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When I was 3 my mom told me when everyone was receiving communion in a Catholic Church, I said, how come I did not get any cookies.
I thought my mum was a nun.
After Sunday School, we would attend "regular" church. The preacher would pass the collection plate for "God's Work." I always believed that our preacher went up to heaven every Sunday afternoon to give the money to God.
When I was very young, I used to wonder if it was a sin--maybe they were "taking God's name in vain"--when I saw the commercials on TV for Godchaux Sugar.
I am one of those people who think they are always right. Well i have been a Christian, gone to church all my life, and went to a Christian School until recently. Well a year or two ago my mother and i were talking about an organ donation that a man had went through. (He had to give up one of his lungs.) Well i said, "Did he live?" My mom-of course-answered yes, and asked why he would have died. Well i had believed my whole life that when God made man, he took a lung out of him rather than a rib. My mom had to get her Bible out and prove to me that i was wrong.
In church when I was little the priest always used to say "hym and hym and hym" I always thought he was talking about some guys so I would stand up and look around for 3 guys at the alter I only saw one guy (the priest) after my mom told me to sit down I would always say "Mom we really need to see the eye doctor..."
When I was young,I attended a church program called Awanas. I always thought that marijuana was somehow related to my church group, because they sounded similar and I didn't know what marijuana was.
When I was little, I went to a church with a loft for the choir. I didn't know that stairs led up to the loft. I was convinced they led to a rollercoaster that took you to Heaven to see God.
I used to believe that people were chosen by the pastor to be baptized and not of their own choice. I went to church ever Sunday scared to death that I would be "chosen" to be dunked in the water.
I used to believe that the closer it was to Sunday, the worse your sins were.
I thought they gave out communion to help the people sing better. I think it was because my mother always complained about the songs.
When I was small, at the end of Catholic Mass, the priest says "Go in Peace to love and serve the Lord". The response is "Thanks be to God", but boredom had overtaken me by then , so I always said "Thank God for that". Fortunately I don't now, I know better.
I was brought up as a Roman Catholic & knew I had to make my first confession one day, but I was terrified to do so, as I thought that I had to remember every single sin I had ever committed! I thought that if I forgot any, God would be really angry with me & I used to think "How will I ever remember them all?" I think I was about 7years old?
When I was younger, I went to Catholic church with my parents... and anyone who's been to as many Catholic masses as I have remembers how at the end of the mass when the priest says, "Go in peace to love and serve the Lord," we respond, "thanks be to God".
Well, when I was little, I used to think that we were saying "thanks speedy God." It made a lot more sense to me at the time... and everything I knew about God at the time fell right in line with him being speedy.
At my church there was a wide side walk like pathway that led to the sanctuary and it went up in the middle so i beleived that was where God was burried (like he was dead) so i tried to step lightly and i got mad when fat people walked on it.
That those names and numbers up in front of the church alter ie:(John 3:16)were of people that had recently died at that time of the day!
I used to believe that my pastor and his family lived inside our church. I was very jealous of his kids because the had such big bedrooms and got to play with all the toys.
I used to get confused with the indians out of the cowboy & indian films and Jesus Christ in the religious films. I though Jesus and the indians were the baddies because Jesus must have been bad to have all the town against him and he was crucified. There was a cupboard that the priest was opening during service and in the moment of silence I asked my mother in a foghorn voice "Is that Jesus's Jail?"
My primary teacher & my mom used to tell me that the Church house was god's house. So I thought when we were not there God & Jesus were actually there living,ie, eating, walking around, cooking food, & sleeping. I used to wonder where thier beds were.
I had a belief about priests as well-- they had their own homes, which were like mini-churches. I believed for a long time that every Sunday after mass, the priest would take all the leftover communion home and eat it himself. Not only that, but he would also have to say "The Body of Christ... amen" before eating each wafer and "The Blood of Christ... amen" before taking each sip of wine! I thought that was in order to make it last all week and it was the only thing priests ever ate.
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