at school we was taught that god lived 'above us' i lived in an apartment at the time and i use to believe the man on the floor above was god and i used to shout my prayers so he could hear me.

jamie

In my pre-school years, I believed I was in a story book that God was looking at. A new day would dawn when the He turned the page.

coujam

I believed very literally my sunday school teaching that "God knows you so well, He even knows the number of hairs on your head." So, every time I brushed my hair and some hairs came out on the brush, I would silently apologize to God for giving Him something else to have to keep track of, given all the more important things He had to do...

Vickie Pain

My little brother was learning the Lord's prayer for his First Communion, and misheard the "hallowed be thy name" part as "Howard be thy name". Our school bus driver was named Howard. He told me later that he used to feel sorry for all the other kids who weren't lucky enough to have God driving them to school like we did.

ames

The two people in the Garden Of Eden were named "Adamandeve" and "Eve"

Anon

My daughter went to sunday school fpor the first time when she was about 3. She came home with a picture with some odder than usual looking shapes on it. When I asked her what they were she told me they were 'cheeses'. I thought this was a strange thing to draw a sunday school but further questioning revealed she was supposed to draw 'Jesus' but had misunderstood.

linda hurst

When I was little my family was Catholic. We went to church on Sundays and celebrated the usual holidays. I was too young to understand any of it, so I came up with some weird impressions of what was Catholic and wasn't.

My grandmother was probably the most religious person in the family. I stayed with her a lot during summers when my parents were working. She had pictures and statues of The Virgin Mary in various places around her house. She had a massive vanity full of make-up and bottles of perfume. Every morning, she put Oil of Olay lotion on her face. Because of the way the illustration of the woman's face on the bottle resembled a woman wearing a veil, I believed that Oil of Olay lotion was a lotion The Virgin Mary manufactured in heaven. I thought my grandmother had to be an extremely special person because she used it. When she told me not to touch her lotion, I thought it was because I hadn't had my First Communion yet. I also thought something was wrong with my mother because she used Jergens lotion. I thought it was because my family wasn't as religious as my grandmother. I used to sneak dabs of the Oil of Olay, spread it on my face, and close my eyes...waiting for some kind of holy message.

Silly me!

N

My last name is Carpenter. I used to really believe I was related to Jesus. I even quoted verses in the bible where it said that Jesus was a "carpenter".

Leigh

There was a kid in my neighborhood with a speech impediment that had me believing there was a guy named "Debbo" living in the sewers. He meant to say that the DEVIL lived below the Earth

Anon

When very little I completely believed the mascot for Lucky Charms was the Almighty God.

Brendan

When I first heard about guardian angels, I misunderstood the concept and didn't realize that they were supposed to protect us, but rather I believed they would report to God about all the bad things we had done that day. I thought that the angels followed us around every day with pads of paper, noting our sins, and at night when we slept the angels flew off to God and ratted us out.

Eileen

I used to believe my mom's friend's boyfriend was Jesus. He looked like the traditional pictures of Jesus we see in The Bible. I used to scream and hide whenever I saw him; I think because I was too little to comprehend that we knew Jesus!

Holy Cow

I used to think that nuns were God's girlfriends...

Marie

In first grade of my Catholic school located in Illinios, it took me three weeks to clarify the following confusion: how could Abraham be the Old Testament leader of the Jewish people and the 16th President of the United States ?

Tmidnight

I was told that God made everyone so I used to think that the lines on our palms, wrists, where our elbows and knees fold, etc. were the stitches left behind after God sewed us together.

girly

I attended a convent from ages 6-10. One day, when i was 7 one of the nuns was showing us a video about jesus. We got to the part where baby jesus was laid out on a table, surrounded by bearded men, on wielding a knife. As it dramatically flashed across the screen, accompanied by a piercing cry and followed by the baby jesus sobbing his guts out. I, distressed, asked the nun what they were doing to the poor little baby. She told me they were carving a "J" in his leg for jesus.

Outraged at this shoddy treatment, i told everyone i met about this travesty for years, until someone filled me in on the practice of circumcision.

Anon

When I was little, I used to think God looked like a Bearenstein bear -- like papa bear, and that Jesus looked like brother bear. I don't know where I got this impression, somehow a crossover of two different literatures I was exposed to as a child. But for a long time when I heard "God," I'd think of a two-dimensional brown bear with a hat and overalls.

Dina

I used to think that when my parents and everyone else at church told me that Jesus loved me, that it was romantic love. I was afraid to go to church because I didn't feel the same way and didn't want to hurt Jesus's feelings.

The churchgoer who knows better now

i used to belive that when it rained god was peeing and when it thundered he was farting!!!

Kristalyn

I never questioned that Jesus was from anywhere else but England! - when my Dad told me otherwise I couldn't believe that someone as imprtant as Jesus could be a foreigner

Richard M