At sunday school we were shown an illustrated children's book about "the Prodigal son". He was wearing a "dress" so for a while I thought that "prodigal" meant transvestite and that was why he had to leave his family, but in the end they decided to accept him. Ridiculous!

Barbara

I used to believe that during Catholic Mass, when parishoners greet each other and whisper "Peace be with you", they were whispering "psst psst psst".

Jeff

There was a certain drinking fountain at my church that I always drank out of from the time I was a toddler. There was a plaque mounted on the wall next to this drinking fountain that had the Bible verse that said "Whoever drinks this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst again."

I remember when I learned to read, I read that plaque and I thought that the reason I ever got thirsty was BECAUSE I had drank from that drinking fountain. I remember thinking that it was too bad I drank from it before I learned to read-- if I hadn't, I would never get thirsty ever again!

Marie

When I was in 5th grade our teacher went around the room asking us our religious beliefs. Well, I was the only one in my class who wasn't catholic and when it came my turn I told her "I'm Prostitute" and when she looked at me in disbelief I continued by saying "It's true, ask my mom, she's one too!"

tag

I used to believe that God lived in the men's room of my childhood church. This was mainly due to my Sunday School teacher telling our class that he lived at our church, and my not being able to find him in any other room. The only room I couldn't enter was the men's room, so I assumed that because I didn't see him anywhere else, that's where he must live. I think I was 6.

Jupiter

When I was a kid of 8 or 9, I read the Ten Commandments for the first time (our family was not religious), and upon coming to "Thou shalt not commit adultery," asked my mother what "adultery" was.

She was not aware of what I had been reading, but explained, quite accurately, that adultery was putting water into wine or other alcoholic drinks to make them weaker.

For a long time I thought, "Man! God is REALLY SERIOUS about making sure people get what they pay for in a bar!"

The God of Weights and Measures Standards

At the end of the mass,the priest says something along the lines of "The Mass is ended...let us go in peace" and everyone says "Thanks be to God".When I was a kid,I didn't realise this was actually part of the mass:I thought it was a spontaneous thing that once the priest said the mass was finished and everyone could go home,they were so happy that they said "Thanks be to God".

Frank

I have no earthly idea why I believed this but when I was a very small child and my parents first started taking me with them to mass, I didn't know the priest was a real person. I thought he was a robot.

Charles Maurer (Pennsylvania)

My best friend was Catholic. ONe day he said to me, "I'm a Catholic and I go to Catholic School. What are you?" I replied, "I'm a Public and I go to Public Schoool."

Dr. Ira Martel

When I was 5, I attended a Catholic Shcool in NYC. Back then, the nuns wore long black habits. They seemed to glide around the classroom and you could never see their feet. So, I believed God had given the nuns wheels instead of feet.

Diane

When I was a toddler, my grandmother took me to the Easter service, at which everybody holds candles. At midnight, lighted candles are brought from the altar and everybody lights theirs from these. When this happened, I burst into "Happy Birthday to You", much to the amusement of all, including the priest. (I have heard of one other kid who did the same, and I'm sure there have been others.)

C.C.

When I was a kid, my mom always threw the left over quarters from the past week in to the collection basket. I always thought the preist used them to go play video games at the arcade.

Someone.

My family is Jewish, although we werent a religous family, the idea that we where different somehow from our neighbors in our New York neighborhood fascinated me as a child. I remember asking my neighbor Mary what her family's religion was. With her 5 year old New York accent, she responded "Catlick".

From then until I was about 9 or 10, I truly believed that Catholicism, had sometyhing to do with licking cats. As I was deathly allergic to cats, this both confused, and slightly frightened me.

Cory

when i was a little girl i believed that the veils on a nun's habit were nailed to their heads and that they were all bald underneath it and that they slept in it and never took it off! that is what my brother told me. at religious instructions class i asked a nun if it hurt when they pounded the nails in. she took me aside into a cloak room and took off the veil to reveal her beautiful long hair

annie

In church, I used to believe that after the donations were made, the priest would go outside and hold the plate up, then a light would shine from the sky and beam it up from heaven. Then God would use the money to pay the angels for their services. I was afraid that if we didn't donate enough money, all the angels would go on strike and the Earth would spiral into chaos. I was an odd kid.

A Confused Kid

My Mom is a Protestant and my Dad's a Catholic; when I was little me and my sister always used to go to church with my Dad and I never understood why my Mom never came. So when I was about 5 my friend stayed over on Saturday night and came to church with me, my sister and my Dad and asked why my Mom didn't come so I announced infront of the whole congregation proudly "Because she's a PROSTETUTE!", evidently we never went to that church again.

Crazy Catholic Chick

I used to believe that there were only 3 religions. Being Jewish, Christian, and Evil. since my dad didn't like going to church with us, i thought he was jewish cuz i knew he wasn't evil.

Jenni

At my church, about halfway through the mass, everyone will shake hands and say "peace be with you." If you say it real fast, it comes out garbled. For some reason, for years I had this bizarre thought that people were asking what the other person had for breakfast, and the other person almost always responded with Rice Krispies. It was beyond me what cereal had to do with God, but my family still teases me about that to this day.

Kathryn

I remember being told that priests had a direct line to God. In my head I imagined this to be some sort of microphone which was attached to them .
I often wanted to talk to God so after mass i'd go and stand behind the priest and try to talk to God. I didn't want the priest to hear so i'd go and stand close behind him and whisper very quietly in the hope that the 'God microphone' would pick up my transmission.

confused of Pembrokeshire

When I was about 5, we were in church and the priest was talking about the "lamb of God" I recall laughing that God had a lamb...during the mass, I then realized I had a double-jointed thumb....I was terrified to tell anyone about my distorted thumb, thinking it was God punishing me, for laughing at the lamb.

D