ten random beliefs
I used to believe that the short display beds at department stores were for dwarfs.
when i was little, for some reason i was convinced that vincent van gogh cut off his ear because he didn't want to hear the traffic outside because he thought it was distracting. it didn;t occur to me until much later that he lived long before cars were invented.
When I was *very* young (though it continued to a worrying age) I was convinced that a zebra was a kind of flightless bird.
Until the age of 12, Richard Branson was the lead singer of The Bee Gees. No one told me this, I must have just seen the whole blonde hair and moustache/goatee affair and presumed. I was gutted when I found out, mostly because I found out by confidently telling all my friends and then being mocked for a few years.
When I was 10 a friend told me that if you said "devil" and "hell" more often than you said "God" and "heaven", then you would go to Hell (and vice versa). I was really worried so every time I said "hell" or "devil" in whatever context I would say heaven lots of times. When I wasn't doing anything I would often be saying "God god god god" just to even out the score.
Once when I was about 9 or 10, I thought I had maggots in my mouth. I went up to my teacher and said to her 'I've got maggots in my mouth' and the whole class burst out laughting. I'm now 30 and can't for the life of me remember what made me think I had maggots in my mouth.
If you pee your pants too many times, the pee-pee fairy will decide you can't handle the pee-pee you have and switch your gender.
I used to believe that a "No Loitering" sign was "No Littering", inexplicably spelled with a Brooklyn accent.
One of my paranoid childhood delusions was to convince myself that my parents were actually spies from another country, and I wasn't their son at all. After all, why would they send me to bed at night and then stay awake themselves? I remember pressing my ear to the floor in my upstairs bedroom, trying to figure out if they were speaking Italian.
I used to believe that the electronic "talking" toys had a little guy living inside who's only job was to sit there and supply the voice for the toy.