Once we went to church we were going to give money when they passed around the collection box. I cried and sceamed so bad because I wanted the money my selfe.
I didnt really understand the whole thing of shearing!

Tim_Norway

When I was younger, we sang 'Hosanah" in church every Sunday. One Sunday I leaned over to my mom and said,"There's one thing in common about Gsarfield and Jesus. They both like Lasagna." I thought they were saying 'lasagna' but I soon found out that we were singing 'hosanah'! She laughed so hard I thought she would pee.

Katie

I used to believe that all nuns were men when I was 4 years old.

SS

I used to help out in a 2nd grade Hebrew class that was way out of control. The teacher asked the class if anyone knew when we celebrated Shabbat and one of the boys raised his hand and said "December."

Anon

In church (we're Catholic) there's this part where the priest says, 'Lift up your heart' and we reply with, 'We lift them up to the Lord.' As I kid I'd always stand up on my toes and stick my chest out, trying to lift up my heart.

queeneve

I remember hearing in church that we are all sinners and Jesus had to die to save us. I felt so bad and wracked my 7 yr old brain trying to remember what I had done that was so bad it killed Jesus.

Julianne

i didnt used to realize that there were different religons. i just thought all churches were the same. i used to ask my mom why the heck we drove a half hour to church when there was one just down the street!

Audrey

When I very briefly went to Sunday school at the age of about six or seven, they used to have a collection plate passed around. I asked what the money was for.

"Well, it might be for..." Mum thought about it. "It might be for mending the church roof."

I didn't say any more about it, but I was convinced that I knew now what was going on. After the service, the organist would melt down the pennies with the steam from the organ pipes (!) and cover the leaks in the roof with the hot metal. Even though I know better now, it's still a persistent image.

silverstar1809

When I was young our family went to church every sunday.And every sunday the whole church said there prayers.there was a part wich was "pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death"I thought that everyone was praying for my family.I finaly ask and till this day i still get teased about it.

Aliena Sinner

I used to believe that at sunset the world was going to be destroyed by fire. Our pastor was a fire and brimstone type and he had me so cinvinced that Christ was comm\ing any second. I was 16 before I could sit and watch a sunset.

Brian

They showed a lot of rapture movies at my church when I was in high-school. For a couple of years I was really disappointed because I was totally and completely convinced that we were going to be raptured before I would have a chance to get married and have a family.

E

When, in a Roman Catholic Sunday service the alter-boy rang a bell to signify "altering-of-water-to-wine", I believed that it was actually a MAGIC sound from God Himself.

It wasnt until I grew up (and luckily became an athiest) that I learned otherwise.

Anon

When I was little, and was taken to church on a communion Sunday, the trays of juice and bread were always covered with a white sheet, resulting in a large mound in the middle of the table. I always thought that there was a pregnant woman laying underneath the sheet and we were going to see her have the baby right there.

Misty

I remember hearing in church that we should follow in God's footsetps. Walking with my grandfather in the snow i asked him if i followed his footprints in the snow, was that the same thing.

martin

I used to believe that when people get bapitized, their soul get snatched up by god into heaven. And what's left on earth are just puppets controlled by angels to keep me company until I get baptized. So when all my family except me were converted, I started wondering if I should join them in heaven or wait a few years. (after all, the puppets were perfectly good companies) My baptism was as disappointing as my first orgasm.

ha

when the priest would hold up the eucharist and you could hear bells, i always thought that the eucharist made the sound itself. i didn't know that altar servers rang the bells.

Anon

I used to believe that if you dropped the Bible all of the words would fall out and if you didn't put them back correctly before you died, you would go to hell.

Mrs B.

I grew up in a religious family, with a somewhat narrow view of the world. Everyone was either a Protestant or a Catholic (those were the only options). Unfortunately, in elementary school I confused the word "Protestant" with "Prostitute" and therefore believed that if you weren't a Catholic, you were, by default, a Prostitute. I had no idea what a prostitute was, but quickly learned when I proclaimed to a group of friends that my family was prostitutes. To this day I am hoping everyone has forgotten what I said.

Believer at the Red Light Church

Our grade 2 class did First Communion, and all the girls and boys walked down the aisle in church in pairs. I assumed that the boy I was partnered with was the one I was supposed to marry later on.

Anon

In my hometown, we had one Jewish temple. I was riding my bike around town one day when a dog started chasing me. I rode home as fast as I could and told my dad about it. He asked me where the dog was, and I told him it was by the Sherriff's station (which was over 2 miles away). I later learned that just because there's a big star on the front of a building doesn't make it a police station.

Josh