My younger brother, now 12, always thought that the Christmas carol went, "The first noll, the first noll..." Nevermind that it has no meaning, he believes it to this day...

Anon

At my church they would sing all these hymns and being from the South you couldnt always understand what everyone was saying.

They sang one song called "Not by Might" It went something like this...

Not by Might. Not by Might.
But by my spirit saith the Lord.

However I would loudly sing every sunday morning...

Not my pie. Not my pie.
But its the spirt's and the Lord's.

And then there was the southern oldie called "When the Roll is called up younder..Ill be there!!" which I thought was "When the ROAD is called a Punder...Ill be there!!" I couldnt figure out why people would start calling roads punders and why in the heck would I want to be there?

clynn

At my old church we sang alot of hyms.. and there was one that said "and now, let the weak say i am strong, let the poor say i am rich because of what the Lord has done"..

But seeing as i couldn't read thien and had to learn the songs by ear, i sang the lyrics as "and now, let teh wheet say i am strong, let the corn say i am rich".. i new that in the old days they ran farms alot but i never got why the farmer's crops talked to them..

Doblica W.

I wasn't helped by attending the funeral of a wealthy man who had chosen "Guide me, O thou great Redeemer." The order of service contained a misprint (accidental or otherwise) which replaced "Land me safe on Canaan's side" with "Land my safe on Canaan's side."

Anon

Like many people, I believed the song 'Lord of the Dance' said "I am the lord of the dance settee," rather than "I am the lord of the dance said he." I had images of people getting up and boogying on this settee. Which, due to childish word connections, happened to be our grey and black settee.

Rachel

For months my younger brother went around asking everyone what a "looya" was. He kept insisting he had learned a song at school about a girl named "Glori" that "had a looya". It wasn't until he sang the song that we realized he was singing "Glory, glory Hallelujah". That was about 10 years ago, but we still tease him for it.

NG

My mum said that when I used to sing "noahs arc" at school I would sing "who built the arc, no one, no one"

Clare

My sister used to think the words to the Christmas song "Little Donkey" were "Got a teapot, plodding onwards" instead of "got to keep on, plodding onwards"!

DJ

At VBS (vacation bible school) there was a song that promised that we would "learn to seek Your face, and the knowledge of your grace...", which I heard as "learn to sink Your face", whatever that meant. I ultimately decided that it meant washing Jesus' face (almost as good as washing someone's feet).

My next best involved a series of songs that refered to Jesus as "the rock". (Lord you are my Rock, On Christ the solid rock I stand, etc) Well, I was appalled! If I were the ruler of the universe, I would want to be compared to something fierce, like a lion, or a tiger; comparing Jesus to something as inanimate as a rock seemed to border on an insult. It took me a while to come to terms with this one.

Steve

Not mine, but my husband's -- and not that long ago. He cracked up the choir during a church service by singing "There is a bomb in Goliad!" Considering that a very important battle during the Texas war for independence from Mexico was fought at Goliad, he did have a point.

Texas granny

One time in sunday school, they were asking what song we wanted to sing. Well there is a song called "Father Abraham". Well, I never knew the songs name and I told them I wanted to sing "Father Lincoln" thinking it was named for the president.

Kimberly R

When my son was little he came back from church and said that they had sung his favourite hymn about the drains. I asked him to sing the song to me and he sang 'Guard our drains, guard our drains' instead of 'Our God reigns, our Gods reigns'.

Val

My Mom could never figure out who Round John was. As in Round John, Virgin Mother and Child. Or rather as it should be Round yond Virgin, Mother and Child from Silent Night

Anon