ten random beliefs
When I was very young, my Dad was in the Navy. Naturally I spent a good deal of time asking where my Daddy was. My mother put a big picture of him onthe coffee table, so I could see him all the time, and told me "This is your Daddy." When my dad finally returned from his cruise, and we met him at the docks, I refused to talk to him, saying only "This isn't MY daddy. MY daddy's at home, on the coffee table." I believe that the picture itself was my dad.
When I was about 3 I got confused as to where food went. I thought my right arms would fill with apples, my left leg with peaches, and I had no clue what would happen when I ran out of room.
When I was 7, our family was riding home from a trip. It was nighttime I was awake keeping my dad company and I noticed that the car lights would go dim and bright. I asked my dad how that happened. He told me that there was a button on the bottom of his left foot that he pressed down on the floorboard when he wanted to change the lights. The next night when mom and dad were watching TV in bed, I asked my dad to let me see his foot so I could find that button and had wondered when that button would grow on my left foot.
Once when i was little i reallyr wanted to go to the pool but it was too cold so i decided to make a pool in my room. You know how in cartoons characters will fill up a room with water and when the door opens all of the water spills out like a wave?? I locked my room and started pouring water onto the carpet, and stopped after finally realizing it wasnt working.
When I was a kid I thought the toilet took a picture of you every time you flushed, so I would often look into the toilet bowl and smile when I flushed. I wasn't sure why, or where the pictures went, though.
I remember asking my father once driving down a gravel road in the country what that noise was against the side of the car, he told me it was squirrels throwing nuts at the car, I looked hard at the nearby trees and thought squirrels were very territorial. I still do.
I used to think that if I put small piles of rocks in the road, I could make cars jump through the air like on "The Dukes of Hazzard." Then I tried it and the unsuspecting driver threatened to call the police.
When I was a kid I read that salt was made from a combination of sodium and cloride. I later discovered that both salt and chloride were actually poisonous (that's what the book said anyway). It didn't take me long to conclude (despite all evidence to the contrary) that salt was completely deadly to eat and so i refused to eat anything that had been anywhere near the stuff. I must have spent ages trying to figure out why people didn't keep dropping down dead around the dinner table - A death I imagined to be particullarly disgusting and gruesome... I mean look what it does to slugs.
When I first came to the U.S. I was 5 years old and it was winter. A few days into the move to our apartment in NYC it had snowed overnight. When I first saw the snow I thought it was piles of sugar all over the streets. I asked my dad why there was sugar all over the streets, he laughed.
Because "scone" sounds so much like "cone," I always imagined it as a cone, with ice cream in it, served sideways on a plate. Blueberry scones were blueberry ice creams turned on their sides, raspberry scones were raspberry ice cream. I figured I'd rather eat my ice cream upright so I stayed away from scones and didn't find out what they really were until I was 19.