Iused to believe the statue of Jesus was really him and our church got mad at him and nailed him up there.

The Fidiot

As a child, one church I was sometimes taken to was of the denomination called Disciples Of Christ. I learned much later that that denomination is sometimes called "Campbellites" (with varied connotations) after it's founder, Thomas Campbell. My father called it that sometimes, but I thought then he was saying "Camelites". Then one time I went to a Greek festival at a Greek Orthodox Church. Some of us toured the sanctuary, where there were murals, showing, among other things, the three Wise Men riding horses, not camels, as I was more familiar with. The guide told us that that was more historically accurate, that their likely means of transportation at that time would have been horses, not camels. I thought then and there that I'd learned why my more familiar church was sometimes called "Camelite" -- because of a belief not shared with certain other churches, including the Greek Orthodox, that the Wise Men rode camels.

Lucy

I used to think that PEDESTRIAN was a religion

wilsob2700

As a small Catholic child attending Benediction I used to believe that during the ceremony they were burning INSECTS (i.e.incense) and wondered why insects would smell so bad when burned.

MiMi

As a child in the early '80s, I honestly thought that Episcopalians founded their faith around Joe Piscopo. I also thought he was their church leader.

Nan

When walking to church on Sunday mormings, I used to believe that the crosswalk sign was placed there exclusively for us "Presbyterians"; not for just any pedestrians.

Eileen Somers

My primary teacher & my mom used to tell me that the Church house was god's house. So I thought when we were not there God & Jesus were actually there living,ie, eating, walking around, cooking food, & sleeping. I used to wonder where thier beds were.

Christine

The priests in my catholic church rotated duties weekly, I thought they must be interchangeable robots, programmed with a sermon, and hung up on a wall when done. So the only constant person I saw on sundays was the musical director, -who it was clear to me, must be the head of the roman catholic church (the pope being an Orwellian figurehead) and the musical director was also caretaker of the robots.

James Campbell

Up untill I was 14 I thought a Pedestrian was a religion I wondered why people hated Pedestrians so much that they would run them over all the time.

Kate

When I was little and we'd go to mass, I would think that the confesssionals (we were Catholic) were the gateways to hell, and that if you were really bad, the priest would open another door on the other side, and you'd be in hell.

me

At my old church, there was a cross behind where the preist stood that had Jesus on it. One day, my mom, dad, and brother were going to be baptized (I wasn't because I had an ear infection). Well, we were standing there, and my Grandpa was next to me. I asked how they did it, and he said they took Jesus off the cross, and nailed people to it. Then, they lowered it into the water. From the on, I was afraid to watch when people were baptized, so I beleived him until i was about 11.

Soup

When I asked my grandmother what happened to the money we put in the collection plate at church, she said it "was for God." I interpreted this literally, but added a childish fantastic twist to the concept, and believed that every so often God would send a flying ship called "The Ship of Zion" (I have no idea why it was called that) to collect the money and take it to heaven. This still struck me as odd, because supposedly heaven's streets were paved with gold...

Anon

I remember I got told in church that were all part of God's family. I spent years believing my best friends and the other kids at school were really my brothers and sisters.

Erin Jones

I am Catholic and when I was a child I assumed that there were only two different religions: Catholic and Public. I thought this because I was Catholic and attended Catholic school so I assumed that the children who attended the Public school next-door were Publics, right?

Anon

When I was not yet tall enough to see over the people in front of me at church, I used to believe that it was God actually giving mass into a loudspeaker. When I eventually grew taller, I thought our preist was God's substitue, because he had to be at other churches on Sunday.

Holly A.

I thought they gave out communion to help the people sing better. I think it was because my mother always complained about the songs.

Steve

Growing up Catholic, all of the churches had confessional boxes along the walls.
I used to think that the priests changed in them before Mass; if the light was on, that meant "Do Not Enter, Priest is Changing"

K.

in church, where they say "let us proclaim teh mystery of faith. christ has died, christ is risen, christ will come again." I thought they said "christ has dies, christ is PRISON."
and that kinda threw me off, cuz like i didn't want to go to church and then have 2 go to prison.
=[

nick

growing up in the catholic church, the altar boy, who happened to be my brother who when the priest wasn't watching would try and do a full circle with the burning incense. and being a younger little sister i was really jelouse because i thought God liked him better and would want him to be in heavan more that me because he could crazy do party tricks like that.

Pete

In my home town there is a church called Our Lady Of Assumption Catholic Church. As a child I clearly remember struggling to try to figure out the meaning of that name. Back then I was in an early stage of grappling with learning the English language, in which big words differing only by a prefix all ran together. Then, if I could speak of someone living in a "compartment house", of shopping at an "appartment store", or of items kept in one's car's "glove department", I could have counted myself lucky to come that close to getting it right, and to be basically understood, albeit with some chuckles. As for "assumption", that pretty much ran together with "consumption" for me, and the main meaning I'd heard of for "consumption" back then was tuberculosis. So I got the idea that that church was named for some unfortunate woman with tuberculosis. To this very day, thinking of that church reminds me of that poor tuberculosis victim and I have to catch myself and correct my perception. I guess I'm lucky that my first encounter with the word "comsumption" (while it would still run together with "assumption") was not in regard to consumption of alcoholic beverages. If it had been that, I might be fighting off to this day a perception that that church's namesake were a woman anywhere from a bit tipsy to out and out drunk!

Janice