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My family used to tell me that everyone had a piece of Jesus in their hearts. I was certain that I got the foot, and often wondered who got the genitalia.
Back in the day when I was a little kid I used to believe that Satan was under the ground we all walked on. So, I figured since he's doing evil things to people, might as well give some pay back by just stomping on the ground.
I used to believe that God looked like the genie from Aladdin, except that he was so big that he actually surround the whole earth and that is why the sky looked blue - it was actually just god's belly.
When I was about six or seven years old, I came to the sudden realization that maybe God DIDN'T look like the man that was on the Pringles can. I had always imagined him with that horrible comb-over and mustache.
I live in Bethlehem and there's a mountain right by my house that has the bethlehem star on it, when I was maybe 3 my cousin pointed to the star and said that's where jesus was born but I thought she was pointing to the street lamp across the street so until I was prob. eight I thought jesus was born in a street lamp!
Until I was 8, I thought Jesus was a woman. They told me he was nice and kind to people. I didn't know any men like that.
We live in the city and when my son was about 7, the sirens around the city went off for their monthly tests to make sure they were all working. "This is a test of the severe weather alert...this is just a test", well my son was outside playing when it went off and ran inside the house and told me and my husband that "God was talking outside", it was the cutest thing ever.
That nuns had no feet. I lived next door to a convent and as a 4 or 5 year old, when they walked by my house in their flowing black habits, they all seemed to be floating past, not walking like other people did.
I used to believe that black and white animals i.e, pandas, penguins, zebras, white tigers, etc. were the ones God had forgotten to color in his coloring book.
I was brought up as a Catholic so I completely believed that because Eve was made from one of Adam's ribs that women had one more set of ribs then men do. I believed this until my wife and I were getting an ultrasound of our triplets and the technician said she could not get a good enough picture to tell if one of the babys was a boy or a girl. Since we could clearly see the ribs I asked her why she didn't just count them to tell the sex of the baby. When she realized I was serious she started to laugh uncontrollably.
When i was about 5 and a teacher aked me what Jesus did at Easter, I told them he put the crosses on the hot cross buns in the hot cross bun factory
I used to believe that God looked like Abraham Lincoln, only made out of clouds, and he would sit at a big cloud desk and do business type things...angels on different clouds would call him on his cloud phone and prayers were recorded on his cloud answering machine...
I found out that Hitler's first name was Adolf, and somehow connected this with Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer. And then I started thinking that Santa was Hitler. I thought Santa/Hitler would come down the chimney at Christmas and gas me!
My daughter used to believe that God's first name was Howard because of the Lord's Prayer "...hallowed (Howard) be thy name." I almost didn't have the heart to correct her.
When I was little I used to believe that people had to ask god's permission before they could use fireworks because they would be disturbing the people in heaven.
When I was a kid, I used to believe that since Jesus was born on Christmas and died on Easter, one of his miracles was that he aged 33 years in 4 months.
When I was a kid, I thought all bishops moved diagonally.
I used to think that god looked like King Rollo (off UK kids TV) in fact whenever the subject of God comes up I still picture a cartoon king with black hair and beard, red gowns and a big gold crown
when i was about 6 and my family was still quite catholic, my mum told me about how "God is always with you," and that sort of thing. i took this very literally, and believed that god was hiding under my bed. so rather than checking the bed or the wardrobe for monsters before bedtime, i checked to see if god was there
You know in Pac man when those evil things chase you around?
I used to think that that's what Satan looked like.
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