ten random beliefs
When I was four years old my aunt and uncle stayed at our house while my parents went on a camping trip. One afternoon they were driving my cousin and I who were acting up in the back seat. My uncle turned his head around and told me if I didn’t behave myself he was going to take me to the police station and give me the electric chair. I sat there thinking I couldn’t understand why my aunt thought that was so funny. Nevertheless, for most of my early childhood I believed every police station had an electric chair
When I was little, I used to think that the moon was following me when I rode in the car. If i was in trouble, I would remind my parents that the moon was going to take me from them if they weren't nice!
If you didn't eat the crust on your bread "Mr Crust" would stand at the foot of you bed and haunt you at night. Another tid bit from my Mother's childhood, past on through the years.
For the first tooth I ever lost, I recieved a dollar bill coated in glitter. I can still remember the scowl on the clerk's face directed at my mother after I handed it to her and announced it was from the tooth fairy. It took several minutes for her to agree to accept the thing.
When I was little, we lived near a catholic church. There was a sign on the sidewalk that said pedestrian crossing, so i used to think that a pedestrian was was what you called a person who went to church.
When I was 5 I was really into Bruce Lee. I asked my dad how he died as clear the man was invicable. My Dad said that Bruce Lee was at a ceremony to meet the Queen and saluted, knocking himself on the forehead and killing himself outright. Needless to say, martial arts was obviously a dangerous skill to have. Not long after, I saw the Queen on TV laughing. I thought she was heartless, didn't she realise the part she'd played in the death of Bruce Lee?!?!
Because women could produce milk I thought it only made sense that men made coffee. Now it makes sense why I don't drink coffee.
I had a really smart dog, Sandy, a Sheltie. She knew when you were going to take her for a walk, recognized the words "go for a walk," and that kind of thing. She really was a great and intelligent girl. But she couldn't actually speak. That's where I was incorrect. I would spend an hour or so maybe once a week, after school, alone in the house with Sandy, pleading with her to chat with me, and often promised that I would protect her, and never let them give her a lobotomy. She held out. I'm still not convinced, though.
When I was little, I was that kid, the one asking all the endless, annoying questions. One day, I was inclined to ask my mom what in the world was beneath the streets. I mean there’sdirt under grass and every kid knows if you dig long enough through that you'll hit China, but what happens if you dig up the roads? So I posed this question to my mother who replied that there was water beneath the pavement. She failed to elaborate on this point with a statement such as “There are big man-made metal pipes with water in them in order to provide citizens access to running water” so I was convinced that there were oceans under the roads. Oceans. And what do oceans have in them? Freaking SHARKS, that’s what. For half of my childhood, I was convinced that if there ever was a problem with the roads or an earthquake tore up the surface or something, it would open up to these Hellish oceans, and we would all drown in a deep sea of marine life and be eaten by sharks.
I used to believe that there was a ninja living on top of my wardrobe who would jump down at night and chop my arms off if I got out of bed. I also thought that if I let any of my arms or legs hang over the edge of my bed, they would be bitten off by lobsters!