When I was at school we sang the hymn 'Lord of the Dance' in assembly. I thought the lyrics went;

"Die then, wherever you may be
I am the Lord of the Dance said he
And I'll kill you all, wherever you may be
And I'll kill you all with the dance, said he."

I honestly thought that Jesus wanted to kill me. It didn't really bother me though and I'm not sure if that was because I just accepted it as normal or because I didn't really believe in God anyway.

Caroline

I used to think there was a place called Orientar, where the Three Kings came from. According to the Christmas Carol!

Confused caroler

Before I could read, as a child I sang the song, "Lo in the grave he laid, Jesus my Savior." I wondered what was Jesus doing lying in the gravy?

blou

I also used to think God had a pet tortoise. Why? Well, one of the hyms we sang went "Great things he hath tortoise". What would you have thought?

Laurie

When I was little, I thought the hymn that goes, "Hosanna in the highest heaven...' meant someone called Hosanna (because the name is like Rosanna) was a woman in heaven who is like an agony aunt who when you go to confession helps you sort out your problems!

Natski

When I was a child, the song "The First Noel" had me thinking that the word "certain" could be a verb. The line "The first Noel the angels did say was to certain poor shepherds in fields where they lay" meant to me that the poor shepherds were uncertain about something, so the angels came to "certain" them, that is, to make them certain.

Bobby

I used to think that Orientar was a place, as in "We three kings from Orientar"

Katie

When I was a Girl Guide, we would start every meeting by singing a song that included the line 'God is nigh'. For about two years, I was sure I was singing 'God is nice' until one of the leaders kindly corrected me. And then laughed.

Anon

again, as a child i used to sing a gospel hymn called "joshua fought the battle of Jerichoe and the walls came tumbling down"
until i was about 6 i would belt out in church "Joshua bit the bottle of cherry-coke and the walls came tumbling down"

kaitlyn

I used to think that the song "When the Saints Go Marchin' In" was really "When the SINKS Go Marchin' In." For years I always pictured a line of dancing bathroom sinks whenever I heard or sang that song.

Olivia

In a home video of me when I was three, I sang the "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" lyrics as "Good tidings we bring, to you and your kid." Until my mom corrected me, I never even knew the word "kin" existed.

Sarah

At the end of Sunday School in church they used to take a collection (donation of money ) from each one of us.
I believed ( aged 4/5) that every week the teacher left Sunday School and went up to heaven to give the money to God!!!

Gill

when i was little, i went to a jewish day camp. we would sing a song everyday that went like this: "let the heavens be glad / let the heavens be glad / let the earth rejoice / let the sea roar / let people unite!" I thought the last line was "let's go to sea world tonight" my mom still teases me about that, 10 years after i would sing that...

moi

Like many others here, I too used to wonder what the deal was with the cross-eyes bear named Gladly. Boy am I relieved to see I'm not the only one who was miguided!

Anon

I used to think that the old folk hymn "Do, Lord" (do, Lord, oh do, Lord, oh do remember me...) was about a fairy called the "Dew Lord", and I couldn't figure out why he and Jesus were in the same song...

Anon

Iin the Christmas song, Hark the herald angels sing, when they say in excelsis deo, I used to think that they were singing Inn at Chelsie's stable, seeing as there was no room in any other inn, so they had to stay at the Inn in Chelsie's stable!

Still sing it wrong

When I was 5, I first went on a plane-a Virgin Atlantic one***-to America. When I returned, at school we had to sing hyms every day, and one time we sang "The Virgin Mary had a Baby Boy." Being the slightley odd child that I was, and not realising what Virgin meant, I thought that Virgin Atlantic Planes had sponsered the song. Damn.

***It was Halloween when we flew, and there was a witch drawing competition, and my sister won. She won a soft toy (a dog) and named it Virgin.


God knows what my parents thought about that!

Zanny

In school we had to sing "Jesus riding on a donkey." My brother, then four or five years old, came home proudly singing it...

Except that he thought Jesus was riding on a DOGGIE.

silverstar1809

I still remember singing "Oh, Santa" -- instead of "Hosanna". Was I embarassed when my Grandmother corrected me!

DLN

In the hymn 'Jerusalem' I thought the line was "'Til we have built Jerusalem in England's green, unpleasant land"

It actually talks about England's green AND pleasant land. I always thought it was quite mean for a patriotic song.

Victoria