling and ran to my mother, and when she asked what was wrong, I tearfully told her the lady on the speaker called me "Miss Greedy" and she was going to come kick me out!
I used to think that handbags were actually called hambags. I thought women carried ham around with them or something!
I used to believe, until I was 5, (I'm 12 now) that the little design in the bottom of paper shopping bags was a monster, and when I got too close to the bottom, I would get attacked.(Well, anyway, it looked like a design when I held it to a light, and saw the overlapping paper, but I also thought that that was the only way you could see the "monster".)
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