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A few years ago, I attended Catholic mass with my brother and father. My brother and I hadn't been brought up Catholic, so the rituals and hymns were all very new to us. When the congregation began to sing "Hosana in the highest", my brother whispered to me, "Are they saying 'Throw Osama in the fire'?"
As a preschooler, I though the final line of "Away in a Manger", "And take us to heaven to live with thee there", was "And take us to heaven to live with the BEAR". I pictured Jesus at his throne accompanied by a huge shadowy black bear. Which was, of course, terrifying.
in some hymns, they say, let the seas roar! i thought the seas would literally roar like tigers and would swallow you up at the seaside!
do you know the swahili song that goes Siahumba kukan yenhe kwen kos (sorry i don't speak any swahili and this spelling is probably completely wrong!), or the english translation, We Are Marching In the Light of God. When I was young and when everyone sang that song in church, I always used to think on the kwen kos bit they were singing about cous cous!
i used to think that when we sang ' sing hosana sing hosana' in assemblies at school that we was singing about my friends mum who was called rosanna!!! and i used to be so jealous that her mum was so special to be in a song!!!
we sang a song at church 'i will make you fishers of men if you follow me' i used to get confused cos i thought it said 'i will make you vicious old men' I always wondered why being vicious was good....
When I was five, we often used to sing a hymn at school called "Lord of the Dance". However, whenever we came to the chorus I had this peculiar image of God and Jesus jumping up and down like deranged maniacs on a large couch. The problem, as I discovered years later, was that where the words were actually "I am the lord of the dance said he", I was hearing "I am the lord of the dance settee"!
when I was 5 years old, I used to believe that Kingdom of God was on the clouds, so one day, I took the plane. When I saw the plane hadn't stopped on the kingdom, I screamed and one of the passengers was so emotionnal and told me the truth about the God [the kingdom is in the space and actually no plane could go so high}and until my 12 birthday, I was looking forward to waiting for this ultra-fast sonic plane.
...that when people sang The Battle Hymn Of The Republic they were singing about a lady named Glory who "had a looyah". I didn't know what a looyah was, but I figured it must be important that Glory had one.
In our church, there was a hymn called "Onward Christian Soldiers." The next line of the song was "Marching As to War."
My mom loves to tell the story that when I was little I would sing "Onward Christian Soldiers, Marching through the Door." She claims I must have been a pacifist from an early age.
When I was a little kid (3 or so) my mom and I listened to Buddy Holly all the time, so of course I knew who he was and all. Anyways I sang that christmas carol "Deck the Halls" as "Deck the halls with Buddy Holly"
so cute.
When i was 7 i heard the hymn in the church. This hymn was about Sain Ann. I am Ann too so i thought that some people love me so much that they sing about me. I even thanked to some people in the church. I didn't know why they were laughing :)
We used to sing a Brownie song that had said "Dear God, teach us to love thee best of all." All through school I thought it said "Teachers do love me best of all!" -and would sing this at the top of my voice! cringe!
When I was little, there was a man in our church's choir who sang off-key and just a few beats behind the other singers. When the singers paused for a breath, you still could hear his voice, echoing eerily. I thought he was the Holy Ghost.
As a child i never really understood many of the messages in hymns, and frankly I didn't care. Anyway I remember thinking the lyrics for a certain hymn were "two-headed eagle in the law", as if by some divine right of christianity a mutant bird was patrolling our streets protecting all of christendom from heaven knows what. As I never took much notice of the Anglican teachings of such obscure lyrics I never questioned whether this was in fact what i was supposed to be singing. And I still don't know but im guessing "eagle" was probably "evil" and it would figure "law" was "lord". Other than that I've not a clue.
there was this song called Trust and Obey we used sing that had the lyrics "then in fellowship sweet." I always sang "then in fellows of wheat."
When I was a child, we just to sing this song in church called Victory in Jesus. Part of the lyrics were "He plunged me to victory, beneath the crimson flood." (to understand the next part of this story, you have to know that there was a small town named Hickory that was a few miles from where I lived). Instead of the above lyrics, I always thought it said "He punched me to Hickory, into a sea of blood." I always hated that song because I could just imagine Jesus punched me under the chin, and me flying across the air into this bloody sea.
i have a slight hearing problem and in church i made a few mistakes. instead of singing "up from the grave he arose" i would sing "up from the gravy rose." i never wuite understood it. the same with "deliver us from evil" which i believed to be "deliver us from weasels." at weddinds i thought "holy matrimony" was "holy macaroni". i thought macaroni was some secret part of a wedding ceremony we weren't allowed to see.
As a young child I was convinced that Sebastian Temple's musical version of the Prayer of St Francis began "Bake me a flannel of your peas.."
There was this one hymn that my church always sang. It went, "Our heavenly father,"
I always sang it "Our harily father,"
I pictured God as some hairy guy, just covered in fur.
I only found out the correct lyrics two years ago.
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