When I was small my parents gave me a savings account at the bank and I used to put away part of my Christmas money every year and watch the interest added up on the book. Just after I learned to read I saw a sign that read. "Jesus Saves!" Thereafter I believed that Jesus also had a savings passbook and collected interest regularly. I can distinctly remember walking up to the bank teller to deposit some Christmas money and when she had noted the addition to my savings account and handed me my passbook I gleefully said, "Jesus saves!" It felt so good to be doing my Christian duty by saving money. This rite was mine until I was ten years old.

Larry

When I was young I remember the vicar telling us "Jesus died so that everyone else may live", but he didn't explain how exactly this worked. So I imagined the devil holding a gun to Jesus' head saying "Right Jesus, either I shoot you or I shoot everyone else on this planet."

This also meant that I didn't understand why everyone made such a big deal about his "sacrifice", since it was the obvious choice.

Caroline

When I was little I attended a religious kindergarten..Everyday our teachers would sing a song and play the piano and call it "One of God's songs" ..so one day at home my mom overheard my friend tell me that he should be able to play with a certain toy of mine because "God made it, he makes everything".. and I replied "No he does NOT..all God does is write piano music!"

Caja

I used to think that the sky was blue because God, a handsome, toga wearing, blonde man in his 20's, would get all the animals in the forest to stand one by one on each others' shoulders and hold up a piece of blue construction paper. Obviously, night was black construction paper.

Mark Gould

One time in Sunday School, my teacher told me that Jesus was always with us. I asked if he lived down the street from me then, and the teacher answered, "Yes of course, he is everywhere." When I went home that night I confused the crap out of my parents when I kept on wanting to go to the neighbors house to see Jesus.

Aaron Guck

I used to believe that God and Santa were the same thing. They both see you when you're sleeping and know when you're awake, they know if you've been bad or good, you ask them for things and sometimes you get them, and they both live somewhere up high but nobody ever sees them. So when I was first introduced to the concept of God in Kindergarten, I thought I had to structure my prayers like a letter including my name, address, and telephone number at the end of each prayer.

Katie

This iz really weird, but when I was little, I thought God looked like Inspector Gadget with a surgical mask on. I have NO clue why!

La Blue Eyes

at school we was taught that god lived 'above us' i lived in an apartment at the time and i use to believe the man on the floor above was god and i used to shout my prayers so he could hear me.

jamie

In my pre-school years, I believed I was in a story book that God was looking at. A new day would dawn when the He turned the page.

coujam

I believed very literally my sunday school teaching that "God knows you so well, He even knows the number of hairs on your head." So, every time I brushed my hair and some hairs came out on the brush, I would silently apologize to God for giving Him something else to have to keep track of, given all the more important things He had to do...

Vickie Pain

I used to believe that Jesus was crucified in Pantasaph near my home town in North Wales. I was always fascinated by his ability to talk in tongues as that was obviously why no-one referred directly to him speaking Welsh.

Jo

I used to believe that Jesus was born on Christmas (December 25th) and died on Easter, and was really, REALLY busy getting all the stuff in the Bible done in the 100-150 days between the two!

It wasn't for quite a while that I realized that he lived a little bit longer than from Christmas to the next Easter Sunday!

Just call me slow

When I was really young the Bee Gee's were HUGE. After seeing Andy Gibb in a video, complete with long hair and beard, I thought he was Jesus. I asked my mom if he was Jesus and she vehemently insisted he wasn't. I didn't beleive my mom cause I always thought Jesus was cool and if he wanted to be in a musical group he could be.

annaliesa!

When I was little my family was Catholic. We went to church on Sundays and celebrated the usual holidays. I was too young to understand any of it, so I came up with some weird impressions of what was Catholic and wasn't.

My grandmother was probably the most religious person in the family. I stayed with her a lot during summers when my parents were working. She had pictures and statues of The Virgin Mary in various places around her house. She had a massive vanity full of make-up and bottles of perfume. Every morning, she put Oil of Olay lotion on her face. Because of the way the illustration of the woman's face on the bottle resembled a woman wearing a veil, I believed that Oil of Olay lotion was a lotion The Virgin Mary manufactured in heaven. I thought my grandmother had to be an extremely special person because she used it. When she told me not to touch her lotion, I thought it was because I hadn't had my First Communion yet. I also thought something was wrong with my mother because she used Jergens lotion. I thought it was because my family wasn't as religious as my grandmother. I used to sneak dabs of the Oil of Olay, spread it on my face, and close my eyes...waiting for some kind of holy message.

Silly me!

N

My last name is Carpenter. I used to really believe I was related to Jesus. I even quoted verses in the bible where it said that Jesus was a "carpenter".

Leigh

When my family goes to New Hampshire to visit my grandma, we often go to a town called Bethlehem to shop. I used think Jesus was born in New Hampshire!

Emmy

I used to believe my mom's friend's boyfriend was Jesus. He looked like the traditional pictures of Jesus we see in The Bible. I used to scream and hide whenever I saw him; I think because I was too little to comprehend that we knew Jesus!

Holy Cow

In first grade of my Catholic school located in Illinios, it took me three weeks to clarify the following confusion: how could Abraham be the Old Testament leader of the Jewish people and the 16th President of the United States ?

Tmidnight

I attended a convent from ages 6-10. One day, when i was 7 one of the nuns was showing us a video about jesus. We got to the part where baby jesus was laid out on a table, surrounded by bearded men, on wielding a knife. As it dramatically flashed across the screen, accompanied by a piercing cry and followed by the baby jesus sobbing his guts out. I, distressed, asked the nun what they were doing to the poor little baby. She told me they were carving a "J" in his leg for jesus.

Outraged at this shoddy treatment, i told everyone i met about this travesty for years, until someone filled me in on the practice of circumcision.

Anon

My little brother was learning the Lord's prayer for his First Communion, and misheard the "hallowed be thy name" part as "Howard be thy name". Our school bus driver was named Howard. He told me later that he used to feel sorry for all the other kids who weren't lucky enough to have God driving them to school like we did.

ames