At VBS (vacation bible school) there was a song that promised that we would "learn to seek Your face, and the knowledge of your grace...", which I heard as "learn to sink Your face", whatever that meant. I ultimately decided that it meant washing Jesus' face (almost as good as washing someone's feet).

My next best involved a series of songs that refered to Jesus as "the rock". (Lord you are my Rock, On Christ the solid rock I stand, etc) Well, I was appalled! If I were the ruler of the universe, I would want to be compared to something fierce, like a lion, or a tiger; comparing Jesus to something as inanimate as a rock seemed to border on an insult. It took me a while to come to terms with this one.

Steve

Not mine, but my husband's -- and not that long ago. He cracked up the choir during a church service by singing "There is a bomb in Goliad!" Considering that a very important battle during the Texas war for independence from Mexico was fought at Goliad, he did have a point.

Texas granny

One time in sunday school, they were asking what song we wanted to sing. Well there is a song called "Father Abraham". Well, I never knew the songs name and I told them I wanted to sing "Father Lincoln" thinking it was named for the president.

Kimberly R

When my son was little he came back from church and said that they had sung his favourite hymn about the drains. I asked him to sing the song to me and he sang 'Guard our drains, guard our drains' instead of 'Our God reigns, our Gods reigns'.

Val

My Mom could never figure out who Round John was. As in Round John, Virgin Mother and Child. Or rather as it should be Round yond Virgin, Mother and Child from Silent Night

Anon

when I was about 4 or 5, I thought Jesus must have had a fancy-dress policeman's uniform just like mine - "The little law Jesus
Laid down his sweet head"
- and obviously, being God, he was allowed to sleep in it

humpo

Hymns were my problem:
I am the Lord of the dance settee (rather than 'said he'), and picturing Jesus jumping upand down on a sofa.

Then there was 'goat tell it on the mountain'...

Jon

I wondered why in church we had to sing "how great thou aren't" and I would (luckily)would clam up when ever that line came up.

Nanc

Scottish Accent:

"A Wain in a Manger
No crib for the bairn"

Were the first lines to "Away in a Manger" according to my brother-in-law from Glasgow.

Terrie from South Shields, UK

We used to sing 'there is a green hill far away without a city wall' at school. I thought it meant that every hill should have a wall built around it! By the time I'd become a Christian as an adult the words had been changed to 'outside a city wall' I understood then that Jesus was crucified on the grotty bit of rubbish dump that no-one wanted to live on - quite a revelation.

Sue

I once went out with a girl, who's sister used to sing a song a school which went "damp damp where ever he may be, i am the lord of the damp settee!! It was actually called lord of the dance....lol

hnk69

I used to think that the words were "Dance, dance where-ever you may be, I am the lord of the Dance Settee..."
I imagined that Jesus and his followers running around my living room and jumping on the settee. My parents still have the settee and I still think of it as the Dance Settee

George

I used to sing the song "Silent Night" with the words "Brown young virgins, mother and child"

Mr. Bob

When I was in year 1 at primary school (aged 5) we had to go to assembly with the whole school, but weren't given hymnbooks to help us sing the songs as most of couldn't read well enough yet. As a result, for years I sang "Dance, dance, wherever you may be, I am the lord of the dance settee". I assumed a "dance settee" was a place where you could be really comfortable, warm, etc, and were allowed to jump on the furniture!

Martha