I thought that the animals went in two by two for company. I thought Noah was concerned about them getting lonely so invited two of each kind along. It was only recently at the age of 25 that someone pointed out to me the real reason.

Anon

We used to drive past a cake shop that had a sign saying "God" and in smaller letters, "Have an affair with a caterer". It really puzzled me that God would say adultery was wrong and then make an exception for caterers, but I reasoned that He must really like cakes.

Much later, I realised the "God" was the street number of the shop: "600".

Mel

I used to believe that three sheep dogs named Shirley, Gooodness, and Mercy would "follow me all the days of my life" while I dwelled "in the house of the Lord, forever." After all, "The Lord is my shepherd..."

Carrie

When I was about 9 My Uncle told me "God is just." I would get upset, asking him to finish his sentence "Just what?!" Since I only knew on definition of 'just'.

He always laughed at my frustration.

God is just awesome.

When I was a kid I used to believe that Jesus had no penis (!) since someone of that kind of divinity couldn't be disgraced with having such a 'dirty' part of body. Then, when on religion lession I heard about circumcision of Jesus (I already knew what that meant) I simply stood up and exclaimed: "What do you mean, it couldn't be done on him, how can you even think about Jesus having... that?" to the laughter of whole class, man what an idiot I was!

Sexy Pony

My parents never taught us to be very religious, once when visiting my grandmother, she put us to Sunday school.

After the lesson grandmother asked us what we had learned, and I pointed at my little brother announcing the only thing the lesson had left in my mind: "you are Jesus Christ, God's son!"

Obviously, my brother was the only person I had heard to be referred as "son", so of course he was Jesus.

the sister of Jesus

I was raised by my uncle who I used to believe was God. I thought when he went to work he sorted through lists of good and bad people, and then faxed these lists to Santa.

Rettie

I used to have an irrational fear of devils and Hell and death. I was terrified of the color red, thinking it would open some portal into Hell. (For example, I had a red nightstand in my room, and I couldn't look at it at night, thinking it would summon the devil.) When we moved to Florida, the song "Devil Went Down to Georgia" was popular, and I was sure he'd come get me. I prayed several times a night and wouldn't move my lips for fear the devil was watching and would read my lips and harm the people I was asking God to bless. My Dad then told me that the devil can look like anyone -- he can take on the shape of anyone or anything you know. The only way to tell that it's the devil is that one part of his body would be an animal's (i.e., he'd look exactly like my dad, but have one hoof). Until I was 12 or so, I scrutinized everyone I saw -- looking for animal parts -- fearful they were the devil in disguise, coming to kill me. I was a nervous child.

Siobhan

I used to think that the devil lived in the sewers. Whenever there was steam coming out of the sewers, I thought that meant he was cooking up an evil plan.

Maya

When I was much younger, my vision of Allah, or God, was like the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz. I still can't help but imagine that when I die, I'm going to be in the cornfield of the sky.

Tanya

After many years as a kid I realized the "Creature" next door was really the preacher next door.

...sever disappointment ensued.

Dan W.

No joke- I used to think the religious hierarchy went (low to high) God, then Santa Claus, then this oddly shaped piece of black plastic that I found.

Kitten

When my goldfish died we flushed it down the toilet and my mum said that it had gone to heaven. So i said God lives in heaven and she said yes. So from then on i believed that God lived down the LOO!

Anon

I used to believe that God was Zordon from the power rangers.... heh

Dawnie

I used to believe that God was the fairy godmother from Disney's Cinderella.

Danielle

I think I was about six when I asked my mother after Sunday school one morning why they kept crucifying Jesus every year on Good Friday. I mean, after all, they knew he was going to come back to life three days later! He'd been doing this every year for almost 2000 years now...

lala

When i was little
i used to think
the monopoly man
was what god looked like.

so i would imagine
little monopoly angels
and the huge monopoly man
god watching over me.

too many boredgames

When I was little I attended sunday school regularly, so I knew God sat in heaven and Jesus sat at his right hand. Wile trying to figure out how Santa, just as great as the above mentioned fit into the mix, I decided he must have sat at Gods left hand.

Amanda

I used to think God was actually called Peter, because at church, we all used to say 'Thanks Peter God'.....when really, its thanks BE to God!

Anon

I used to think that God looked like/ was Mr. Peanut. He was a giant peanut with a top hat, monacle and cane.

Erica