ten random beliefs
i used to get 'prosecuted' and 'persecuted' mixed up all the time, so i figured the signs in stores that said "shoplifters will be prosecuted" meant the store owner was going to take anyone he found stealing stuff out back and shoot him!
Used to be absolutely certain that if I didn't make it back to my room before the toilet cistern finished filling then The Incredible Hulk would chase me down. Quite what The Hulk was supposed to be doing in my toilet, I'm not sure.
I had a really scientific explanation for why poop was brown when I was little... First of all, people eat lots of food at picnics, and picnics only take place on sunny days, and the sun makes your skin brown, so the color of poop was caused by the food rolling down the inside of your skin picking up your sun tan.
I thought that in cinemas, all the dust particles that you could see lit up in the beam of light from the projector were actually thousands of little pieces of the film travelling to the screen to make the picture!
When I was little, I used to be afraid of the deep end of swimming pools because I thought that people kept their pet sharks there.
When I was little, a slew of "don't drink and drive" campaigns began playing more and more often on the radio and television. I didn't take long before I was interrogating my father, caught red-handed, sipping from his can of pepsi while taking me with him to the grocery store. - seems they left a pretty important detail out of the slogan.
when i was like 7 i thought that heaven was a really big hotel where everyone had their own room, and depending on how good a person was during their life, determined how nice of a room they got. i was always afraid that god would run out of rooms and i wouldn't get one
A good friend of mine, as a small child in a religious household, somehow concluded that when people put their hands together in the praying position, it was because God was supposed to somehow be between their hands. She would always keep her hands a little ways apart when praying so as not to squash God, which she thought seemed rude of others not to do.
My mother told me that Jesus lived inside me, so I figured the only place he would fit is in my stomach. I imagined a landscape of chicken legs and vegetables where he walked around in his robes...
I used to think that, in the monarchy, brothers and sisters had to get married to make a King and Queen. I was wonderfully unaware of the word 'incest'.