I always thought the line of "In Exelsis Deo" from the carol "Angels We Have Heard On High" was actually "Angels eat eggshells daily", and informed my very confused mother that I didn't want to go to heaven, because I didn't want to eat eggshells.

Jupiter

In the Lutheran church I attended every Sunday, we sang "Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the Highest." One really beautiful woman in the choir also had an amazingly good voice, and because the choir stood in a loft far above the rest of us parishoners, and no one told me what the word "Hosanna" meant, I figured that "Hosanna" must be the woman's name and we were singing about her.

sparklefish

As a young child I was convinced that Sebastian Temple's musical version of the Prayer of St Francis began "Bake me a flannel of your peas.."

Anon

My niece attended a church-run preschool even though my sister and brother-in-law were not religious. The preschool taught the class the song "Jesus Loves Me". My niece thought that song contained the line "...because Feifel tells me so" instead of because the bible tells me so. She had seen the video Feifel Goes West so many times that she was sure that the little mouse, Feifel, told people that Jesus loved us.

Vanessa

When I first went to school, we sang the same hymn every day. no one ever taught you the words, you just picked tehm up as you went along. So I spent three years of my life thinking Jesus had a dancing sofa, cos I was singing "I am the Lord with the Dancing Settee" (instead of "I am the Lord of the Dance, said he")

Anon

I was watching an old Christmas video from 1985 with my younger sister and I singing Christmas tunes and for the lyrics of the popular hymn "Silent Night", I was screaming "Holy infant so tender and WILD" instead of "Holy infant so tender and mild". I must have thought Baby Jesus was a wild kid!

Jess

When he was a kid, my husband thought the hymn "bringing in the sheaves" was "bringing in the cheese."

Anon

When I was about four I thought that the song "Go tell it on the mountain" was "Go telly on the mountain." I thought that the song was about a television sitting on top of a mountain broadcasting a news program about Jesus' birth. Even today, when I hear the song, I imagine a television sitting there all alone in the snow with a nativity scene on the screen.

Anon

When I was a little kid (3 or so) my mom and I listened to Buddy Holly all the time, so of course I knew who he was and all. Anyways I sang that christmas carol "Deck the Halls" as "Deck the halls with Buddy Holly"

so cute.

Anon

We sang without hymnbooks at our school and this was in the 70s when conflict in the Middle East was in the news a lot - we had a hymn with a line which I was sure went "and set the damned Jordan free" - when I finally saw a hymnbook and found out it was "and set the downtrodden free" I was disappointed

still singing it like that now

Back when I was about two or three years old (old enough to know a word but not know what it means), I attended Sunday School. Anyway, one of the highlights of the year was giving a little concert for our parents when we sang the Bible songs we learned. On one occasion, a song in the class's repertoire was about David and Goliath (For those who are unfamiliar with the story, it's about a shepherd boy who kills a giant with a slingshot.) The last line goes "And the giant came tumbling down," but I heard it wrong. Imagine the shock on my teacher's face when at rehearsal, she heard me sing "And vaginas came tumbling down." I almost got kicked out of Sunday school! Luckily, I learned the lyrics right.

Anon

you know that song that goes "Hosanna in the Highest" well i used to think it went, "Lasagna in the Hallways" i always thought it went that way until i asked my mom, "hey, mom? wouldnt the lasagna go bad if it was just sitting there all the time?" My mom: "what?" Me: "you know, the lasagna. in the hallway?" then i sang the song for her and she just started laughing.

May italian food save us all...

At Sunday School we sang a childrens hymn with the line "pity my simplicity". My young sister was heard singing the line, "pretty mices come to me".

Rita

I went to a church school and from the age of 4 was convinced the words of the hymn "All things Bright and beautiful" were followed by the line "All creatures stuffed with straw" I think its possibly due to early childhood visits to a local taxidermy museum...... what were my parents thinking of! Still dont know what comes next.

Mo

When I was little, I didn't know that "want" used to mean "need" as in "needy," so I thought that when you said, "The Lord is My Shepherd, I shall not want," you didn't want the Lord being your Shepherd & wished he would just go away.

I also thought that at Christmastime you sang, "Round yon virgin," because she was round, because she was pregnant with Jesus.

I also thought that the choir at Compline was singing about "God the Holy Parakeet." I still don't really know what a paraclete is.

Susan

When I was a very small person, my fatehr used to teach me little songs. One of these songs was to the tune of "Onward Christian Soldiers" and I believed that the words my father taught me were the real words. The first time I was able to stand up and sing hymns in church, I jumped onto my seat and proudly belted out, "Lloyd George knew my father, father knew Lloyd George!! Lloyd George knew my father, father knew Lloyd George!!" over and over until the hymn was finished. My mother was horrifed but my father had to excuse himself becuase he was laughing so much.

Nemo

I used to think the words to "Amazing Grace" were "that saved a wrench like me" instead of "that saved a wretch like me". I wasn't quite sure what it meant to be a wrench and I didn't figure out the real words until my mom told me - after I'd sung the wrong words solo in front of my grandparents!

gracy

This was actually my friend's belief, but I had to put it. He went to church every Sunday as a child, and they would sometimes sing the song "Gladly the Cross-eyed Bear", which he supposed was a song about a bear named Gladly who had eye problems. It wasn't until later that he realized the song was "Gladly the Cross I'd Bear"

Mercedes

My mother was raised Catholic at a time when the mass was still conducted in Latin, and picked up a rather garbled half-understanding of the language. So, at Christmastime, when everyone was singing "Adeste Fideles," she was absolutely convinced that "Venite adoremus" ("O come let us adore him") meant "Here comes the dormouse."

Marianne

Before I could read, as a child I sang the song, "Lo in the grave he laid, Jesus my Savior." I wondered what was Jesus doing lying in the gravy?

blou