ten random beliefs
the lunch people at my elementary school would always trick you into eating the end pieces to save bread by putting them on the inside of the sandwich. so it looked like you were getting a regular piece, but if you peeled it apart you could see that it was an endpiece. i thought that the endpieces would kill you. i never liked the lunchladies at our school for that...
When I was about 4, I believed that if you scrub a vinyl record hard enough, long enough, with enough soap, you could erase what was on it and record your own songs there instead. I was never quite able to do this successfully, (this was before recordable CD's, or any CD's actually), but I did render several vinyl records completely unplayable.
I used to believe that the stars sang. When they came out in the evening, the chirping would begin; first one star, then two, then a whole host of them, chirping to different rythms, then for one breathtaking moment, singing in unison. The songs used to have words in my head, little repeated phrases like "flower pretty" or "Standard Oil." (I remember being amazed that the stars knew my Daddy was a pilot for Standard Oil. How did they know that?)
I was living in California. Later I found out the sounds I was hearing were made by crickets that came out to chirp as the sun set. I still cherish the sound of crickets today.
I was convinced for a long time when I was about eight that I was actually a robot from the planet Saturn. I don't know why except that it had something to do with Holst's "Planets" suite, to which we liked to listen. I even convinced some of my school friends. I gave up on it after I was X-rayed and saw that there were ribs inside my body, not machinery. I tried to make up a mechanism where my manufacturers had put X-ray negatives inside so that a convincing outline would show up, but I couldn't make it work and had to admit I was human after all.
I shared a bunk bed with my younger brother (who slept in the top bunk) and thought that gorillas had come into our room at night to get us. I would not make a sound when I woke in the middle of the night because I knew that they had already 'gotten' my brother and they were on the top bunk and under the bottom bunk, just waiting for me to get out of bed and go to the bathroom... so that they could get me too. I peed the bed more than once over that one!
When I was about five or six, I thought the "Hazard" button on a car, if pressed while the car was in motion, would make the car do a jump ala "The Dukes Of Hazzard". I never got up the nerve to press it, though.
I used to believe that there where dead people in the bases of bouncy castles.
That nuns had no feet. I lived next door to a convent and as a 4 or 5 year old, when they walked by my house in their flowing black habits, they all seemed to be floating past, not walking like other people did.
I thought a broken arm or leg would prevent you from ever becoming an astronaut because the bone would come apart during weightlessness.
When I was five, I decided that cats needed haircuts just like people. I grabbed some scissors, crawled under the dining room table, and cut all of my cat's whiskers off. I wasn't allowed to used scissors for two months.