When I was four or five my mother tried to comfort me from bad dreams by telling me that jesus was always watching me. I became convinced that jesus was sitting on the edge of the bathtub watching me poop and finally had to be taken to the doctor when i refused to go to the bathroom for a week.

Anon

When I was about 4 my family went on a vecation to spain. At the hotel resort we staied at there was a bartender named Jesus.
I always mixed God and Jesus up, so when I got back home I told all my frinds that God lives in spain and works in a bar.

Magnus

I believed that god was something that surrounded the earth, like a shell, and when we sent up the space shuttle or a rocket or anything like that, it made a hole in god, and I always wondered if it hurt god when we did that

bob

When my cousin was younger she went to Sunday school for the first time. She had a lot of fun and just had to tell her dad about everything she learned. Imagen his embarrassment when she proudly exclaimed "I LEARNED ALL ABOUT THE JEWS AND GENITALS!"

LOL

I used to believe that God looked exactly like the picture of Abraham Lincoln on an American penny.

Leah

I used to believe that God resembled George Washington - specifically, the actor playing George Washington in a car dealership's President's Day sale.

Josh in L.A.

I knew that Jesus died on a cross, and I concluded that this must have made
him rather cross. I also imagined the cross as a bed of nails leaning against
a wall, holding up a scowling Jesus.

Paul S.

When I was a child, about 6 years old, I went to Sunday School each and every Sunday. It was Christmastime and that meant recreating the manger scene of Christ's birth. The teacher went around the classroom, recruiting volunteers for parts in the scene. "Who would like to be a shepard?" I immediately raised my hand. "OK, c'mon up...." I ran up with joy and took my place on the scene. I went up and laid down on the floor and curled up. The class, including the teacher, roared. I thought I was playing the part of a shepard ~ a German Shepard dog!

Dominic

I used to believe that Jews, Christians and Muslims were just another group of Christians like Catholics, Baptists, etc. And I used to think that Muhammad Ali and Moses were the same person, and that's why he was so popular.

Heidi

When I was a little girl, my parents told me that God could see and hear everything. From then on, I had this picture of God as a giant man who was completely covered in eyes - even the bottoms of his feet.

muddgirl

When my mom got angry, she would say
"Jesus Wept" I always thought she was saying "Jesus Swept" (the floor). I never understood how someone as important as Jesus had to such menial work!

Jim Galloway

I was never religious, but I had a very Christian friend in first or second grade. We were sitting on the floor one day, watching a class video, and she was telling me how she was very upset because she'd been to church on Sunday and found out during the sermon that baby Jesus had gotten a splinter in his foot. So, for a long time, I pictured Heaven as having hardwood floors...

Anon

I used to believe that God and Father Christmas were one and the same. When I was about 5, my siblings broke it to me that Father Christmas wasn't real. I think mum was farly shocked when I refused to go to church because God didn't exist.

That one took a while to clear up.

Anon

when i was younger i used to think that if you dialed 666-6666 the devil would pick up and that would mean you wanted to die. my friend and i dialed it once on a dare.. We got so frightened when we heard the operator that we screamed and hung up. I cryed for an hour straight. " i kept yelling he is coming to get me mom" my mom thought i was crazy. later on in life i found out it was the taxi number lol oops

ashley

When I was little, I used to scoot over in my bed to make room for my guardian angel to lay down and sleep. I figured after following around after me all day long, he'd be plenty tired and need a rest!

Trish

I used to think that the paparazzi and the pope were the same thing. Whenever I heard that some actor/actress had the paparazzi hiding in their bushes, I used to think it was an old Catholic priest hiding and taking pictures! This confused me because he's so holy and I thought it wasn't very nice for such a holy man to be invading peoples privacy like that!

Toni

when i was a little girl i thought God looked like my grandma and dressed like the statue of liberty.

Anon

i used to beleve jesus was my moms ex-husbend.

Anon

My sister thought there was a character in the bible called Baby Beezus and continued to think this until the age of 22.

Vicky

WHen i was little, I thought God looked exactly like the fairy godmother from cinderalla!

dandi