By the immaculate conception of the virgin Mary, I used to think that that meant that she was a virgin and that Jesus somehow just appeared- as in Mary was never pregnant in the first place. I also felt bad for Joseph because Mary cheated on him with God.

Smart Alec

When I was about 4 my family went on a vecation to spain. At the hotel resort we staied at there was a bartender named Jesus.
I always mixed God and Jesus up, so when I got back home I told all my frinds that God lives in spain and works in a bar.

Magnus

My best friend and I met secretly to dig a hole in between our yards. We were convinced that we could dig down to where Satan lived and tell him that he was stupid and he would stop being mean.

About 2 or 3 feet in to digging the hole, a thunderstorm came, and at the first strike of lightning, we were convinced he was trying to get us so we ran home and didn't go near the hole for weeks.

K

When I was maybe 7 or 8, I used to try and imagine how big God actually was. I would try and "logically" figure out his size based on the size of cities and states. Like his hand had to be as big as California.

Dawn

when i was a kid, i saw a TV special about the US Marines stunt pilot team, the "Blue Angels", who flew F-18 fighter jets.

Because they were called "Blue Angels", i assumed that the fighter jets were, literally, "Angels", like the ones in the Bible. I had seen pictures of traditional angels in Sunday school, but i assumed that they had changed their form over the years and now looked like jets.

When i learned about the Biblical "rapture", i pictured jet fighters growing gangly cartoonish arms and swooping down from the sky to grab Christians and wisk them away to heaven.

Meesa

One time I asked my mom who Jesus was, and she said "He was a good man". To me a "good man" was someone who wore a business suit and carried a briefcase, so that's how I pictured Jesus for a long time.

Anon

My daddy took me to church every Sunday. I heard the preacher talk about the Father. Being only about 4 or 5 at the time, I just naturally assumed that he was talking about my father which meant that my father was obviously God. Then I had an accident and broke my leg. My grandfather (my daddy's daddy) got really upset that I had not been taken to the doctor and he YELLED at my daddy. Then the most shocking thing happened. My daddy said "Yes, sir" to my grandfather. Well! I had apparently been wrong. My grandfather must be God...and that meant that my daddy was Jesus. So I asked him why he had changed his name to Raymond. When he figured out what I believed he had to set me straight.

Gabby

I really wasn't brought up very religious. I knew who God was but for some reason was confused on who Jesus was. I thought Jesus sounded like a girl's name.. so I thought Jesus was God's wife. I was a strange kid...

Sarah

When I was little I used to think that God looked like the KFC colonel who lived in the heaven and never slept while he watches over us. I also used to think that he always smiles...

Dylan Alfensone

I used to believe that God and Mother Nature were married.

Anon

My Dad used to always say "Born in a barn" if I left the door open. I believed this to be true and told all my friends I had been born in a barn like Jesus.

Z

WHen i was little, I thought God looked exactly like the fairy godmother from cinderalla!

dandi

When I was young, I asked my parents where Hell was. They told me it was under the ground. I pictured the Devil living about four inches under the surface of the earth. This, naturally, made me terrified of digging a hole. Not a good belief for a child who lived on a farm and was expected to help with the planting! (Oh, I was also terrified of sticks that were partially buried. I thought they were the Devil's horns and refused to approach them.)

Anon

I used to think that Jesus was killed by a guy called The Conscious Pilot. And I was like "but I didn't think they had ariplanes back then"

M!ke

The custodian at my elementary school had a family name, as is traditional in many Latino families. He never told me his name, but I could read his nametag, and for years I was terrified of him because I thought JESUS had come back to earth as was promised at church - but as a big, gruff custodian with a tattoo.

jaia

I knew that Christmas was a birthday party for Jesus, and who comes on Christmas? Santa Claus. So of course, Santa was Jesus after he got old.

Elizabeth

I used to believe that when you could actually see the sun beams in the sky, that Jesus was coming to take us all. I always saw the sunbeams in the pictures with Jesus in them and I was terrified of sunsets where they showed up because I was sure I was going to die.

gelinda

When i was a kid i used to think that the Holy Trinity was made up of 4 people. Father, Son, Holy and Ghost.

It sounds better in my native tongue (Portuguese)

Zeca

When I was little, I was positive God looked like Mister Rogers. So whenever I prayed, I had to picture Mister Rogers in my mind or else my prayer would never get to God.

Laura

The Adam and Eve story confused me a bit. I was pretty sure that if we all came from the same two people then we were inbred.

Lilly