At one time, I believed that Satan's true form was that demonic dog from Looney Toons (the red one with the powerful voice and horns.)

enigma

When I was young I remember the vicar telling us "Jesus died so that everyone else may live", but he didn't explain how exactly this worked. So I imagined the devil holding a gun to Jesus' head saying "Right Jesus, either I shoot you or I shoot everyone else on this planet."

This also meant that I didn't understand why everyone made such a big deal about his "sacrifice", since it was the obvious choice.

Caroline

I was brought up Catholic and attended Catechism when I was very young. Anyway, when I was about six or seven years old our teacher told us that we always had to be good because God was EVERYWHERE watching us. She said it in that ominous tone of voice that grown-ups use when they're trying to drive a point home.
This terrified me. I had visions of God watching me go to the bathroom, getting dressed, taking a shower, etc. I decided I was going to have to start hiding from him so I started changing my clothes in my closet. One day my mom caught me and asked me what I was doing and when I explained to her what I was told she told me, "God saw you naked when you were first born, He doesn't care. Now come out of there and get dressed." After that, I didn't have a problem. Of course, now I'm a grown up and I have since stopped believing in the Catholic Church and I'm on the fence about God.

Chelle

When I was around five my grandmother read me a Bible story, the one about the garden of Eden and all that Jazz. Unfortuantely, she had a very hard to understand Ukranian accent and I couldn't understand her for the most part. As a result, I walked away from the story under the impression that both snakes and apples were evil, and refused to eat apples from that day until I grew a brain.

Crazy Elf

I used to think God was Captain Planet.

Anon

When I was small my parents gave me a savings account at the bank and I used to put away part of my Christmas money every year and watch the interest added up on the book. Just after I learned to read I saw a sign that read. "Jesus Saves!" Thereafter I believed that Jesus also had a savings passbook and collected interest regularly. I can distinctly remember walking up to the bank teller to deposit some Christmas money and when she had noted the addition to my savings account and handed me my passbook I gleefully said, "Jesus saves!" It felt so good to be doing my Christian duty by saving money. This rite was mine until I was ten years old.

Larry

I used to believe that Jesus and his disciples must have had very smelly feet... because the Bible always talked about how they had their feet washed when they went into people's houses.

Anon

When I was a young lad I used to believe that Jesus's last name was Murphy. I would hear my father saying it all the time "Jesus H. Murphy". Needless to say this belief ended with a conference between my Sunday School teacher and my parents.

Ghastly

When I was very young, my older sister tried explaining to me about God and what he does.

She told me that God was like a magician and that He created me...

I then of course imagined for years that God was a stage magician with a black top hat, a black curly mustache, a wand, and a long cape...

I imagined Heaven to be a big magic show in which God pulled babies out of hats much like magicians do with rabbits

Daron

I used to think that the sky was blue because God, a handsome, toga wearing, blonde man in his 20's, would get all the animals in the forest to stand one by one on each others' shoulders and hold up a piece of blue construction paper. Obviously, night was black construction paper.

Mark Gould

I used to believe that Jesus was crucified in Pantasaph near my home town in North Wales. I was always fascinated by his ability to talk in tongues as that was obviously why no-one referred directly to him speaking Welsh.

Jo

This iz really weird, but when I was little, I thought God looked like Inspector Gadget with a surgical mask on. I have NO clue why!

La Blue Eyes

When I was little I attended a religious kindergarten..Everyday our teachers would sing a song and play the piano and call it "One of God's songs" ..so one day at home my mom overheard my friend tell me that he should be able to play with a certain toy of mine because "God made it, he makes everything".. and I replied "No he does NOT..all God does is write piano music!"

Caja

When my cousin was younger she went to Sunday school for the first time. She had a lot of fun and just had to tell her dad about everything she learned. Imagen his embarrassment when she proudly exclaimed "I LEARNED ALL ABOUT THE JEWS AND GENITALS!"

LOL

When my family goes to New Hampshire to visit my grandma, we often go to a town called Bethlehem to shop. I used think Jesus was born in New Hampshire!

Emmy

i used to beleve jesus was my moms ex-husbend.

Anon

I used to believe that Jesus was born on Christmas (December 25th) and died on Easter, and was really, REALLY busy getting all the stuff in the Bible done in the 100-150 days between the two!

It wasn't for quite a while that I realized that he lived a little bit longer than from Christmas to the next Easter Sunday!

Just call me slow

When I was really young the Bee Gee's were HUGE. After seeing Andy Gibb in a video, complete with long hair and beard, I thought he was Jesus. I asked my mom if he was Jesus and she vehemently insisted he wasn't. I didn't beleive my mom cause I always thought Jesus was cool and if he wanted to be in a musical group he could be.

annaliesa!

One time in Sunday School, my teacher told me that Jesus was always with us. I asked if he lived down the street from me then, and the teacher answered, "Yes of course, he is everywhere." When I went home that night I confused the crap out of my parents when I kept on wanting to go to the neighbors house to see Jesus.

Aaron Guck

I used to believe that God and Santa were the same thing. They both see you when you're sleeping and know when you're awake, they know if you've been bad or good, you ask them for things and sometimes you get them, and they both live somewhere up high but nobody ever sees them. So when I was first introduced to the concept of God in Kindergarten, I thought I had to structure my prayers like a letter including my name, address, and telephone number at the end of each prayer.

Katie