When we were at a church meeting and they would talk about 'satellite schools' I thought that 'satellite schools' were schools where you learn how to operate a satellite dish.

Anon

When I was little, I went to a church with a loft for the choir. I didn't know that stairs led up to the loft. I was convinced they led to a rollercoaster that took you to Heaven to see God.

Ashley

I used to believe that the donation money went to the pastor and he would put it in a little red envelope and then secretly he would give it to a dove and then God would get it.

Speara

I used to believe that Jesus lived in the tower of the church

Anon

When I was a kid we all went to a very conservative independent baptist church. We were taught that people of other faiths: catholics, methodists, etc., were wicked and ultimately bound for hell. It was around this same time (i was 6 or 7) we were told the story of Sodom & Gomorah. How they were wicked and engaged in all kinds of immoral sexual acts. Since the term 'wicked' was also applied to other churches, I remember every sunday we would pass this large methodist church on the way home and i would strain my eyes trying to make out the forms of people engaging in a mass orgy through the church widows and thinking how much I'd like to get in there and have a good look! I don't know why but for some reason I was also sure there would be trapeze artist preforming in there as well.

tim

I used to believe that the priests were married to the nuns. I couldn't understand why they had no children. I alos thought the pastor could have done a lot better than mother superior.

Jim

when i was small... i used to believe that the host at church were white choclate buttons... and my cousing used to believe that it was cheese... one christmas she asked my mother if she could go up for some cheese as she was hungry...

Anon

When i was younger i went 2 church with my friend 1 sunday, l8r when i was telling my catholic neighbour about the service, after i'd finished explaining it to her i obviously hadn't mentioned some catholic ritual she was used to in her church she then informed me that this was not proper church becos they hadn't gone thru the same service she was used to, me being from completely non-religious family aged 6 had no idea that there was a difference between protestant and catholic (as far as i was concerned every1 in the world was christian!!!)i assumed she meant that the church i'd been to was all fake and that the people weren't really religious and were just making it all up like a huge game of make-believe, for the life of me i could not understant why they'd gone to all that bother, wasn't until i was MUCH older i worked out what the difference was!!!

me :P

I thought that the 3rd commandment 'Thou shalt not take the name of Lord thy god in vain' was taking something out of the artery.

Anon

In the church I used to go to, there was this huge crucifix above the altar with a pretty realistic-looking dead Jesus model on it. I used to believe this model Jesus was actually Jesus' body and we were the luckiest church in the world because we had the real Jesus.

Cat

This isn't really a belief so much as a misunderstanding, really. Anyway, a long time ago, my family was at church on Christmas Eve. We were all holding fake candles with lightbulbs shaped like a candle flame, and the pastor said something like, "Now spread your light throughout the world." My sister looked up at our parents and said, "He's kidding, right? What will we use next year?"

Anon

I believed going in front the church meant I was going to be married. Thus, when my mom brought our whole family up to light the advent wreath, I screamed, "I DONT WANT TO GET MARRIED" and ran off.

Anon

When I was in first grade at St. Mary's Catholic School, we were preparing to make our First Holy Communion. During the many practices, the Nuns would give us a chocolate Necco Wafer (candy) to represent the Host. After the big day finally arrived and the ceremony was over, my family asked me how I felt now that I had received the Lord. I was upset and couldn't understand why he wasn't chocolate!

Debbie

In Romans 3:15 it says "[sinners'] feet are quick to shed blood". I assumed that this meant that if I had been sinful lately and I cut myself, I would bleed more than if I had a clean soul. That was a long time ago, and I'm 26 years old now, but I've never really got rid of the superstition. When I got a sunburn in Florida five years ago my instinctive reaction was that it was divine punishment since I'm usually pretty resistant to sunburn.

Soap

When I was little I was told in church that the Devil controls the water, so we could never go swimming in our backyard on Sundays. For some reason it was fine the rest of the week!

Juliet

By second grade I had learned about the chosen people, the Jews of biblical times. I had never heard the term in a contemporary context so when a little girl my age, a neighbor of my grandmother, told me she was a Jew, I remember being absolutely amazed and delighted. I had assumed they no longer existed, as if in another era they had mysteriously become extinct like dinosaurs.

Isabel

Going to parochial school from 1st-4th grade I used to believe kids who attended public school didn't believe in God. Nevermind that I attended kindergarten in public school.

It wasn't until I attended public school in the 5th grade and I met a kid who I saw in church every Sunday that the belief changed.... I still remember asking him "Hey what are you doing here?!"

Rey

I used to go to CCD (Sunday School). We would sit in the church area at the beginning of it with the teachers and the priest. My friends and I would sit in the front row because we liked not having to look over people's heads, also because we felt special. (But that's not the point.) Well, the priest would stand up front and usually talk to everyone. One day I raised my hand and asked him "Where is the real Jesus?" He responded, "What?" I then said "Well, in our church, we have a fake Jesus. Where is the REAL Jesus hanging up?" He still didn't understand, got angry and ignored me.
As you can see, I was refering to in the front of churches there are the big crosses with Jesus on it (Where the priest talks and stuff). I wanted to know in what church was the real Jesus hanging up in. I had a few more thoughts about this concept. One of them being it would smell bad in that church because he would be really old and have not taken a shower in a while (not to mention, he'd be dead).
Kids are funny.

I Heart Gorillaz.

When I was small and the priest would read out the intentions for masses for the coming week, I used to think that the people he was talking about were so huge (people of giant spider proportions!) that they had to have the whole church to themselves!

Mary

I remember going to church and hearing that lamb of god thing and thinking it was written about Gods pet sheep.

mare-bear