When I was little I asked our pastor if God was everywhere. He said Yes. Then I asked if that meant that God was in my stomach. He said well, yes, that too. I went around for a while very worried about digesting God and hoping he liked whatever food I had for dinner.

Kate

I always thought that Jesus must really be special because he grew to be a man in only 5 months (Christmas to Easter)

Liz

Born and raised Catholic with Mexican parents, my Mom never used the x-mas tree but the Nativity Scene. She told me that the 3 Wisemen will start walking towards Baby Jesus after Dec 25th to get there on Jan 6th. So I used to believe that the actually moved overnight and everymorning I would measured how much they moved the night before.

Kip

When i was little i was told God had lots of power so i always pictured him sitting in a big throne in and electric sub-station

lemmy

I used to believe that Satan travelled in a hot air balloon because I was told that he could see everything, so I presumed he was high up. Still don't know why he used a hot air balloon and not an airplane!!!

Adele

In grade five I believed that 'virgin' was synonomous with 'a kind person', like the Virgin Mary. I couldn't understand the shrieks of my classmates when I exclaimed in an argument that I wasn't *always* a virgin!

pure of heart and hard of head

I used to believe that the Jesus on the Crucifixes was the real Jesus that had shrunk somehow. I would always try to feed it little bits of food because he looked really hungry and nobody ever fed him.

Danie

I once asked my dad what Jesus' surname was, and he said it was 'Sinclair'.

I believed it for years!

Rebekah

I live in Bethlehem and there's a mountain right by my house that has the bethlehem star on it, when I was maybe 3 my cousin pointed to the star and said that's where jesus was born but I thought she was pointing to the street lamp across the street so until I was prob. eight I thought jesus was born in a street lamp!

Rachel Lied To Me.

I thought god looked like the face on the play-doh can!

Jonathan Franz

At one time, I believed that Satan's true form was that demonic dog from Looney Toons (the red one with the powerful voice and horns.)

enigma

At Sunday School, we were taught about 'the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost'. The first two I could always cope with meeting, but I lived in dreadful terror of bumping into the Holy Ghost!

Small wonder, then, that I turned out to be atheist...

Lee (England)

From as far back as I can remember until sometime in junior high I believed that nuns were actually criminals and that being a nun was part of their punishment. I went to Catholic school in the 3rd grade. When someone did something wrong a nun would take them in this little room in the back of our classroom and you could always hear the kid screaming. The kid would stay in there even when we went to lunch, but when we came back the kid would be back and sitting quietly in their desk. I always thought that if I did something wrong that the nuns would open up there outfits like a jacket and they would have an assorment of guns lined up, like street vendors with watches, and they would kill me and I would go to heaven so God would have a talk with me about being a bad girl and put a curse on me to make me behave. Then he would send my soul back.

Anna

I used to believe that God and Mary were married and they got divorced and Mary married Joseph and then Mary and Joseph had Jesus

Theresa

When I was about six or seven years old, I came to the sudden realization that maybe God DIDN'T look like the man that was on the Pringles can. I had always imagined him with that horrible comb-over and mustache.

Lauryn

When I was around five my grandmother read me a Bible story, the one about the garden of Eden and all that Jazz. Unfortuantely, she had a very hard to understand Ukranian accent and I couldn't understand her for the most part. As a result, I walked away from the story under the impression that both snakes and apples were evil, and refused to eat apples from that day until I grew a brain.

Crazy Elf

I used to believe that Jesus and his disciples must have had very smelly feet... because the Bible always talked about how they had their feet washed when they went into people's houses.

Anon

When I was a young lad I used to believe that Jesus's last name was Murphy. I would hear my father saying it all the time "Jesus H. Murphy". Needless to say this belief ended with a conference between my Sunday School teacher and my parents.

Ghastly

When I was very young, my older sister tried explaining to me about God and what he does.

She told me that God was like a magician and that He created me...

I then of course imagined for years that God was a stage magician with a black top hat, a black curly mustache, a wand, and a long cape...

I imagined Heaven to be a big magic show in which God pulled babies out of hats much like magicians do with rabbits

Daron

I used to think God was Captain Planet.

Anon