When I was a teenager I only wanted to marry someone Catholic, because I wanted 6 kids. I thought Catholics liked kids more because they had so many. It wasn't until YEARS later that I understood they don't have that many kids on purpose!

No way.

When I was about 4 years old, I used to believe that when the preacher pounded his fist on the pulpit it was because someone was talking in church. My brother told me when I talked in church the preacher would get mad an pound his fist on the pulpit. I believed him.

Church Mouse

In the Catholic Mass when you have the consecration, you say “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.” Until I was about 9ish I firmly believed we were supposed to be saying “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall believe you.”

Matty

We used to go to the church that my great-grandparents did, but I don't know which denomination it was - one Easter, the Sunday School class had to fidget through the actual sermon, as we were old enough to do the Communion ritual... when it came my turn, I took a sip of the wine and said
"Who put beer in the Welch's Grape Juice?" I was about 6.
Since this was followed by the usual embarrassed adult silence, I spent many years believing that God always put beer into grape juice as part of the Adult ceremony.
I also used to believe that God would
kill you unless you sang slow, dirging mournful hymns. But you had to sing all the verses. I used to be so scared for everybody in my church because they didn't want to sing all the verses of "The Old Rugged Cross", and most times picked joyful songs - Somehow I had gotten the impression that God hated everybody and only liked them if they were miserable.

daveydude

there was a man at my church when i was little, and my older sister and i called him "the angry man" because his eyebrows were in a weird position so he always looked angry. we felt bad that he was angry all the time, and i wondered why on earth his wife married him...

Anon

When I was in primary school, one of the local ministers or priests would visit weekly to give religious instruction. When I was about 11, a catholic priest came and talked to us about catholicism. Afterwards, he asked if there were any questions. I stood up and asked "How old do you have to be to become a catholic?" I wasn't embarrassed at the time but I still go red when I think about it now. You see my older sister had converted to catholicism when she was about 12, (and was thinking of becoming a nun) so I thought it must be nearly time for me to do the same.

Embarrassed from Scotland

When I was about 9 years old, I went to my little cousins baptism at a Catholic Church. It was the first time I had attended Catholic Church, and when I talked about the sermon later, I said "that pope was really boring", and my mom had to assure me that that wasn't a pope, it was a priest.

Brook

When I was small, at the end of Catholic Mass, the priest says "Go in Peace to love and serve the Lord". The response is "Thanks be to God", but boredom had overtaken me by then , so I always said "Thank God for that". Fortunately I don't now, I know better.

Joan

I believed that the offering from church was divided among the churches because the preacher said it was for the Kingdom of God.

And when the congregation would sing "Surely He Bore Our Sorrows" I thought they were talking about my Aunt Shirley.

I also believed that God had no face because of a mural in the baptistry that depicted Him with a blank, shining face.

Tyler

When I was little church confused me. Once when I was about 3 my father carried me up to communion with him. I thought the host was a necco wafer and screamed "I want a necco wafer!" at the top of my lungs and tried to grab one out of the chalice.

I also thought that at the beginning of the Mass the priest came in and as an act of, I don't know, self mutilation or torture, he would bash his head against the altar. This was because we usually got to church late and had to sit in the back and I couldn't see clearly. Finally I asked my mother "Why does the priest have to bang his head on the table when he comes in?"

Finally I thought God's name was Harold "Our father who art in heaven, HAROLD be thy name.."

Maura

i've never been to church, but, when i was younger, i used to ask one of my neigbours if they could come out. But they always said, sorry, we have to go to sunday school. I thought, ooohhh, those poor people have to go to school on sunday, life must be bad for them.

Anon

i used 2 think that we r dolls in gods play house and he used 2 play with us and watever he did 2 us we would have 2 do it.

Tiana

in mass, instead of
"...for the good of all this church"
i always thought it was
"...for the good of August church". probably because my birthday was in August. didn't figure this one out until i was probably 10 or so...

jody

that the money I gave at sunday school would go straight to God.

christine

When I was young, I used to think only Mormons had cousins. This was because every time went somewhere, it was for a family reunion or family gathering where everyone flocked together. But when I was at school after vacation and weekends and told my friends what I did, they never ever spoke about having such experiences with any family or cousins and such. They only spoke of friends.
Hence. My believe (everyone at church talked about their family and cousins). . . . or so I thought.

Super Secret Sally

I used to believe that no matter how old i got, or how smart i was - i would NEVER ever be able to do two things: learn all the prayers they said at mass, and drive a car. Those two things were just the hardest things in the world. I used to try to plan how I would live not being able to drive - or talk along at church, and how i'd have to pretend i could.

fiona

When I was small I believed that the priest takes a big host during consecration and performs a miracle by making it small and many for all the people in church.

Anon

When my mum was little she grew up in a convent school. If a child had fallen over they would go into the convent to get patched up. Cus the nuns were very old there were lots of lifts and one of them was glass. My nanna had told my mum that nuns are very special people that are married to God. So when she saw nuns 'coming out of the ground' she so knew why God had married them!

Sas

At my childhood church, after a passage from the new testament had been read, the congregation would simulateously respond to "This is the word of the Lord" with "Thanks be to God". I though for years that they had said "Thanks Peter God"!

Paula

i used to think that being a prostitute was a religion. (sort of like protestant i guess?)

Anon