ten random beliefs
I used to believe that in Jurassic Park, when everyone was standing by the raptor fence for the first time, that Dr. Grant asked the "Australian Guy" (Muldoon) Can I show and tell it." instead of the line "Do they show intelligence?"
I used to believe that if you accidentally inhaled a whiff of Raid whilst killing a bug, that you only had a few hours to live. And I did once, when I was six. Inhale a whiff, that is. But I didn't die, which was a relief after a pretty tortured hour of doubt. And I didn't tell Mom about it, because I wasn't supposed to be using the Raid. So I walked around thinking "this is the last time I'll ever get to do _______ again", like swinging or climbing a tree, or watching CHiPs.
When I was younger, I asked my Mom why black folks were so much better at sports than white folks, as it seemed like professional sports were dominated by African-Americans. She told me that God gave them an extra muscle, hoping that it would make up for some of the hardships they'd faced in this country. During Black History Month, I shared this fact with my 1st grade class, and my teacher quickly tried to change the subject. Unfortunately, the class was waaaaayyyyy too curious about this evolution in the human condition, and the discussion was promptly ended. When I told my Mom about how my teacher seemed to not agree with this information, she called her sister and started angrily quizzing her about the information she'd gotten from her. Apparently, my aunt thought it was hilarious that something she'd told my Mom when she was a little girl had stuck for so long that it was almost passed down another generation. I learned a lot about a lot from that one event.
My dad sold purebred hunting dogs. One customer came to buy one, and he was really impressed with my little mongrel dog. My dad said, “Mary, this man said he would give you $50 for your dog.”
I said, “Okay, but what does a dog want with money?”
I used to believe that everybody had different colored pee. Mine was yellow. My brother told me his pee was green. And when I went over to my grandmother's house, her toilet water was blue, so Ithought that was her pee.
Why'd I get stuck with yellow pee?! I wished I had black pee.That would have been so cool!
I used to believe my dad would plant light bulbs every year to make the plants grow. I didn't understand it was just bulbs.
When I was about 5 my parents told me not to stick me arm out the window when travelling in the car as it might be cut off by oncoming traffic. So then I figured that if you stuck your arm out of the window a chainsaw popped out of the oncoming cars bonnet which then cut off your arm. I believed this for a few years.
When I was younger, my parents would make landscapes on the dinner plates with vegetables and I believed that broccoli were actually tiny trees. When my teacher served us broccoli for lunch one day, I looked her straight in the eye and informed her that I would not eat the little trees.
My husband used to tell his two kids that children who were bad were taken to a factory and turned into poo. One day when they were acting up in the car he turned into an industrial area and pointed out a building claiming that was the poo factory. The boys quit acting up after that!
I used to think that adults drank coffee because the bad taste would wake them up.