I used to believe that everyone whose name was biblical would inevitably play out the life story of his or her namesake. Since my name is Sarah, I was convinced that I would marry a man named Abraham and have a son named Isaac. I was very upset that my parents named me after someone who had laughed at God, so around age 5 I apologized to God in advance. Also, my sister Amie was born that year, and I envied her for not being doomed to the fate of any biblical character.

Sarah

My mother, a kindergarten teacher, asked a kid in class to explain his drawing: a nativity scene inside an airplane. He said it showed Mary and Joseph on The Flight to Egypt. And the guy in the cockpit was Pontius the Pilot.

Zachary

When I was a kid, I thought all bishops moved diagonally.

Matt Maiorano

My family used to tell me that everyone had a piece of Jesus in their hearts. I was certain that I got the foot, and often wondered who got the genitalia.

Apologetic for the Perversions

I used to believe that everything big was something God owned. So if I saw a huge pair of sunglasses (those ridiculous plastic neon ones) or an enormous footprint-shaped stain on my mattress base, I would say "Look mummy! That's God's footprint" It's still a bit of an amusing game to play I guess.

Natalya

I used to think that god looked like King Rollo (off UK kids TV) in fact whenever the subject of God comes up I still picture a cartoon king with black hair and beard, red gowns and a big gold crown

Stephanie

when i was about 6 and my family was still quite catholic, my mum told me about how "God is always with you," and that sort of thing. i took this very literally, and believed that god was hiding under my bed. so rather than checking the bed or the wardrobe for monsters before bedtime, i checked to see if god was there

theologically confused bob

During a trip with a stop in Trail, British Columbia,we went to the MacDonald's for a bite.My mother took me to the adjoining playground,where there were statues of the MacDonald's characters.The statue of Grimace seemed very large to my child's eyes, and the expression on his face seemed loving and forgiving.Having always heard that God is loving and forgiving,I decided that He must look like Grimace.I couldn't shake this belief even when I was very much old enough to know better.

Lainey

In 1st grade, my teacher told us to draw a scene from the Bible. I drew Adam, Eve and the serpent prior to the Fall from grace, and I gave the serpent legs. "Why does the serpent have legs?" my teacher asked. "Well," I answered, "as a punishment for making Eve eat from the apple, God told it "upon thy belly shalt thou go", which means that prior to man's fall the serpent did not crawl but walk."

This isn't true??

sharpest knife in the drawer

I used to believe that God looked like Abraham Lincoln, only made out of clouds, and he would sit at a big cloud desk and do business type things...angels on different clouds would call him on his cloud phone and prayers were recorded on his cloud answering machine...

JaMiE

When I was about 6 years old I went to church for the first time and someone there told me that God was everything. I then pictured God to be a giant pile of household appliances and furniture, mostly consisting of washing machines and couches.

Rayray

I always thought 'virgin' was Marys star sign and could never work out why it was such a big deal

Anon

My Uncle Randy is a pastor. When he talked about God creating us, I would always imagine Jesus sitting in front of an art easel painting a picture of some one before they were born.

Jessica Tinch

I used to believe that God looked like the genie from Aladdin, except that he was so big that he actually surround the whole earth and that is why the sky looked blue - it was actually just god's belly.

Anon

I used to believe that the Holy Ghost was a little green version of Cousin It that lived in the boiler room at the church building. He didn't even speak English, he spoke it-ese or something.

Megan

You know in Pac man when those evil things chase you around?

I used to think that that's what Satan looked like.

Shirley

When I was little I used to believe that people had to ask god's permission before they could use fireworks because they would be disturbing the people in heaven.

Xri

As a child I believed I could correspond with God via letters. I wrote to him frequently releasing the paper into the wind. Eventually I realised he didnt write back and there were sheets of paper scattered throughout my yard.

Chrysi

I used to believe that the reason we celebrated Jesus's birthday was because he was born on Christmas day. I didn't get the fact that Jesus's birth made it Christmas, I just thought the reason people prayed to him and celebrated him and sang to him and all the rest of it was because he happened to have been born at Christmas. This used to puzzle me because I knew another boy who's birthday was on Christmas day, and I wondered why people didn't also praise HIM, pray to HIM make him an idol etc like they did with Jesus, even though he also had been born on the special day of Christmas.

anon

Originally I thought that God lived on top of the clouds. The Care Bears changed that! They lived on top of the clouds so, God must live in space among the stars or on the moon.

Anon