ten random beliefs
I've always loved drawing, mostly people or faces. But when I was little, I believed every single doodle you did was somehow transported to a different dimension to live forever – and I do mean live, as in walk, talk, think and feel – in the World of Drawings. So whenever I drew something ugly I’d be consumed with guilt. I thought I was responsible for condemning this defective drawing to an eternal life of mockery and misery. Boy, did I use rubbers back then.
Until I was 5 or 6 I had 6 imaginary monkeys who went everywhere with me. Some days my Grandad took me to nursey school by bus. My Mum would wait with us at the bus stop and then cringe with embarrassment as she had to lift each monkey onto the bus with me, and I counted them on! One day my uncle was driving me to nursery school. As he got into the drivers seat I screamed. He quickly ran round to my door and opened it, thinking he must have closed my finger in the door. I can still see his face when I told him I was ok but he had locked all my monkeys out!!
When I was little, my older sister was telling me how meat came from different animals. She told me that hamburger (what I was eating at the time) came from cows, and bacon (which I had for breakfast) came from pigs. She then told me how they get the meat out of the animal, the animal poops it out. I sure got some weird looks at lunch my first day at school. Thanks, sis. Thanks :p
My parents and I were driving one day, and somehow the subject of their wedding came up. My mother (who was probably fighting with my father at the time), said snidely, "If you can call it a marriage....."
I thought for years that parents weren't really married, that I was a bastard and that I was going to hell. Thanks, Mom.
to the silent embarassment of my family, when i was seven, i used to believe that if i wore this special gray jacket and walked around the block ten times, i would get the strength of ten men for ten minutes. now the first couple of times it wasn't too bad but when my three younger brothers started to tell me to give it up, well ... it took perserverence.
I used to really believe that Savlon was called "better cream" and that it said "especially for little boys that have bumped their heads" (or whatever injury it was I was crying about) on the side of the box.
I believed that when you farted, bubbles came out from your bum. And I couldn't figure out how come there were never any just hanging around. And then one day I figured it out! The bubbles were popping on our clothes (underwear), of course! It made total sense.
After watching "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" I thought that cartoon characters were just people in cartoon costumes.
When I was a child, I met my Nana, my grandmother's mother. She was 86 at the time, and reasonably frail. As I grew up, she became frailer, and suffered the sort of hunched-shoulder back often seen in very elderly people, so she lost height.
I remember reasoning to myself that people grew bigger, and then as they got older they grew smaller again. I believed that for quite a while. If the process continued, I thought she would become as small as I was eventually.
I used to mis-hear dialogue in films, and then never question it for years. For a long time, when Alderan was blown up in Star Wars, I thought the disturbance in the Force that Obi-Wan reacted to was millions of OYSTERS that had cried out in terror.