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hymns

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Handel's "Messiah" includes "For we, like sheep, have gone astray". But Handel, a German, was a bit rough on his english phrasing, so the main line comes out as "For we LIKE sheep", which puzzled our Sunday School choir - we had nothing against sheep mind you, but few Australians would choose them as special mates. A couple of us decided on our own slant, incurring strife for singing, "For we like sheep, but I prefer dogs -..... etc". "But Sir, we were in tune and everything!"

Swanny
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In the song Silent night theres the part that says

"round yon virgin mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild"

up until 2 years ago I thought it was " Holy imbecile tender and wild"

if thats not bad enough i also went to a catholic school

Anon
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we used to sing about cheese. 'my cheeses, nice flavour...' recognise it?!?

pixie
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When my sister was about 6 at Christmas time, she came home from school and sang us a carol she had just learned.
She started alright with 'Ding Dong merrily on high'
but unfortunately finished with 'Hosannah in his trousers'

Jim Clarke
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My niece attended a church-run preschool even though my sister and brother-in-law were not religious. The preschool taught the class the song "Jesus Loves Me". My niece thought that song contained the line "...because Feifel tells me so" instead of because the bible tells me so. She had seen the video Feifel Goes West so many times that she was sure that the little mouse, Feifel, told people that Jesus loved us.

Vanessa
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I come from Yorkshire and when we would sing Jingle Bells at Christmas I thought 'a one hose open sleigh' was 'a one horse serpent sleigh' because of the strong accents. I spent most of my childhood thinking that Father Christmas road a dragon.

Megan
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I always used to think in the Christmas carol "God Bless you and Give you a Happy New Year" they were saying, "And may joy come to you, and to your mimosa, too." I figured this was because grown-ups drank mimosa on Christmas morning, and the song was hoping their mimosa was yummy.

Anon
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My mom always used to think that the lyrics to "Silent Night" were: "Sleep in heavenly peas", so she thought that baby Jesus's bed was filled with peas.

Anon
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again, as a child i used to sing a gospel hymn called "joshua fought the battle of Jerichoe and the walls came tumbling down"
until i was about 6 i would belt out in church "Joshua bit the bottle of cherry-coke and the walls came tumbling down"

kaitlyn
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My Father had an interesting take on the carol 'we three kings'
'we three kings of trafalgar square
selling knickers at tuppence a pair
they're fantastic, no elastic
falling down everywhere...'

Anon
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I used to think that church songs were pop music. Well, we did sing them in church every week...

Roxy
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I could never get over why everyone would sing such a gentle, sweet church hymn about a bomb. The song lyrics sounded like "There is a bomb in Gilead, to make the wounded body whole... to heal the sin-sick soul." I thought, what kind of a bomb could that be? Only one God could make I suppose. Finally the day of revelation came... "There is a balm in Gilead"

William
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Real words in "Jesus Loves Me": Little Ones to Him Belong..."
Until I was 15 I thought it was: "Little wants to hear me long"

Krista
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When I was younger, my parents had me attend Sunday school. We always had to sing songs and this one song was "Praise thee the Lord, Hallelujah!" and I thought it was "Crazy the Lord, Hallelujah!" I'm almost 21 now and I didn't realize this until a few years ago. I just can't stop thinking about me belting that out during Sunday school.

Holly
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I was telling my boyfriend about the hymn "Victory in Jesus" and when I got to the part that went "He sought me/and bought me" my boyfriend thought I said "He socked me/and bopped me."

Camille Noire
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'"I am the Lord of the Dance," said he.'

I believed that this was actually 'I am the Lord of the Damp Settee', and every time it rained, I would drag our sofa outside, so that I could ask Jesus for toys...

Lord of the Things
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When I was about 9, Michael Flatley (the Riverdance guy) released the show "Lord of the Dance" and I remember hearing about it. At around the same point in my life, we used to sing the hymn "The Lord of the Dance" at school masses.

So, obviously whenever we sang "dance then, wherever you may be, I am the Lord of the Dance, said he" I used to think that Jesus liked Riverdancing and wanted everyone to Riverdance with him.

Max
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"Mark and Gerald's angels sing
Glory to the new born King..."

"Our Father
Who art in Heaven
Harold be thy name..."

Harold. WORSHIP ME!
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my auntie used to believe that the song that goes "i am the Lord of the dance said he" was "I am the Lord of the Dump Settee!

Anon
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There was a hymn we sang at school which had the line "i am the lord of the dance, said he".
I used to dance around my house and jump on the sofa (the settee), and thought the words of the song were "I am the lord of the dance settee", and had a mental image of jesus jumping up and down on the sofa with me!

Anon
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