when i was little (although this continued to a surprisingly late age) i believed that jesus was born on dec. 25 and died on easter OF THE SAME YEAR. it made sense because no one ever talks about when jesus was a little boy. but i could never work out how he grew up so fast, but i figured it must be because he was magic and stuff.

karen, ny

When I was a kid in the 80's, I watched a lot of "Family Ties" and the "Back to the Future" series.

Like any being that I was not able to physically see, such as a character in a story, I used my imagination to create an image of what I though they looked like.

I envisioned (and believed) God as having the face of Michael J. Fox.

Andrew

I used to believe that it was unfair that i had to go to church (Jesus's House) and that he was mean because he never came to vist me at my house!

Melainie -Darwin,NT

I used to believe that if you picked up the phone and dialed 999-9999, you would reach Satan. I think I heard this from my brother, joking at some point. When I finally got the nerve to try calling, it didn't connect to anyone, so I assumed God had cut off his phone.

Anon

My Grandmother used to tell me that the angels were watching me fom "up there" and she would point upwards. For years I thought there were tiny angels living on the curtain rods.

H.B.

I used to believe that god was the newscaster.

belle

I used to believe that the Bible was written by Moses, with God whispering everything in his ear, in English.

Jj

I was raised in a non-religious household, so my ideas about got and religion were pretty sketchy. I knew that OTHER people knew this God guy, and that they talked to him and everything because I had seen people praying and preaching and all. Until I was about 8 I believed that God existed, but he just didn't know about me. Like I was flying under his radar or something. I mean, he hadn't been talking to me like he talked to other people! Every now and then I'd consider sitting down and introducing myself to God, just so he'd know I was there. But then I'd get nervous that he would be mad at me for not introducing myself earlier. So I just kept putting it off...

Melissa

I thought that the star that Mary and Joseph followed was called Yonder, as in 'following Yonder star."

Kairow

I thought that the animals went in two by two for company. I thought Noah was concerned about them getting lonely so invited two of each kind along. It was only recently at the age of 25 that someone pointed out to me the real reason.

Anon

No joke- I used to think the religious hierarchy went (low to high) God, then Santa Claus, then this oddly shaped piece of black plastic that I found.

Kitten

We used to drive past a cake shop that had a sign saying "God" and in smaller letters, "Have an affair with a caterer". It really puzzled me that God would say adultery was wrong and then make an exception for caterers, but I reasoned that He must really like cakes.

Much later, I realised the "God" was the street number of the shop: "600".

Mel

I used to believe that three sheep dogs named Shirley, Gooodness, and Mercy would "follow me all the days of my life" while I dwelled "in the house of the Lord, forever." After all, "The Lord is my shepherd..."

Carrie

When I was about 9 My Uncle told me "God is just." I would get upset, asking him to finish his sentence "Just what?!" Since I only knew on definition of 'just'.

He always laughed at my frustration.

God is just awesome.

When I was a kid I used to believe that Jesus had no penis (!) since someone of that kind of divinity couldn't be disgraced with having such a 'dirty' part of body. Then, when on religion lession I heard about circumcision of Jesus (I already knew what that meant) I simply stood up and exclaimed: "What do you mean, it couldn't be done on him, how can you even think about Jesus having... that?" to the laughter of whole class, man what an idiot I was!

Sexy Pony

I used to think virgin mary was actually 'virginia mary'

Anon

I used to have an irrational fear of devils and Hell and death. I was terrified of the color red, thinking it would open some portal into Hell. (For example, I had a red nightstand in my room, and I couldn't look at it at night, thinking it would summon the devil.) When we moved to Florida, the song "Devil Went Down to Georgia" was popular, and I was sure he'd come get me. I prayed several times a night and wouldn't move my lips for fear the devil was watching and would read my lips and harm the people I was asking God to bless. My Dad then told me that the devil can look like anyone -- he can take on the shape of anyone or anything you know. The only way to tell that it's the devil is that one part of his body would be an animal's (i.e., he'd look exactly like my dad, but have one hoof). Until I was 12 or so, I scrutinized everyone I saw -- looking for animal parts -- fearful they were the devil in disguise, coming to kill me. I was a nervous child.

Siobhan

I used to think that the devil lived in the sewers. Whenever there was steam coming out of the sewers, I thought that meant he was cooking up an evil plan.

Maya

When I was much younger, my vision of Allah, or God, was like the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz. I still can't help but imagine that when I die, I'm going to be in the cornfield of the sky.

Tanya

After many years as a kid I realized the "Creature" next door was really the preacher next door.

...sever disappointment ensued.

Dan W.