At my school there was a music teacher that came every tuesday and taught this girl how to play the tuba when ever he would come he had on all white and strappy sandals and had long hair it took me and my friends forever to learn that it wasn't jesus

hoho

My CCD teacher always talked about "letting Jesus into the room in your heart". My parents never really raised me Catholic, and I never really thought religiously, so I would go home wondering about rooms in my heart, which I never thought about as this wondrous emotional thing, more as a mass of beating organ...and how it was furnished and the fact that there was a door on my heart, and why the hell Jesus was allowed in there??? I didn't tell him he could go in....

Anon

Not mine, but my brother's-
My young brother, when told he was a child of Jesus, began to look terrified and started to panic. When we asked what was wrong, he wailed 'No child of see-sus! I mommy's child!'

Suprisingly, our pastor was the first to laugh.

A bad big sister

I used to think that Jesus was burried in our local grave yard because there was a statue of him on one of the graves.

Kathryn

There were several small holes in the dirt around my house. When I was about 6, I used to brush loose dirt and small rocks into them. When people asked what I was doing, I'd tell them, "I'm throwing stuff down to Hell so it'll hit Satan on the head!"

Joey

Growing up in West Virginia, my mom's friend and her siblings used to run across abandoned mines b/c the rumblings of built up carbon gas they heard was thought to be the devil trying to reach up and pull them into the mine below!

Anon

I used to think that Jesus had magically grown up into an adult in the three months between Christmas and Easter. If he could come back to life, then why not?

jnr

i used to believe that my mom was born during the time Jesus was alive, and that she knew him very well, because she always said Jesus died for her sins, i thought he had been accused of something she'd done, it wasnt until a year or so later that i found out the truth in church, when they said Jesus died for everyone's sins...lol

Holly

My friend used to believe that Jesus was a horrible evil man who nailed people to a cross. She got the whole thing rather twisted but was seriously freaked out by the second coming theory. Gah.

Anon

In my youth, I envisioned god to be shaped like a diaper with a bearded face on it. I didn't associate his shape with diapers, that's just the best way to descirbe it. I can't even begin to imagine where I got that idea from.

Ray.

My first exposure to the concept of God was when my parents informed me of a big, all-powerful Dog (God backwards, get it?) that lived in the sky. I believed this for a little while, at least.

Eddie

My friend used to believe that Adam and Eve were buried under her church's library! She was so scared of it afterwards, even when another friend told her that it was a big April Fool's joke.

Andrea Hall

between my mothers latin american easter story and my fathers american version i got very confused. i had this strange idea that a massive baby jesus delivered easter baskets. i just recently figured out how i came up with this theory.

bia

en i was little, i saw a picture of a big round purple monster in a book. i used to believe that God looked exactly like that, and he lived in a stable that floated in the sky!

x Cari x

As a small child, I learned in Sunday School that Christ was born in December and that he was crucified in late March or April. I was confused about how he managed to do so much in just four months.

Dave

When I was a kid, I had this statue of Abraham Lincoln posed like the Lincoln Memorial on my nightstand. In my mind, that was what God looked like. I mean, we had pictures of what Jesus was supposed to look like, and a Dove was the Holy Spirit. But no one ever said was "God the Father" looked like.

So in my mind, God looked like Abe Lincoln!

Trish

When I was younger I belived that the man who lived across the street from me was Jesus. He had a beard and a mustash and long brown hair and he looked like Jesus. He also drove the garbage truck around town.. So aparently Jesus has came back, and instead of starting the apacolipse he decided to screw it and become a garbage man in Jersey

Jen

When I was little I though "A Cross" was a mud/tar pit and that Jesus drowned.

Usagi Ohkami

I used to believe the reason St. Peter crucified was upside down was because the arm parts of the cross broke off.

Anon

My older brother used to tell me that if I opened my eyes during prayer at chuch the Holy Spirit would come and get me. You better beleive that for the very influential years of my life that I closed by eyes so tight at chruch that it hurt...anything would be better than the Holy Spirit coming to get you.

Caldwell Texas