ten random beliefs
i used to believe (very logically) that there were only 365 people in the world. that way, everyone got their very own birthday that they didn't have to share. (i guess i didn't consider twins, huh?)
i used to hear people say "that guy looks familiar" and i thought they said "for Miliar", thinking there was a guy named Miliar that was on the run and certain people were hired to look for him. so these people would be looking for a guy named Miliar. i was very young.
when I was about 6 or 7 yrs old I used to believe a little penguin lived in my refrigerator and his job was to turn the interior light on and off. I would sit and open the fridge repeatedly trying to catch him in the act. Boy, what a dork I was.
When I was in kindergarten and my sister was in second grade, we found a worm in the yard and put it in a cup of dirt to look at it. She claimed she could communicate with the worm through an elaborate series of head movements. She promised me that I too would be taught this language in second grade.
Second grade came. Every day I waited for my teacher to get in front of the class and say "Attention everyone! We're not having math today, kids, because we'll be learning worm language."
Every day I thought, "This has to be the worm language day."
The day never came.
I'm still bitter.
I thought sadism involved being sad and depressed. Obvious, I think.
My friend, James, use to belive that if you bought a new telly it would show programmes from the very start of television history. His theory fell apart when I asked him how both out tellies had the same program on at the same time. "Our mums must have bought them at the same time!"
I thought the lyrics to "We're going to Ibiza" by the Venga Boys was "We're going to eat pizza"
Because in the Catholic religion you do the sign of the cross before and after basically everything you do, I thought it was a on/off switch for talking to God. But I couldn't remember how many times I'd done it, so I was never sure if the switch was currently on or off. I was terrified that I was talking to God during the wrong times, and he wasn't hearing me when I was at church. So every week at church I crossed myself twice when I sat down so that at least 50% of the time I was right.
I always thought that Osama and Obama were the same people. Imagine my suprise when he ran for president! I was so confused until my parents explained to me they were different people. I was 13 at the time.
Once, when I was 8, I told my Mom about this weird experience I had where the exact same thing happened to me twice. She explained that it hadn't happened twice, but that I had déjà vu. The next day at school, I told all of my friends that I had this weird French disease that made me get stuck in time and repeat things I'd already done.