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I misheard "Bringing in the Sheaves" as "Bringing in the Sheep". It was in an episode of The Simpsons. Since there are a lot of metaphors in the Bible involving sheep, I did not pay it much thought.
And my brother also misheard it like this, so we would go around singing it like that.
'"I am the Lord of the Dance," said he.'
I believed that this was actually 'I am the Lord of the Damp Settee', and every time it rained, I would drag our sofa outside, so that I could ask Jesus for toys...
He is exalted the king is exalted on high,
was sung
he is exhausted the king is exhausted oh my!
And in the hymn
"He only can unlock the gate"
I used to feel sorry for Him, thinking that bit wasn't a very good job to have and that it was sad that that was all he could do.
"I will cast, all of my Burdens, down at your feet"
turned into:
"I will cast all of my Birdies, down at your feet"
What God wants with a bunch of dead birds by his feet is beyond me.
I used to think the words to "Silent Night Holy Night" at the end, were "Christ the Savior is bored." It's "Christ the Savor is born."
My mother was raised Catholic at a time when the mass was still conducted in Latin, and picked up a rather garbled half-understanding of the language. So, at Christmastime, when everyone was singing "Adeste Fideles," she was absolutely convinced that "Venite adoremus" ("O come let us adore him") meant "Here comes the dormouse."
When my grandma was little, she thought the words to "Jesus loves me" were "Jesus slaws me." She couldn't figure out what that meant, or why Jesus would want to "slaw" anyone!
I used to think that the words of a popular christmas carol were...
Oh Come all ye faithful
Joyful and Triangle
Scottish Accent:
"A Wain in a Manger
No crib for the bairn"
Were the first lines to "Away in a Manger" according to my brother-in-law from Glasgow.
I used to dislike the old Sunday School Song, "I have the joy, joy, joy joy down in my heart," because I thought the lyrics were "down in my heart Tuesday." (Real lyrics: "Down in my heart to stay.") I sang it submissively for awhile, but got so bothered by the fact that, although today wasn't Tuesday, I still had the joy in my heart. So I would always sing the current day under my breath just to prove I was joyful today. (i.e. "Down in my heart Friday...")
I used to think the song "Who Built the ark? Noah. Noah." was "Who built the Ark? No one, no one!"
At church we sang a hymn with the refrain, "Sing praises to His name, He forgets not His own." For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why I was being asked to praise God simply for remembering His own name.
Me and my sister both thought for ages that the words to a hymn we used to sing at school "For I am the Lord of the Dance, said he", went "For I am the Lord of the down setee". We were a bit confused about this and worried because we didn't have a setee in our house - did that mean we couldn't have Jesus in our house too?
In one church hymn the words are- most highly favoured lady, but I used to think it was most highly flavoured gravy.
We had to sind carols at school, but not having any clue about religiou stuff, I used to be sure that the words were..
"and in thy dark streeets CHIIINA "
because obviously its dark in China....
"and in thy dark streets shineth", just doesn`t work for me, even now
When my son was little he came back from church and said that they had sung his favourite hymn about the drains. I asked him to sing the song to me and he sang 'Guard our drains, guard our drains' instead of 'Our God reigns, our Gods reigns'.
As a child, when I first became acquainted with the song, "Bring A Torch, Jeanette, Isabella", and for some time thereafter, I thought it was "Bring A Torch, Jeanette Is A Bella". I wondered what in the heck a bella could be. But I was sure it was something very evil, since the song seemed to be calling for someone to bring a torch to burn up Jeanette for being one!
We used to sing that old hymn that has a line "O God of Bethal by whose hand hast all our Father's led"
My Dad enjoyed fishing and I could never work out why God had taken all my father's lead.
I thought that the lyrics to Silent Night were "Sleep in heavenly peas" instead of "Sleep in heavenly peace". Poor Jesus, asleep in the peas...
when i was little, around the age of 5 i used to believe God's frist name was Andy, becuse of the song "In the Garden" i heard "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me ..." insdead of "And He walks with me, And He talks with me..."
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