my sister told me that angels were always watching me, which is supposed to be comforting, but i was terrified. i had to sleep in my parents' room because i thought they were all staring at me through my bedroom windows.

little kids are stupid.

I used to believe that Jesus was buried in the cemetery near my house and actually once went there to look for his gravestone.

James

I used to believe that Jesus and all of the wise men lived under my bed.

wuteve

i used to believe that I could contact god by tying a letter to a helium balloon and letting it go in my backyard.

Anon

As a little girl, my mother took me to visit her godmother, an extremely old woman with lots of religious pictures/statures, etc. Since she was so old, and had pictures of Jesus everywhere, and I apparently mis-heard "God's mother", I truly thought she was the Blessed Mother. I was terrified of misbehaving. Even though her name was Cecilia, I figured it was a decoy so other people wouldn't mob her.

Anon

My sister told me that the Holy Spirit was just some guy that turned himself into a dove. Yeah... that was really embarrassing when my religion teacher asked us who the Holy Spirit was and I responded with that question. I was sure I was right! Thanks sis!

hifidigitalboy

When i was about 4 to about 7 i thought god looked like the Count form Sesame Street, just not as a pupet, but as a purple person.

Crazy 7

As a little Jewish girl, I couldn't understand my Christian friends concept of Easter. They would say "The Son rises", and I would think, "So what, it rises every day!"

Undomiel

I once asked my young uncle how Jesus got into your heart. He said, "Through your ears". For years I covered my ears with the blanket at night as I slept.

Anon

When I was little, my mom told me God was watching me all the time. So I would spend a great deal of time just staring up at the sky waiting for a giant eyeball to open up out of it and look back at me.

Kayla

I made my first communion when I was eight. In the catechism classes we had to prepare us for it, the teachers told us that once we took communion, Jesus would live inside us forever.

So when I got home after the Mass and was just sitting around waiting for my aunts and uncles to arrive for my communion party, I was amazed to see that the skin on my chest was moving up and down slightly as if being hit from the inside. Really it was just my heart beating, but I had never noticed it before and I thought it was Jesus inside me, kicking me to let me know he was in there!

Mandi

When i was little, at church they always used to tell us that Jesus was in our heart.
So when my friend's granddad had a heart operation I asked him if they found Jesus.
I'd always imagined a little mini Jesus running around in my heart.

Becci

I used to think that the small sheep on a picture my mam had of jesus birth in the stable was "Worthy" the lamb. This was due to the part of the catholic mass that goes "Worthy the lamb of God, who takes aways the sins of the world. Blessed are we who are called to his supper."

Mal

Whenever I saw the movie Joseph and the Amazing Technocolor Dreamcoat, it showed the pharoe dressed like Elvis at one point and singing like him. (This was a joke because they called Elvis the King and whatever). I really thought that in real life Elvis was the pharoe and that this didn't take place in the biblical times, but when my parents were kids.

Adam

As a child, I went to a Christian school and they always told us that one day we were going to meet god. Subsequently, I thought "god" was an actual person. As in, someone we were going to meet for lunch one day. I was downtrodden to find this wasn't the case.

The Incredible Mr. Yes Yes

I was raised in an Athiest environment, so naturally, I didn't know hardly anything about the Christian religion until neighbours and classmates told me about it. When I was around 4 years old one of my older neighbours explained to me the story of Jesus Christ, saying that he was my saviour and he died on the cross for my sins. Having explained what sins were but not understanding what a cross was, I understood that somebody died on some railroad crossing trying to save me for some bad things I had done. My parents ended up laughing at how upset I got.

Hallie

When I was really little my mother told me that Jesus was in everything. Of course, I interpreted that as meaning that he made up the mass of all things, such as the inside of the walls, and that's how he knew everything a person was doing and whether they were sinning. When I was about 7 or 8, I cut my arm on a rock, and a layer of my skin was coming off. I was really scared because I was unaware that people had "layers" of skin, and I convinced myself that I had found Jesus. I tried to peel of the rest of my skin so I could meet Him, and apologize for all my sins and that he had to live inside of me, but it was too painful and I gave up. Then I started to cry because I was worried Jesus would be mad at me because I couldn't free him from my skin.

Amy L. M.

I used to not know who Jesus Christ (i Dint even know he was a person) and thought his name was pronounced "Cheeses Christ". I believed that Cheeses Christ was a cheese and also something you sa ywhen you get mad. I could never figure out why someone would talk about Cheese when they are mad.

Anon

As a child in Sunday School, I read in the Bible that Jesus healed people with divers diseases. What the heck kind of disease could a scuba diver get? It makes a big difference when you add the letter e to divers.

J Boyd

i used to believe that god gave everyone the same amount of money in the beginning and all the people in poor places like africa wasted theres and all the rich people spended there wisely

jane