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#Dance then, wherever you may be
#I am the Lord of the Dance, said he
I thought it was "Lord of the Dance Settee," and for a very long time I sincerely thought a giant sofa was a focus for early Christian worship...
PK
MUM: What shall we sing now?
ME, AGED 4: Sing the one about the sofa
MUM: ???
ME: You know..."I am the Lord of the Dance Settee"
MUM: (smothered giggles) OH! You mean "I am the Lord of the Dance, said he"...(outright laughter)
Loody
I used to think the words of Silent Night were (instead of "...'round yon Virgin, mother and Child"), "Brown young virgin bothering child."
Kate
The writers of the hymns that mentioned the word "breast" were perverts.
MDC
During the singing time portion of the childrens class at my chuch we would sing a song with the lyrics "I am a child of God, and so my needs are great." I believed the worlds were "and so my knees are gray." I was sad when I relized that my knees wre not gray, and therefore I wasn't a child of God.
Melissa
When my brother was young, he used to think that the church chorus, "We Bring the Sacrifice of Praise" was actually "We Bring Sacks of Rice on Trays."
When I was about four I thought that the song "Go tell it on the mountain" was "Go telly on the mountain." I thought that the song was about a television sitting on top of a mountain broadcasting a news program about Jesus' birth. Even today, when I hear the song, I imagine a television sitting there all alone in the snow with a nativity scene on the screen.
A few years ago, I heard my dad sing the song "We Three Kings". He made up his own version, it went like this:
We three kings of Butternut Square,
Trying to sell some cheap underwear,
So fantastic; No elastic,
Ninety nine cents a pair ...
I beleived that the song went like that for a long, long time. I always wondered how a song with a tune that solemn could have such funny lyrics.
In fact, there was a time about a year ago when I had a momentary brain fart and had to ask about a Christmas carol ("We Three Kings"). I said to a friend, "Oh yah, that's the one about the underwear, right?" Needless to say I got a very strage look.
Caitlin from Canada
When I was a child, the song "The First Noel" had me thinking that the word "certain" could be a verb. The line "The first Noel the angels did say was to certain poor shepherds in fields where they lay" meant to me that the poor shepherds were uncertain about something, so the angels came to "certain" them, that is, to make them certain.
Bobby
i don't know if any of u know kid's songs but there's this one that goes "who built the ark? noah! noah!" like the story in the bible and i always thot it was "who build the ark? no one! no one!"
there was this other song about the golden rule that went "do to others, do to others, as u would have them do to u" and i thot they were singing "u have 2 mothers, u have 2 mothers etc" i always had a picture in my head of 2 women *both looking like my mom* pushing me in a stroller together
emily
Up until tonight I used to think Silent Night went "brown young virgin" because Mary was from the Middle East.
When I was a kid we went to a church that had a bad overhead so everything looked blurry on it. It was complicated by my dad's bad eyes so when he would sing this one song he would sing "may it be a sweet, sweet sound in your car" instead of "may it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear". He would sing it really loud too.
TJ
i went to a roman catholic junior school and when we sang "gladly the cross i'd bear" i thought we were singing about "gladely the cross eyed bear"
annieka
When I heard "Hark! the Herald Angels Sing", I thought the "Harold Angels" were a troupe run by some guy neamed Harold, like the June Taylor Dancers or the King Family.
Mike Ransom
In the Christmas song "Oh Holy Night", I misunderstood the line "Fall on your knees, oh hear the angels voices".
I thought it was "Fall, Anyanees", and Anyanees was the name of one of the shepards.
Kairow
My mother was raised in a strict Catholic household. When she was little she thought the words to "Hark the herald angels sing ..." went "Hark to hell the angels sing ..." Something her brothers and sisters still tease her about.
A friend used to believe that the words to the song "and He shall make us fishers of men", was actually "and He shall make us viscous old men".
Curious why God would want us to grow up to be miserable!
PaulT
When I was little, I thought the hymn that goes, "Hosanna in the highest heaven...' meant someone called Hosanna (because the name is like Rosanna) was a woman in heaven who is like an agony aunt who when you go to confession helps you sort out your problems!
Natski
when i was in junior school (in the uk - 7 to 11) we used to sing hymns every morning, and this one hymn drove me mad, everyone else *loved* it, but i'm partailly deaf so i couldn't always work out what was being sung, infact i was given some of the hymns on paper so i could sing along. but this one i wasn't given, so i had no idea what was being sung, and the fact that everyone loved it so much annoyed me even more... it was the hymn that goes "hand me down my silver trumpet lord" - i used to think it was "garbrielle my silver trophic lord" and i was like "what the HELL is a silver trophic lord?!"
padfoot
In the Catholic mass, there is a part where the priest or soloist sings: "hosanna in the highest, hosanna in the highest, blessed is he...etc. etc."
I used to think they were singing "Lasagna in the highest". We are solidly Irish, but there are a lot of Italians married in, and I fondly remember many St'Joseph's feasts at the parish hall as far back as I can remember. If you don't know what St. Joseph's feast is, then you certainly have not spent much quality time around Italians.
I told my father about the belief many times, and he does not believe me to this day.
TIPScommissar
the words in "silent night" are "'round [as in around] yon virgin." i thought they were "round young virgin," because she was fat! i sang it that way for many years, and sometimes still do when i forget myself.
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