ten random beliefs
When I was about 5 or 6, I thought that when the police told you to put your hands up, that they were going to shoot you in the armpits. I often thought about how much that would hurt. I was about 11 or 12 when I realized it was so that they could make sure you weren't going to pull a gun or something on them.
When I was around 5 or 6 years old I set to work selecting gravel and hairs from my dog and cat. I took my ingredients and mixed them with some water in a coke can. I seriously considered the implications if I followed through with my experiment. I thought that this concoction would mutate me, combining the properties of each ingredient. I imagined myself years from now as a part dog/cat/rock superhero-creature. I came to the conclusion it was the right thing to do. I poured the mix over my head in the shower, and needless to say was a bit disapointed.
I believed that one was born with a perfect sphere of booger-material at the top of each nostril. Each nose-picking whittled away at these spheres. I don't remember whether or not I thought these spheres served any purpose, but I recall lying on the floor at nap-time in pre-school with my finger up my nose thinking I'd have to pace myself if I wanted any left when I became an adult.
As child when ever I did something I wasn't necesarily supposed to do, all i heard my parents say about it was "it's a phase...phase this and phase that...etc."
One day I over heard my parents and my aunt talking about one of their cousins, and how he was gay. So I asked "What's gay?" and they said "Oh nothing son, it's just a phase he's going through" after I found out what "gay" was I thought "Oh shit I have to go through a GAY phase too?!?!" Needless to say that up until I was 11 I used to believe that being gay was a phase we HAD to go through and I was NOT looking forward to that phase.
I honestly thought that every time I used the vacuum cleaner, it was going to blow up and kill me. I loathed having to do that particular chore, and I'd always try to do it as quickly as possible so as to not get blown up by the exploding vacuum cleaner. I think I just hated the noise it made.
I used to have a black and white striped shirt I was terrified to wear, because in cartoons, all prisoners wore black and white shirts.
I figured if I wore it and a policeman saw it, he'd think I'd have escaped from prison and would make me go back.
I honestly was terrified to wear it to school or anything.
I used to believe that petrol was something you bought in jars and looked similar to mayonnaise, and that everyone had a large stash of these jars in the boot of their car.
When I was in kindergarden, I used to believe that the little pieces of concrete in there were dinosaur bones...
Once when I was a kid, I heard my mum fart and when I asked if that was her she replied: "No, mothers have lost their capapility to fart." For the longest time i believed her and couldn't wait until i bacame a mum so I didn't have to fart anymore.
I used to believe that buffalos and reindeer were mythical creatures like unicorns and dragons, but wanted a pet phoenix because they were real.