A friend used to believe that the words to the song "and He shall make us fishers of men", was actually "and He shall make us viscous old men".

Curious why God would want us to grow up to be miserable!

PaulT

As a preschooler, I though the final line of "Away in a Manger", "And take us to heaven to live with thee there", was "And take us to heaven to live with the BEAR". I pictured Jesus at his throne accompanied by a huge shadowy black bear. Which was, of course, terrifying.

Kathleen

When I was younger, my parents had me attend Sunday school. We always had to sing songs and this one song was "Praise thee the Lord, Hallelujah!" and I thought it was "Crazy the Lord, Hallelujah!" I'm almost 21 now and I didn't realize this until a few years ago. I just can't stop thinking about me belting that out during Sunday school.

Holly

In a Presbyterian sunday school at the age of 8 or 9, I learned a hymn whose lyrics went:

[i]The Church's one foundation is Jesus Christ, our Lord.
She is the true creation of water and the Word.
From Heaven he came and sought her to be his holy bride.
With his own blood he bought her, and for her life he died.[/i]

The doctrines proposed in this text were rather unlike anything I had heard before. I gathered that Jesus was married, even if Jesus' wife's name was not preserved by history. Jesus came down from Heaven to marry her. Jesus' wife was created from water, no doubt by a process similar to Eve's creation from Adam's rib. Jesus' watery wife did something bad that Jesus took the rap for when he was crucified.

Steve G

When I was young (well, up until I was 22 in fact) I always thought that in the popular hymn, the line was "I am the lord of the dancing bee" and not "I am the lord of the dance said he". Bang went my vision of a giant yellow and black striped being with a halo and beard.

Danny Kendall from Grange Hill

Up until I was nearly a teenager I believed that the Christmas carol "Silent Night" ended in "sleep in heavenly peas" and could not figure out why in the world ANYONE would want to lay in a bed of peas. I actually imagined a lady and a baby laying in a huge waterbed type piece of furniture filled with peas.

Also when I was younger I believed the song "Secret Agent Man" was really "Secret Asian Man" That one was pretty confusing too. But my dad thought it was pretty funny.

Marcie

When I was little we used to sing a song in church called father Abraham " Father Abraham had many sons and many sons had father Abraham I am one of them and so are you so lets all praise the lord" I thought they were talking about Abraham Lincoln and I always wondered why he was the father of everyone!!!

confused

I used to believe God had a pet tortoise. There was a hymn we sang that went "Great things he hath taught us"

Lozza

i don't know if any of u know kid's songs but there's this one that goes "who built the ark? noah! noah!" like the story in the bible and i always thot it was "who build the ark? no one! no one!"
there was this other song about the golden rule that went "do to others, do to others, as u would have them do to u" and i thot they were singing "u have 2 mothers, u have 2 mothers etc" i always had a picture in my head of 2 women *both looking like my mom* pushing me in a stroller together

emily

As a kid, I misheard the song "He's got the whole world in His hands" as "He's got the whole world in His pants." I cackled like an idiot and realised how stupid i was when I heard the real lyrics at about age eight.

Stevo

The verse from a popular Easter hymn reads, "Up from the grave, He arose!". As a child I thought it was, "Up from the gravy...A rose!"

Sharaon

My mother told me once that it was a mortal sin to sing Christmas carols if it wasn't Christmas. (I think she was just tired of listening to them.) Even though I loved Christmas carols I was deathly afraid to sing any before November 1 or after Christmas, or else I would go to hell when I died.

Anon

I always thought the line of "In Exelsis Deo" from the carol "Angels We Have Heard On High" was actually "Angels eat eggshells daily", and informed my very confused mother that I didn't want to go to heaven, because I didn't want to eat eggshells.

Jupiter

In the Lutheran church I attended every Sunday, we sang "Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the Highest." One really beautiful woman in the choir also had an amazingly good voice, and because the choir stood in a loft far above the rest of us parishoners, and no one told me what the word "Hosanna" meant, I figured that "Hosanna" must be the woman's name and we were singing about her.

sparklefish

When I was little, there was a man in our church's choir who sang off-key and just a few beats behind the other singers. When the singers paused for a breath, you still could hear his voice, echoing eerily. I thought he was the Holy Ghost.

Robbie

When I was younger our class was practising "we wish you a merry christmas" for the holidays. And instead of singing "oh bring us some figgy pudding", I believed the words were "Oh bring us some friggen pudding." Well, how many 5 year old's know what figgy's are??

redheadgal

My sis used to love lasagna. When we went to church, we would sing "Hosanna in the highest" but with my sister's love for lasagna she thought it was "Lasagna in the highest". She actually never found out till the third grade.

Becca

When I first went to school, we sang the same hymn every day. no one ever taught you the words, you just picked tehm up as you went along. So I spent three years of my life thinking Jesus had a dancing sofa, cos I was singing "I am the Lord with the Dancing Settee" (instead of "I am the Lord of the Dance, said he")

Anon

as a child my aunt thought that the hymn "Gladly the cross I'd bear" was about a bear called Gladly who had - yep - crossed eyes. . .

dragonfly

When I was 6, my class sang "Silent Night" for the school Christmas program. One of the kids asked the teacher what a virgin was. She said that "round yon virgin mother and child" mean that the mother and child were around on the other side of a mountain. Even after I learned the real meaning of the word virgin, I still thought that it was an alternate word for mountain. This was especially confusing to me because I am from West VIRGINia, also known as the Mountain State.

Anon